I have this feeling
like hammers in my gut
so many of them banging
I'd like to let go but...
They persist so bad right now
cant focus on a thing
feel giddy from the feeling
and all the hurt they bring...
why does this always happen
why cant i just live and 'be'
such an isolated feeling
It's my head that holds the key.....
Only I can stop this
Only I can change
Please help me in this hour of need
I'm stuck in a tiny cage......
Please set me free from panic
carry me on your wings
let me hear your angel sighs
...be with you when they sing.....

sorry

Jin xx

can I take much more? How can I change, how do I become a better, more positive person......I'm hurting and I cant get any release......

I'm trapped in here, this shell of a half person, and I feel like a nasty, horrible wreck .......

I' so sorry ,,,,, maybe I should vent elsewhere....

Jin

[moodyblu]

I'm so sorry....I don't know anywhere else you could "vent" at this hour. I don't know what to do from here but offer you care and prayers and a gentle hug hon....but others are here too to help. I remember what that was like to feel that way and I'm sorry for that. I know how hard it is.
I know it seems almost a cliche...but try your deep breathing. I know it's hard to concentrate...but with breathing you don't really have to do much. Breathe and a mantra...only if it's "help me God"....it's a prayer.
I'm with you in spirit girl! You know that!
Hugs...d.

thankyou dan....I am so bad right now...I just cant see an end to this.....I need to be strong, confident, be a better person and be here for my kids.....I just cant settle....Ifeel like taking a sleeping pill...my husband started his new job today, my son has exams, my daughter is going to college, i feel I should be contributing and I'm not, I'm just here, being miserable, I said prayers, I'm breathing, the knot is tightening.....I'm useless

j

[moodyblu]

Sounds like you have too much on your plate right now hon.
Lets forget about "better person"..."contributing"...and concentrate on Kerry breathing calmly for starters.
You are not useless! You can forget about that too!
You are a very kind and giving person! Everyone knows that!
I have to work now dear one...I will pray for you on my long drive...
hugs of care...
d.

I just snapped....something gave....I put on my coat, my gloves, scarf, took a deep breath and took my dog for a long walk by myself......I wanted to sob all the way, so tight was my stomach, hands were shaking and I thought of my safe little cottage all the way round......but I did it.....and me and my dog are happy..... I broke down and cried when I came home though....least I didn't do it whilst I was out..... It was sucha ig step for me....I havent been out by myself for so long in the daytime...I hate when people see me, I think I'm paranoid....

j

[mlpHolmes]

This is the place Jinny!
I am so very sorry you are feeling so much pain (I'd gladly take some of it).
May the countless seeds of love that you plant in other's hearts all bloom for you so very soon.

In Love & Light
Marian

[moodyblu]

Yes...a big step! I'm proud of you...you did so good!
Kerry...I know it's hard for you to do...but walking it out or exercise is good for stress. Perhaps try to do it once every day now.
Your dog would like it too! Our animals sense when we are not feeling well. You'll get mutual wellness from it....and you'll both wish to walk more together. It's a positive habit to look forward to.
Take care girl...peace to your heart.
d.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( jinny ))))))))))))))

((((jinny)))))

[NewDawnFades]

I'm sending you a whole bunch of hugs your way!!! Stay Strong - We Love You!!!

[Susan27]

((((((((((((( jinny ))))))))))))))))