[yuki33]

Hello everyone
This is my first time posting I hope you'll help me . At first i had normal anxiety u know before and exam or simpe stuff the last two years I have gotten worse I cant concentrate in the university I failed a subject twice out of anxiety on exams I dont get much sleep . It's not only in my studies It's even in my health I have a friend who is psychological consultant for cancer patients and every time we talk I ask her about breast cancer or other kinds and i feel worried that i might get beast cancer even though she tries to calm me down and she did say that i do have signs of GAD . I just notice I'm getting worse to the point as when i fail an exam or do bad at a test I keep telling my self ur a failure u can't do anything right always missing up ur alaways a burden and then i lock myself up in my room and when my mom tries to comfort me i flinch when she touches me as if i dont deserve her being nice to me my family are worried about me they say i keep locking myself up and i dont open up to them anymore I do open up to my fiance but even he is worried about me and i keep telling him things like u deserve someone better than me or I'm not perfect like u think sometime i worry that he will get tired of me and just leave even though he is there for me all the time . I dont know what to do anymore . Do i need to go to a doctor if so can i do it without my family knowing i dont want to worry them about me I'm not sure if they will even take me and if u all can please give me advice tell me am I being too anxious

[Perna]

Yuki, welcome to PsychCentral (PC). I find it an interesting place that can be soothing to my fears.

See if your university has a counseling center and go see them. Your family (or anyone else) won't have to know. I did that when I was in university.

I had a lot of symptoms of GAD for a long time and still worry too much sometimes. I am helped when I am around calm, friendly people rather than on my own because my own head can get to be too much for me.

If you can learn to be nice to yourself, not tell yourself lies like that you are undeserving or stupid, etc. that is about the only way I know to combat worry. You are working hard at your school work and that is admirable. Give yourself credit for trying! Be kind to yourself, especially when you are taking a test; picture yourself doing well on the test and reward yourself for taking the test and doing the best you can.

You would not be in university unless people outside of you thought you could do the work? And you have done the work up to where you are now! Use other people's good judgments if you are telling yourself lies and not being friendly to yourself. Use your mother's and fiance's love to help you rather than pushing them away. Love is love, it is there to help and you insult the other person when you do not accept that help. If you said to me, "Perna, I like what you say" and I said, "No, it is not good" that would be an insult to you and your feelings and judgment! It is the same if you tell the people who love you that they should not love you.