[teejai]

Someone i know on usenet who i get on quite well with and lives quite close to me offered to meet up . She's a nice person and it was a well meant offer but truth be told it's thrown me into a state of panic.
Mainly because i have this strong fear that if people were to meet me face to face they would realise what a boring/uncharismatic/inadequate kind of person i really am.

Now i am in 'retreat into corner'/ frightened/mode as i can often get when i sense people getting too close due to a fear of disappointing/not living up to expectations and/ or feeling awkward/insecure emotionally when people get too close.(comfort zone thing?).

Social anxiety sucks!

[Perna]

Just apologize to her in an e-mail or message and explain a little bit, that you have "trouble meeting online people in person". She'll understand and be happy to talk to you for a longer time until you feel you can meet or figure out something inbetween.

[sabby]

(((((( teejai )))))))

Sorry you are feeling uneasy about meeting this friend in person. I have somewhat of an understanding of how you are feeling. Sometimes I get anxious and feel scared when going out and meeting people too.

I don't know if this will help you or not, but maybe it's worth a shot....Before I go to meet someone, whether it be someone I've known online, a job interview and sometimes just going shopping, before I let the anxiety kick in I go to my mirror and tell myself that I am what I am. I don't have to pretend I'm anyone else. I don't have to be a star and have everyone hanging on my last word. I can be me and others can make their own opinions. I am not responsible for anyone but me.
Take me or leave me.....but here I am in all my glory! LOL

Maybe meeting her in a place where YOU are comfortable going to would help a bit. You can arrive there a few minutes earlier than the meeting time to acclimate yourself to your surroundings and getting comfy. When on your familiar turf things are a bit less stressful no?

Nothing wrong in letting her know how nervous you are. That way she is aware of it and can be more in tune with how you are feeling which in turn should she can help you to feel more comfortable.

I know it's hard to feel confident when we are unsure of our own abilities. Just remember that what you see in yourself does not mean that others see the same

Wishing you well!


sabby