I Screwed Up Again!!!

It's unbelievable how much I screw up. I try to do things right and not make the same mistakes, yet I keep doing them. This time, I clogged the toilet, and Mike's away. He got a "heavy-duty" plunger, and it's got a thick rubber plunger thingy, and I need to use both hands to push it down, and it takes quite a bit of muscle. I worked up a bit of a sweat, and that's BAD for my OCD. I just had a shower a few hours ago, and I hate getting sweaty after getting all clean. I couldn't get it to flush from the plunging, but the water went down lower, so I don't know if it cleared or not. I don't think it did, because it usually doesn't mean it's cleared if the plunging doesn't cause it to flush. I'm scared to flush it manually to see if it's ok, for fear it'll rise up and spill out. I don't want to lift the top of the back, because I don't even know how to stop the flushing inside there, and more to the point, the idea of sticking my hand and arm in there makes me cringe. My OCD has been through hell, especially yesterday, dealing with some other problems.

Mike's not here and won't be back until Sunday. We have no mop. The only cleaning product for regular cleaning that Mike's gotten since we moved is a broom. Additionally, if the toilet water overflows, that will be hell for my OCD. I'll have to flush it by the time I have to go again, but I'm scared. I have no one to help me. I don't know what I can do.

Why do I always screw up? I try to be careful to not clog the toilet, and I couldn't have done it too badly this time, because I didn't use that much TP. For those who don't know, I have OCD, and I not only do the normal wiping, I wet several handfuls of TP and clean in back and front, plus use several more handfuls to dry. I repeat as necessary. I usually flush several times, so as not to clog the toilet, but I obviously got too much in this last time before flushing. My mind's on so many things, I can't focus. Just when I thought everything was going to be ok till Mike got back, too. Why couldn't Mike get a plunger like the last one we had? It was easier to use. I'm worried, anxious and upset.

I needed to post here and get this off my chest. I keep making these stupid mistakes, and I feel like an idiot. Mike gets frustrated with me repeating these dumb mistakes, and I do, too. I don't mean to!!! Why do I always screw up? I mean, I make stupid mistakes, usually involving my OCD, on a daily, or almost daily, basis, often several times in a day.

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Maven said:
It's unbelievable how much I screw up. I try to do things right and not make the same mistakes, yet I keep doing them. This time, I clogged the toilet, and Mike's away. He got a "heavy-duty" plunger, and it's got a thick rubber plunger thingy, and I need to use both hands to push it down, and it takes quite a bit of muscle. I worked up a bit of a sweat, and that's BAD for my OCD. I just had a shower a few hours ago, and I hate getting sweaty after getting all clean. I couldn't get it to flush from the plunging, but the water went down lower, so I don't know if it cleared or not. I don't think it did, because it usually doesn't mean it's cleared if the plunging doesn't cause it to flush. I'm scared to flush it manually to see if it's ok, for fear it'll rise up and spill out. I don't want to lift the top of the back, because I don't even know how to stop the flushing inside there, and more to the point, the idea of sticking my hand and arm in there makes me cringe.

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Pour some water in the bowl, just enough to cover the rubber part of the plunger. Put the plunger in, then pump it up and down several times. You can repeat this if needed. Do it enough times so that you think it is cleared, before you flush it.

You can also take another shower, if needed.

I'm sorry you are feeling so badly. Toilet bowls get stopped up, whether or not one has OCD.

Pachyderm's advice makes sense.

Take some deep breaths, and take your time. Wash as often as you need to feel comfortable. The toilet paper will continue to degrade, so it will become easier to dislodge.

Spread old rags, old towels, or newspaper around the base of the toilet so that if it overflows, the water won't run all over. This will make the clean-up easier, should the bowl top over.

You do not have to put your whole arm and hand into the toilet to get the running to stop. All you have to do is lift the big rubber ball that floats on top of the water and is never more than partially submerged. You can remove the toilet lid before you flush, if you are afraid of water topping the bow.

Carefully put it in a safe place where it will not trip you or get broken. You can wear rubber gloves, if you have them, or put your hand in plastic grocery bag or freezer container bag. If the bowl is going to overtop, grab the rubber ball and lift it up. Protected by the plastic, your hand will not touch the water.

When necessary, if the water problem is bad, I have been able to stretch the handle of that big floater ball so that the ball catches on the side of the toilet tank and can rest there while the water drains. I do that so I don't have to stand there holding the ball, waiting for the situation to clear up, and I can leave the bathroom.

I am not very strong due to physical problems, but I live alone, and I have no choice but to get toilets unplugged all by myself.

Good luck with this. I know you can handle it.

I would start by going to the store and buying a lighter plunger that's easy for you to use. Buy yourself a packagae of the thin rubber gloves, like surgical gloves... then follow the directions that you've already been given. It shouldn't be that difficult to take another shower if you feel you need it.

OH! And have you thought of using baby wipes instead of all that TP?

I had the same thing happen to me about 2 weeks ago.

I tried a little plunger, found out it was the wrong one. My
brother went with me to pick out a good one. It worked!
But incase, you want to try another trick is to use vinegar
and baking soda, pour a generous amount of vinegar and
some baking soda. Leave it in for about 15-20 minutes and
it should clean out all clogged drains.

Don't worry this happens to all of us,at one time or another.
Why don't you use a wastebasket in the bathroom? That
way, your toilet won't clog.
Good luck and take care.

Thanks, everyone. Things are okay. I don't know if the plunger worked and it was so minor it didn't flush, or if the TP degraded and all was fine after that, or what, but it flushed ok.

Unfortunately, your solutions wouldn't work for me, although I appreciate the suggestions. I'll explain, to help you understand me better:

Plunging this particular plunger is pretty hard. It takes quite a bit of muscle. I get really nervous plunging, because I worry like crazy about water splashing on me and other things. I can't easily get a shower like others. First, I have to remember to make sure I have everything ready. I have to make sure my hands are clean before I take one and get those things. I have a whole ritual involved. It sounds simple to say, "Take a shower," but it's very stressful for me. Also, wiping down things with Clorox Wipes is stressful and tedious for me. Most people just wipe and go...I have to concentrate on getting every little spot; doing it many times, sometimes; often using several wipes for small areas or small jobs. And right now, I'm on my last container of Wipes (75 count), which normally get used up in a day or two, and Mike won't be back until Sunday.

It isn't as simple as washing as often as I need; I have to do it in a very specific way, and I get upset and tired. I have no old towels, rags, or newspapers; we recently moved here, and anything that could be thrown away, was. Plus, those things would be problematic for me, in that I worry about spreading dust, plus I can't pick up stuff off these floors. They're dirty to me.

I didn't mean that I thought my whole arm had to go into the back of the toilet; sorry if I miscommunicated. But putting my hand in that area, and especially the water, is awful for me. Additionally, the previous tenants didn't clean the toilet (YUCK!) and we still don't have cleaning supplies.

I know it's weird, but even with plastic bags or gloves, I have to wash my hands, and wipe my arms with disinfectant wipes, and it's all bad for me.

Sept, I have no transportation to any store, and none are close enough to walk to. My boyfriend is my only transportation.

I only have about four towels and washcloths, and I'm not able to do laundry. My bf has to clean the washer and dryer (NASTY!), plus it's musty and moldy in the basement (because our basement flooded three days after we signed the contract to buy this place), and that whole atmosphere makes me feel horrible and dirty. Taking a shower is difficult for me, as I previously explained, and takes me a while to get done.

I tried talking to my bf to getting some of those bathroom wipes to try out, but he kept putting off getting them (he procrastinates A LOT, and sometimes literally for years, like with me wanting to rent videos). I don't think they'd really work out, because I'd go through them so much. I don't think it would be cost-effective.

Sassy, thanks for the vinegar and baking soda suggestion. I've never heard of that. I don't have those "ingredients," but I'll look into getting them. As for a wastebasket, my bf hasn't gotten one, and like I said, puts things off terribly. I don't want to put dirty TP in one, anyway, because it'll stink up the bathroom.

My OCD is very, very bad, and controls almost everything I do. And it's weird. Even shrinks don't get it. I don't get it.

Sounds like you need some serious help with your OCD. What would you do if you were alone & didn't have a BF to depend on. Like this week....you are holding on with my BF will be home on Sunday.......what if you were all alone all the time????

I know that the problems I have had made it hard for me to function, especially when my husband was away & I remember thinking how great it will be when he gets home. I was depending on him for everything (sounds familiar????).

I know that now I don't have him around to depend on, I just have to do things & deal with my problems on my own. The more I depend on someone, the more I found I was catering to the issues I was having because I could depend on someone always being there to take care of everything. The more I learn how to take care of every different situation, the more confidence I have in how to handle things.....the more I know how to take care of situations, the less stress I have & the less I focus on the little things that were keeping me from doing things. They just have to be done & I have to do them no matter what.

It is easy to not do things when we have a reason not to.......but it is also important to know that you can handle your own life. The other person is not going to be there for us all the time, whether it is only until next Sunday, or for the rest of our lives. We never know what tomorrow will bring, & I know that the more pressure I put on the other person to take complete care of me, the more they are going to resent me in the long run & probably leave at some point in time when they get enough.

I know for me, until I had to take care of everything on my own, I didn't realize how empowering being self sufficient could be & that feeling definitely made everything else better.

I hope you can learn how to control your thinking to the point where your thinking quits controlling you....I know that OCD is a difficult condition & not easily overcome. I know that I needed help to get through my problems, but it also took determination on my part to stop letting those things control me. In other words, outside help is needed, but you also have to want the change before anything can happen for a change to occur.

I hope you get help with your OCD before it drives your BF away.....that may be why he procrastinates.....he may be just tired of doing everything (just something to think about)
Debbie

I mostly depend on my boyfriend because I can't afford a car and whatnot. Even though we no longer live in an apartment, he requires that I pay him the same amount of rent as in the apartment ($680), because he says he can't afford the house payments if I don't. If it were my own place, with the things I need, and me in control, I'd be ok.

It isn't that I don't know how to do most things, it's that I go through hell when I do. I don't have enough Clorox Wipes and other supplies, and no way to get more, if I let myself get dirty over and over. Additionally, that is way too stressful.

I don't put pressure on my bf to take care of me, with a few exceptions. He goes to work, and when he comes home, he goes on his computer. I cook. He isn't doing things for me in general. Once a week (sometimes less often), he takes me out for a day. I'm also the one who will be cleaning the house, when we get supplies, just like at the apartment. I take care of his bird, because he didn't keep the cage clean at the apartment, so I got him to get his bird a new cage (and a bigger one), and I'm the one who cleans it. I do a lot of things, even though it's hard on my OCD. I don't need more.

I'm trying to get him to take me to get the vitamins and fish oil I want (and the fish oil was recommended by the resident my shrink had me see), because it's supposed to help with the thoughts. I've seen psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors and even a hypnotist since I was a kid. I have been on one or more meds for 29 years.

My boyfriend hates my OCD (and I hate it more), but he likes that I'm here to take care of the things that he doesn't. He also wants the money I give him, or he can't afford his house. I want to be better and out of this relationship. He and I both want out of it, but we're together for convenience. I've told him flat out, if he wants me to go, tell me, and I'll go. My OCD has nothing to do with him procrastinating renting videos, buying vitamins, cleaning his bird's cage (at the apartment, I mean--he'd let it go for many months), etc.

Maven, perhaps it's time for you to play the old Paul Simon tune, 50 ways to leave your lover a few times.

Takes money, and an acceptable place, of which I have neither.

Maven, you do not have weird tendences (sp), I'am married to a man with OCD and I have empathy and compassion for you, this is a horrible way to live, but like my hubby says, at least I'm alive.
Hugs if wanted {{{{{{{Maven}}}}}}

Thank you. I appreciate the support, I really do.