[frostypaws]

I'm new to the boards so hi! I'm a 20 year old female attending community college. Hopefully this will be my last year (this semester will complete my third year there). For some background- I had my first panic attack in sixth grade. I began to regularly have them in high school. My dad's family has a history of anxiety and depression.

OK, last night was a sort of breaking point for me. It was the first day of classes and my first one was scheduled at a high school in a neighboring town. It was a long class, 2 hours and 45 minutes. All day yesterday I felt like crap. I'm on my period, and had a migraine. I took 2 Tylenol, took a nap, woke up, and still had it. I took 2 Excedrin (big mistake- 65 mg of caffeine each), and also had a cup of tea. An hour and a half before my class, I had diarrhea and just felt really bad, probably a mix of caffeine, my period, and nervousness over the first day of class. I had to go though. I was nervous the whole way there. I tried to breathe deep and tell myself to just make it to the parking lot, that I didn't have to go in if I still felt anxious. I made it in and found my class, took my usual seat in the back (I get very anxious if I have people sitting behind me). I only lasted an hour and 15 minutes. I tried so hard to stay, I didn't want to wimp out, but finally I just got up and left. I could breathe deep for a couple minutes and start to feel mildly OK, then I would start trembling, and I had cold sweats, sweaty hands, I just felt like I was losing control and trapped and I had to get out. I felt like I would have to use the bathroom but wouldn't make it there (that's one of my continuing fears- but it's not like it's ever happened to me).

After I left I started to feel better. I felt like I really wimped out. I went home and told my mom and cried. I never really told my family before that I had panic attacks because I was embarassed. She gave me half a Xanax, and I talked to one of my aunts for a while, who suffered from, and still does occasionally, panic and depression. I might be going to see her psychiatrist in the next couple days hopefully- my parents insurance runs out at the end of the month.

I really just want some support and understanding from people who are going through the same thing I am. I've kept my panic a secret for incredibly long and keeping it all inside has definitely started to take a toll on me. From last night I just feel exhausted.

[misty324]

Hi frosty,

I'm also new the boards so welcome.

I have suffered from anxiety/panic disorder for about 15 years. I definitely feel more of an impact when it's that time of the month, although sometimes it just comes out of nowhere.

I know all too well how trapped you can feel. I've been in grocery store check out lines, at concerts, at work, stuck in traffic (that's a bad one for me) and been struck with a panic attack. Luckily, I've learned how to spot them coming and I can either do some breathing exercises and/or take a Klonopin and try to head it off.

I'll share something that I learned once at a group therapy session many years ago. Try and train your mind to think of the worst case scenario and you will discover how unrealistic it really is. For example: If I'm stuck in traffic and feel an attack coming on. Imagine that if I'm stuck in the car, the car will run out of gas and I'll be stuck in the road. Then I'll get into an accident. Then my insurance will cancel me. Then I can't drive my car. Then I can't get to work. Then I can't make money. Then I can't pay my rent. Then I'll be homeless. Now, in reality, running out of gas while stuck in traffic will hardly ever equate to becoming homeless. But that's the path your mind takes during an attack. Realizing that the worst case scenario probably won't ever happen can sometimes help in dealing with an attack. Seemed to help me anyway.

Another thing I was told to try is to wear a rubber band around your wrist. Not tight, just like a loose fitting bracelet. Whenever you feel the panic/anxiety creeping up, start snapping the band. Not enough to hurt or leave a mark, but just enough to make you aware of it. Sometimes it can help distract your mind enough to head off the attack.

Those were things I learned a long time ago and seemed to help. I still suffer from attacks, but not nearly as frequently. Klonopin and Xanax are both relatively inexpensive drugs. If your doctor finds them appropriate, you at least won't have to worry about them costing a ton. I know the insurance thing can be a pain. I hope you are able to figure something out. I know by me, there are several retail stores who pay health insurance (at least partial) for part time employees - maybe that's an option if you are going to school.

Anyway, hope some of my rambling helps. If nothing else, just know that you are not alone in how you feel. It's not anything to be embarrased by. Definitely talk with your parents and your friends about it. Often times you might even find out you have friends that have the same issues and you never would have known unless you had said something.

All my best...
Namaste,
Misty

[Mouse_]

HI Frosty, I know those feelings well! wish I had something real helpful to say.

[Perna]

Hi, frostypaws, welcome to PsychCentral (PC). Sounds like you lasted most of your class. You were genuinely not well, that happens! Hope you get good support from your parents and others you decide to tell. Hanging around here is a good idea too. The boards (people!) here are great for cheering one up, entertaining, soothing, etc.

[jacq10]

((((((((((frostypaws)))))))))

First of all, welcome to PC You've definitely found the right place where people will understand what you're going through!

I'm sorry to hear about how anxious you've been lately... it's funny what you described about your being in class, and then having to leave. That exact same thing happened to me yesterday! (for the first time!) - although, you managed to stay there a whole hour longer than me, so you should be patting yourself on the back! And hour and 15 is a long time to be in a classroom when you're feeling especially anxious! I too felt like I had "wimped out" ... but, you (and I) really didn't. We just did what we had to in that moment. The good thing about University (or college) is, that no one really care whether or not you leave in the middle, there are people coming and going the whole class!

I'm really glad that you have your mom and your Aunt to lean on and have as a support. That is SO good. If it is (and it sounds like it is) genetic, then it probably is a good idea to talk with your psychiatrist about how you've been feeling.

Anyhow, feel free to PM (Private Message) me if you'd ever like someone to talk to... I'm around your age, and would be glad to talk if you'd like!

Take care,
Jacq

[Doh2007]

I can relate. I have a bunch of strategies to cope. I saw a definition of claustrophobia that I totally relate to: the fear of not being able to escape. I always know where the bathrooms are.

[tsha]

(((frostypaws)))
Welcome to PC. You should be proud of yourself for opening up to your mom. Regardless, you should go see your doctor, if not the psychiatrist. You don't need to suffer through the anxiety attacks; having a lot of experience with them I know how debilitating they are.
You also want to learn about things you should and shouldn't do. One would be staying away from caffeine.
Good luck and come here for support.

[BalishBun]

I know how you feel. I said the same thing "They better give me something quick before my insurance through my dad runs out!" It sucks how when you need something its always when your pressed for time. I didn't have all my health issues until it was almost my 22nd bday (insurance cut-off). I get the drained feeling from the panic attacks too. I just had one right now as I was trying to get more of my much needed sleep and it felt like my heart was going to pop out of my body, and everytime I thought about it it got worse. I finally couldn't take it and got up and took my blood pressure. Fine. I tried walking to the bathroom and felt like I was going to pass out on my way there, and once I was there I felt like I was going to pass out on the toilet. You know what? I think I would rather have the stomache flu for a week rather than anxiety!!!