[PixiePrincess]

Hi, I am 14 years old, but these last couple years I have had a lot of changes, and this sometimes makes me feel quite uncomfortable.
I have been changing cup size since about age 11, and I am currently at 32DD, and I have also got wider hips.
And I do usually feel good about that, but I have also noticed that men often look at me,
I sometimes try to wear clothes that don't give me a lot of attention, but it is usually warm where I live, and it is very hard to wear light shirts without getting attention from men;
one man once told me that he thought that I walked in a "cute" way, and that made me very uncomfortable, but I just said "thanks" and made sure to leave.
And I am 4'11 and light, so most guys who look at me are a lot bigger than me, and this makes me feel very tense if I am not in public around a lot of other people.

Do you know what I can do about these situations?
It is quite frustrating sometimes.

[CANDC]

Hi @PixiePrincess welcome to MSF. I am sorry you are getting unwanted attention. That must be uncomfortable.

You seem to have some ideas how to wear looser clothing. In the winter time that is a lot easier.

One thing I notice is that people who wear heels tend to walk in certain ways that some men gaze at. Flat shoes do not tend to do that as much.

Also you mentioned being around other people you know can be comforting. These dresses also may tend to hide features 20 Summer Dresses That Hides Muffin Top — Autum Love

I hope you find ways to be comfortable and not get unwanted attention. @CANDC

[Marie123]

Unfortunaely. there is nothing we can do when men notice us. Ignore them. Responding makes them think you might be interested.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by PixiePrincess

Hi, I am 14 years old, but these last couple years I have had a lot of changes, and this sometimes makes me feel quite uncomfortable.
I have been changing cup size since about age 11, and I am currently at 32DD, and I have also got wider hips.
And I do usually feel good about that, but I have also noticed that men often look at me,
I sometimes try to wear clothes that don't give me a lot of attention, but it is usually warm where I live, and it is very hard to wear light shirts without getting attention from men;
one man once told me that he thought that I walked in a "cute" way, and that made me very uncomfortable, but I just said "thanks" and made sure to leave.
And I am 4'11 and light, so most guys who look at me are a lot bigger than me, and this makes me feel very tense if I am not in public around a lot of other people.

Do you know what I can do about these situations?
It is quite frustrating sometimes.

I do understand how you feel. I used to feel embarrassed when my breasts grew too soon. It was only the time to play with my friends.
Unluckily, we are in a society where men are reinforced by his peers and others or they simply see as normal to stare at girls and women or even say things to them. Without forgetting that if you wear tights or short skirts, some of them even think you deserves all these stupid commentaries, or even worse, they may approach to you, invade your personal space and even try to touch you.
When you are a person who is very young, with lack of living experiences or you are a shy girl, it’s all a hell of worse.

I would tell you. Stay safe. Look around yourself so noone you don’t allowed might approach to you.
Don’t worry if you portrait an unfriendly picture of yourself. Safety is what counts. Women are taught to be nice over anything and that doesn’t help.

Dress as you please. And try to give the response you are more comfortable with to unwelcome comments and sights.
Most of women choose to be quiet. Others replies “ you, slimy, tell it to your mum…or things like that.

I tend to ignore but always be cautious to keep those assholes at distance.

I think it’s normal you feel uncomfortable. You are suffering many changes, mental and physical. You are following a hard process but it has also a good point, you’re in the way to became a young adult soon.
Be patient with yourself. Don’t blame your clothes or yourself for these things. It’s lack of respect and education that it’s been here with us for years and counting.

Talk to us, if you feel comfortable and can give you a hand. Good luck!

[PixiePrincess]

Thanks, everyone.

Yeah, I am sometimes quite self-conscious about what I am wearing, and I definitely notice looks from men if I wear something that makes my breasts visible, and this seems to happen quite easily with a lot of shirts.
I enjoy wearing dresses which are just under my knees, since I think they are cute and feel good in warm weather, but this seems to also draw men's attention to my legs.
I am also very shy, and I have a very young face (some people have mistaken me for 11-12!), and this along with my short height seems to make men view me as unthreatening, so I guess this is why they sometimes openly try to flirt with me.
But I will remember to try to be more firm in front of them.

[CANDC]

@PixiePrincess remember that the more enotion they get from you whether anger or a response to their flirting, the more that eggs them on. Trying non reaction may be a way to keep cool.

The other attitude that may help is they do not appear to be really interested in you as a person, your mind or your talents or your personality, but only the body image that they see attractive.

They do not even know you and judging a person by their body is not a very complimentary thing to do. I am sorry that you have to put up with this but maybe being less stylish you can get less attention. CANDC

[AzulOscuro]

Nothing you can do. I wouldn’t like you had to change the way you like your outfits.
Many guys are gonna look at you even if you wore a burka.
It’s something some of them didn’t consider. They have to behave macho style no matter what.
Some of them are so straight away and direct that I’m not strange you feel uncomfortable. Shy people hate to call the attention. But, I’m sure you like to dress as your peers.

Try to be very frankly with those who jump into flirting without being invites. Be as harsh as possible. But, this is another thing that it’s hard for a shy girl.
As CANDC says: The best response is to ignore even if they approach you and you leave them without a single word. Go away, unless you are interested in the guy.

[PixiePrincess]

Thanks for your answers.
Yes, I really should try to be a bit more firm - I am probably a bit to mild-mannered than I should be.

It is a bit frustrating sometimes, since several of my favourite clothes are sundresses, and it is very hard for me to avoid having my breasts visible in those dresses, and they also stop at my knees, so I often catch men looking both at my breasts and my legs when I wear those dresses.
But I usually try to ignore them, since I find those dresses very comfortable, although I have considered buying some other type of dress that goes further up on my shoulders.

[jesyka]

Hi, sorry to hear that. You have a few options other than changing how you dress. Try giving these perverts a cold mean disgusted desth stare. Practice looking like you’d like to murder them or like they have dog poo on their faces,
lol 😆

It works. Use your hands to cross your arms over your chest. It conveys closed off body language. Also, get away from them. Don’t worry about being rude.

They don’t deserve your respect anyways for being pigs. If you feel safe enough & bold enough to do do, loudly say, sir, stop staring at my boobs! lol 😆

If you just sit there, they’ll probably assume you like the attention. That or you’re not going to do anything about things.

Treat them like dogs & punish bad behavior. Most of them will respond accordingly. I have even gotten a rockstar to go away & leave me the hell alone with my death stare, lol 😆

I gave him the disgusted death stare. Most men have big egos. Break that ego & most of the time they’ll back off.

Only do this in public though with lots of witnesses around as there are some unhinged men out there Get away from the rest immediately.

As for covering up if you must when it’s hot out, try wearing some cute lightweight scarves with your dresses or blouses.

One last thing, grown men should not be looking at an underage girl like that. Buy pepper spray & practice uding it. Hold your breath before spraying as the funes will knock you out.

You can find it on amazon or an army navy store. Keep it in an easily accessible place like a key chain or a pocket or side pocket of your purse at all times.

[unaluna]

I would not open a conversation with people who are staring, or try to "punish" them. A 14 yr old girl alone is not going to win a fight with boys or a man.

[Areumkrw]

Hello I'm sorry to hear about your troubles.
I was also a bit nervous about this problem in school as well.
So I can sympathize with your concerns about feeling unsafe.
Often I would try to wear baggy / boyish clothes to feel more comfortable.
School boys are easy to handle but some paranoia existed on trains rides etc.
Of course I grew up in Japan, so I'm sure there are differences but still relatable.

These days, I don't feel as concerned as an adult regarding this.
However, I hope nobody makes you feel down about your proportions.
I've had moments of that, when I was in school, but thankfully not amymore.

Lovely to meet you,
Areum

[jesyka]

Originally Posted by unaluna

I would not open a conversation with people who are staring, or try to "punish" them. A 14 yr old girl alone is not going to win a fight with boys or a man.

I never said to talk to them. I said to give them the death stare or to walk away. And using a scarf as a cover up might help some.

[PixiePrincess]

Thanks everyone, it sounds like a good idea to wear some pretty scarves, and the grave stare sounds like a fun idea, haha.

It is quite hard for me to be able to tell if guys are simply being polite to me, or if they are trying to flirt with me;
I guess this is why a lot of guys sometimes say that girls can appear "stand-offish".
I often cannot feel sure if a guy is just being friendly to me in a normal way, or if he has some sort of motives behind it.
But sometimes I can sort of intuitively tell if a guy is just the friendly type, typically if I have already seen him act friendly and respectful around other people and things like that.

[jesyka]

Originally Posted by PixiePrincess

Thanks everyone, it sounds like a good idea to wear some pretty scarves, and the grave stare sounds like a fun idea, haha.

It is quite hard for me to be able to tell if guys are simply being polite to me, or if they are trying to flirt with me;
I guess this is why a lot of guys sometimes say that girls can appear "stand-offish".
I often cannot feel sure if a guy is just being friendly to me in a normal way, or if he has some sort of motives behind it.
But sometimes I can sort of intuitively tell if a guy is just the friendly type, typically if I have already seen him act friendly and respectful around other people and things like that.

You’re welcome. Trust your gut. If they ask personal questions, then they’re probably flirting with you. Even if what you feel makes no logical sense, listen to your gut please. Never ignore your gut instincts. Get away from any guy that makes you feel nervous immediately.

It just might save your life one day. Sorry to be dramatic, but I learned all of this the hard way. Please get pepper spray too & practice using it with your mouth closed at least once. Always have it in your pocket or ready to use on a keychain. You might need to use it one day like I did.

[unaluna]

Pepper spray is illegal (at her age) or requires a weapons license in her location. Maybe a screeching noise button.

[Nammu]

Pepper spray is illegal in many European countries. So please check before you do that. The best defense is self confidence. Emulating a confident person like Greta Thunberg can give you a sense of confidence. When I was in middle school there was a bully who was after me, I embraced Mr Spock, and responded as I thought he would. I never had a problem with her again. It’s hard when our bodies change. Keep confidence in yourself. Projecting ugly stares will only draw attention to you.

[jesyka]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Pepper spray is illegal (at her age) or requires a weapons license in her location. Maybe a screeching noise button.

I didn’t know that, sorry.

[jesyka]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Pepper spray is illegal in many European countries. So please check before you do that. The best defense is self confidence. Emulating a confident person like Greta Thunberg can give you a sense of confidence. When I was in middle school there was a bully who was after me, I embraced Mr Spock, and responded as I thought he would. I never had a problem with her again. It’s hard when our bodies change. Keep confidence in yourself. Projecting ugly stares will only draw attention to you.

I didn’t know that, sorry.

[PixiePrincess]

I do try to avoid being by myself, so I don't usually get into situations when I am alone with a guy I don't know or anything like that.
But of course, I can feel concerned about it every now and then, since I notice guys of all ages looking at me, and most of them are much taller and bigger than me, so I don't really have any confidence in physical defense either, unless maybe I try some self-defense class or something like that.
But it isn't really something that worries me that much, unless I end up alone with a guy that I don't know, but this is very rare.
It might happen if I go to the gym in the mornings, but the few guys who go there during those times have always been very respectful to me, and never given me any bad vibes at all;
they are generally busy with their own things, and basically say "hi" when they meet me, so I am fine with them.
Also, there are usually janitors and other people who work there, so there is that added sense of safety as well.

[Marie123]

Through out your whole life, men will probably be looking at you.....you can't be concerned about them. Dress the way you want to and ignore them. Women of all ages have men looking at them.