[teejai]

Years of having anxiety and dealing with mental health professionals tells me that many mental health professionals just don't have much of a clue about anxiety.
Especially If it's of the more insidious but less florid 'generalised' variety ie the kind that can have you feel mentally and physically drained for several hours at a time and whereby there a level of internal tension and paranoia simmering away even when you are not feeling mentally and physically wiped out.

After a while and too many deaf ears you give up trying to get through to them how it is.
Of course on the days i get to my groups the anxiety is at a more manageable level.
The more intensely anxious days it's about being too anxious to get out the door at worst or at best if necessity demands(usually if the cat is out of food/litter)trying to get in and out of the co op as fast as possible.
The barrier to that being how untogether and slowed down one can be at such a time and the perverse reality of even less checkouts than is normally the case.
They see me on the better days and either because it suits them or through a lack of understanding presume that's the way it always is.

Then in my experience, not just when it comes to anxiety ,mental health professionals extrapolate from short interactions and arrive at conclusions at odds with the more extended picture.

--

[pachyderm]

I have found that I have to do most of my dealing with and trying to understand my anxiety on my own -- sometimes using what happens with my therapist as a learning experience, but I am the one who does the work.

[Perna]

I think the higher functioning they see is the right road to take because when we have to, we get out there and do what we feel we must do, and that's what it's all about. I don't see a whole lot to understand about being more or less anxious; everyone has better and worse days or times. One wants to duplicate the better times as much as possible I think. Sometimes practice is all it takes; if we bought cat food, a can a day, buying cat food would eventually not be anxiety provoking. A lot of anything is habit I think.

[teejai]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Perna said:
I think the higher functioning they see is the right road to take because when we have to, we get out there and do what we feel we must do, and that's what it's all about. I don't see a whole lot to understand about being more or less anxious; everyone has better and worse days or times. One wants to duplicate the better times as much as possible I think. Sometimes practice is all it takes; if we bought cat food, a can a day, buying cat food would eventually not be anxiety provoking. A lot of anything is habit I think.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Sometimes the degree of 'higher functioning' can be deceptively illusory though especially if you fall into the situation of being perceived as 'highly intelligent' and yet within that you have specific cognitive difficulties that tend to get dismissed or overlooked but which impact negatively on your ability to cope with and perform in certain situations

Often people look at your generalised intelligence and see you as being more able to 'function' and do things than you actually can.
The problem being that you then don't get much help to be more functional and end up being perceived as passive aggressive and lazy if you fail to match up to expectations; which in turn makes you feel more frustrated and lacking in self esteem.

[Perna]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
teejai said:
Often people look at your generalised intelligence and see you as being. . .

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> No fair getting into other peoples' heads and deciding for them what they see or believe. You have to ask them; you don't get to make up your own rules about other people and how they feel and relate to you or the world, only on how you want to relate (or not) to them.

[teejai]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Perna said:
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
teejai said:
Often people look at your generalised intelligence and see you as being. . .

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> No fair getting into other peoples' heads and deciding for them what they see or believe. You have to ask them; you don't get to make up your own rules about other people and how they feel and relate to you or the world, only on how you want to relate (or not) to them.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I feel invalidated, hurt and triggered by your comments. You seem to be denying the very real experiences i have had.
To say i am 'making up rules' is insensitive and completely out of order .

Now i feel like i shouldn't have bothered to post today and too scared/upset to post further.
Sometimes it's just better to bottle things up and say nothing than to open up and be hurt and invalidated.

It'll be safer if i refrain from posting.

[pachyderm]

You have a right to post whatever you need to.

[HALLIEBETH87]

you may post what you wish, love.

Hug

[Fuzzybear]

[gimmeice]

(((((((((((((Teejai)))))))))))))

[Stiv]

What I think needs to happen is to go to a University hospital that has staff of all manner of mental heath subspecialties just like the board has different forums.

Obviously a GP type or even just a psychologist is going to short change you're treatm,ent options and your words will mean more to someone with real knowledge and expeience with anxiety. If you don't like one MD then find one until you feel benefit.

This issue took time to fully develope and it may take longer to resolve itself in a manner that helps. The reality is though you have to be your own best advocate and if you truly want resolution ( though frustrating and difficult at times) you're going to have to find some resolve and be determined.

Good luck~Stiv

[teejai]

It's not that easy to do in the UK. Even if you ask to change your pdoc you just get unilaterally assigned another one and getting more 'specialised' help depends on a pdoc accepting you have a problem beyond his/her area of 'expertise' and referring you to an appropriate source of help.

[Cyran0]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
teejai said:
Sometimes the degree of 'higher functioning' can be deceptively illusory though especially if you fall into the situation of being perceived as 'highly intelligent' and yet within that you have specific cognitive difficulties that tend to get dismissed or overlooked but which impact negatively on your ability to cope with and perform in certain situations

Often people look at your generalised intelligence and see you as being more able to 'function' and do things than you actually can.
The problem being that you then don't get much help to be more functional and end up being perceived as passive aggressive and lazy if you fail to match up to expectations; which in turn makes you feel more frustrated and lacking in self esteem.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

So, if I might, I'd like to summarize this as saying "smart people hide their anxiety better, seem more capable, and subsequently don't get the same level of attention/care." Is that what you're saying?

If so, I get that. I'm known for my intelligence, creativity, and communication skills. So to the world, and to mental health professionals, I usually seem to be functioning better than I really am. It's tough and so I work hard to make my therapist aware of this problem by saying things like, "just because I articulate my thoughts well doesn't mean I don't feel crippled by them" or "it's safe to assume I'm usually only showing about a tenth of what I'm actually feeling." This helps because my therapist then knows that I'm minimizing everything to get by.

But you should also appreciate that your intelligence is a great strength and it is helping you get by. Imagine how much worse your life would be without that asset. Try to be grateful for it and disclose what you need to in order to get the care you need.

Cyran0

[teejai]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Cyran0 said:

So, if I might, I'd like to summarize this as saying "smart people hide their anxiety better, seem more capable, and subsequently don't get the same level of attention/care." Is that what you're saying?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Not exactly. Thought it may be true that 'smart' people can indeed hide their anxiety better or perhaps utilise mechanisms that would give the impression ,alibi illusory, that anxiety isn't much of an issue.

I would define myself as 'erratically intelligent' as opposed to 'smart' or not
'smart'.
The mental health professionals i see for short periods at a time have got me pegged as 'highly intelligent' (their words)because in that short period of time certain attributes are to the fore and more readily noticeable ie a high verbal intelligence and the fact i'm quite knowledgeable.
Coupled with that high verbal intelligence is a decidely lower non verbal intelligence/performance intelligence with barely average(and that's being liberal)visuospatial abilities and problems of an executive functioning nature(organising and planning).
For example when it comes to executive functioning i have great difficulty planning how to do something that requires a multi step approach.
When you are 'erratically intelligent' as i am it gets very frustrating and demoralising when expectations are based on your intellectual strong points to the exclusion of your weak points.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Cyran0 said:
If so, I get that. I'm known for my intelligence, creativity, and communication skills. So to the world, and to mental health professionals, I usually seem to be functioning better than I really am. It's tough and so I work hard to make my therapist aware of this problem by saying things like, "just because I articulate my thoughts well doesn't mean I don't feel crippled by them" or "it's safe to assume I'm usually only showing about a tenth of what I'm actually feeling." This helps because my therapist then knows that I'm minimizing everything to get by.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I don't have a therapist. Last 'therapy' i had was over a year ago and very belatedly(ie 35+ years from developing such issues and the recognition of such to the point of offering help) for my anxiety/social anxiety issues.

Almost straight off even before she told me that i needed 'intensive therapy' she told me she wasn't qualified as such and could only do a sticking plaster job.

She tried a CBT approach which i found hard due to critical thinking difficulties but which she chose to see as my having a negative mindset.
This being despite my making a point of attending every session with her.
After a while she dropped the bombshell that she was, in her words,a member of a religious group.
Not long after that i collated a load of stuff to enable her to understand me
re the anxiety etc.
She took exception due to her religious sensibilities to one sentence out of 30 odd pages of collated stuff, in as chronological an order as i could manage, and reported me to my care co ordinator.

Next thing,very conveniently,she went on holiday for three weeks and then she was due back i was told her workload had been reduced and i had been dropped.

Since then not a sniff of therapy.

The only other time i was offered help for the anxiety was eight or so years ago and was something that i couldn't realistically take up . Let's just say it would have involved travelling somewhere that was unfamiliar and out the way for me and any possible benefits would have been negated by the anxiety and panic that would have induced.
I did ask if i could be seen at a mental health centre closer to home but that fell on deaf ears.
Several years a new mh centre opened about 3-4 minutes from the tower block i live in which doesn't present such difficulties for me.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Cyran0 said:
But you should also appreciate that your intelligence is a great strength and it is helping you get by. Imagine how much worse your life would be without that asset. Try to be grateful for it and disclose what you need to in order to get the care you need.

Cyran0

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

To disclose is easier said than done given the amount of face to face interaction i get with a mental heath professional and that aside, even when there is the means of disclosing, having it taken on board is a whole different kettle of fish.

[(JD)]

Not much work can be accomplished in therapy on those truly bad days, so if you are short on visits, it is best they see you on the better days. I wonder though, how it is they know them? Sometimes it is the attitude of the patient that causes it to be a "better" day... that being they realize there is someone who cares and they are getting to go see them that day!

I hope your discontent lessens some in the near future.

[splitimage]

I find I have to be very explicit about my anxiety levels with my various mental health care providers. My anxiety is generalized and mainly manifests itself as physical symptoms that are highly uncomfortable for me, but do not in general interfere with my functioning. All my various Dr's have me classed as high functioning (Thank God for meds) but they do tend to downplay the anxiety part. My addictions Dr. get's my anxiety levels the best of all my health care providers, but she's not my prescribing Dr., that's my pdoc who has me on clonazapam but at a very strictly monitored dosage due to my addictions history.