[cantstopcrying]

If you've read any of my past posts, you know I am swamped at work, working horribly long hours, doing every job possible in the office and it is stressing me out something fierce. We recently hired a new front desk girl who is 61, has no front desk experience but has been a manager and a medical biller. In talking with "my" doctor (the doctor at work that I deal with) he commented on how she is very overqualified and she's better suited for management rather than front desk. I said I didn't want to talk about that because then I start worrying whether I will still have a job. He stated that I will always have a job (relief). Today, my manager called me and stated that she is going to move some things around out front and this new person do other things. Things that she used to give me to do but are (her words) "more menial", such as doing the mail, making meeting appointments for the doctors, etc. I've been in charge of the company christmas party and holiday wine tasting open house for the past three years; now she is wanting to give that task to the new person. I should be happy because it's one thing off my plate, but I'm shaking. The negative part of me--the part that always seems to rear its head--is saying "you are slowly being replaced because as always you are worthless", "you are a loser". Those are going over and over in my mind. I almost messaged her back and said it's ok, that I can do the parties this year and next year she can have them; but it will be better stress-wise if I do give them up. But not emotional wise. Another part of it is the perfectionism of me--I can do it and do it right. "She won't do it right" is going through my mind, but is it "right" or is it "like me"? God I hate my mind. Why won't it shut off, be willing to release some smaller things and not take it as a personal attack? Why am I so defective that an offer of help is seen as "I'm not good enough"? Stupid mind.

[gimmeice]

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I can understand the feeling of not wanting to be replaced and how our minds seem to conspire against us at times. You are not a loser, please remember that you are an important and nice person and that you matter. I hope in time that you will find the new adjustments helpful so maybe work will be a little less stressful.

[darkrunner]

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I agree with gimmeice.
i can understand why it is stressful for you.
If they are giving your responsibilities to this other person, are they giving you new responsibilities? Is there a new task that you could ask for, that you think might be a challenge for you?
Your boss might think it is a good show of initiative if you talked to him about it, saying now that you have these tasks off your plate, you would be happy to help him with x, y, z.

You AREN'T defective. You are a valuable important person.
Please be kind to yourself.
sending and happy thoughts,
ktgirl

[cantstopcrying]

Thank you both very much!! I know some of the more "menial" tasks are being taken away because, as research administrator, they are wanting information on how to become a full-fledge research foundation and everyone knows that if someone else is in charge of developing a foundation and I'm the administrator, that won't go over well with the doctor. So basically my duties are being shifted...which is fine, it just bugs me that it wasn't even discussed with me and I am the type of person who thinks you don't have to take anything away from me, I can handle it all, just gimme gimme gimme to prove I'm worthy. I'm going to Boston on Halloween for two days for a conference about one of our studies (ok, the conference is actually a 4 hour meeting, but I get to be there for 2 days!) so I'm hoping that this time away from everything will be good for me!

[darkrunner]

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It sounds like they already KNOW you are worthy.
Just do your best at the responsibilities you have,
and I'm sure you will continue to please and impress your boss.

It is hard, but try to be positive.
You are smart, talented and conscientious.
Your boss is grateful to have an employee like you.

kt

[thelostone]

take it from someone who has been there, you can do it all, for a time. then you can crash and burn. i had a nervous breakdown and can't leave the house now. i crashed 2 years ago. they are offering help. if you can't give up control, just have her report things to you for approval. i look back and if i had had someone to help, but that i got to teach to do it my way, i may not have crashed so hard.

good luck and take care
lost