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#1
Feb 02, 2009, 02:10 PM
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Hi Everyone
   This morning we were doing group work and answering questions in class. I gave an answer to a question that another group read aloud to the class and this particular group of "ladies" laughed at my answer that I gave. I cannot stop obessing about it. I have tried to remind myself that they were laughing at the answer not me...and I have tried to find the humour in the answer I gave...and yes it was humourous. But I still feel embarrassed (excuse my spelling!) and want to figuratively slap the "ladies" that laughed at my answer. Why did they have to carry on and laugh so much at the answer I gave. Yes, it was humourous but did they have to laugh to the point they were in tears? I know I am probably over reacting....but I just feel embarrassed and feel like I was being teased as well. Any suggestions? Advice? How do I not let what they said and did bother me so much?
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#2
Feb 02, 2009, 02:16 PM
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You've taken the first positive step and that is separating the laughter at the answer--because it was funny--and laughing at you for giving the answer, which they didn't do, right?
It's hard in those situations to separate that, but you've done it, now you just have to convince yourself of it. Confirm in your mind that you did nothing wrong or to be embarrassed about. Reconfirm it. Look at the answer and see if someone else had given the answer if you would have found it funny and possibly laughed. Then look at the "ladies" that were laughing...are they immature...are they rude...are they humorous? Try to look at these different things and see if you are able to lower your anxiety. Well done on answering, btw!!
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut 
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 Zen888
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#3
Feb 02, 2009, 02:32 PM
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Zen, I think that it is very important to be able to laugh. You admit it was humorous. If we prohibit humor, what are we doing? Could you have laughed too? Sometimes we do get embarrassed. Being embarrassed is okay. Who ever said it was a crime???????? We laugh at each other in our family and make fun of each other in gentle ways. Many times we are almost rolling on the floor with laughter. I admit, when you are anxious it is hard to lighten up (been there, done that). Working on this issue is well worth the effort. I can laugh with the rest of them now and on occasion if I do get embarrassed I don't make a big deal out of it at all. Embarrassment is a natural reaction sometimes otherwise we wouldn't have the ability to do it..........
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| Zen888
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#4
Feb 02, 2009, 09:52 PM
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if that happened 2 me i would selharm
sorry im not helpful
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#5
Feb 03, 2009, 12:33 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| Zen888
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#6
Feb 03, 2009, 01:11 PM
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I still can't let go what happened in class yesterday. I'm stressed out and anxious.
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#7
Feb 03, 2009, 01:13 PM
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go through it with us. somebody read a question and you gave an answer, then people laughed. But go through any comments that were made, any at all, the laughter and how you felt during it.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#8
Feb 03, 2009, 01:52 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#9
Feb 03, 2009, 01:53 PM
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The answer had to do with OCD and physical care. I suggested in my answer using positive self-talk, such as "the tiolet is clean" and the "school is safe".
The tiolet comment had them laughing to the point they were in tears and repeating the phrase. We were in groups sharing our answers with each other and adding to our own answers what we missed. And one of my group members went over to this other group and shared some of my answers with them. What has me fuming and not able to focus/sleep is the fact my answers were shared with a group of ladies that then laughed at my answers. I tried all night to sleep and I couldnt. My heart is pounding and my thoughts are racing. Second issue... We exchanged e-mail addresses within our group. I didn't get one of the e-mail addresses for a group member directly from her. I found it on a group e-mail sent to me by another group member. Without thinking I copied and pasted this person's e-mail address and sent her an e-mail asking nicely if she could forward me her answers. I realize it was inappropriate and I should have asked permission to e-mail her (use her e-mail address...etc.). So, finally this morning I e-mailed her to apologize for not asking her permission to e-mail her. Thoughts are racing through my head like: she will be angry with me and not want to talk to me....etc. _______________ Can someone please set me straight? Advice and comments welcomed!
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#10
Feb 03, 2009, 02:08 PM
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The toilet is clean comment is absolutely appropriate in talking about OCD. The fact that they found it so funny shows a very low maturity level. The fact that a classmate walked over and shared it with them shows zero respect. Is there any chance you would be up to talking to that person and saying, "listen, I'm still trying to feel comfortable in this class and when you shared my answer with them, it really made me uncomfortable,"? I know it will be hard, but people like that have no idea it bothers anyone until they are told about it.
Don't stress over the second issue. If you were supposed to get her email address anyway, she would have no way of knowing you didn't get it and had to get it off another email. Relax, dear friend. Let your mind take you someplace calm and quiet. You have done nothing wrong, nothing to stress about.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#11
Feb 03, 2009, 02:20 PM
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Yes, this person disrespected you. What do you want to do about it? Do you want to talk more about feeling disrespected? I agree with CSC that the emailing doesn't sound like a problem.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#12
Feb 03, 2009, 03:17 PM
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Next class I think I'll just say to her or anyone that I prefer if my answers are not shared with another group.
But how do I say this in a manner that is piolite and doesn't stop her from sharing her answers since we are in the same group? |
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#13
Feb 04, 2009, 12:05 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#14
Feb 04, 2009, 12:58 PM
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Yes, it is hard for me to voice my needs and wants to others. I fear rejection and being teased for lack of a better word.
If you have any "baby steps" ways of asserting my needs/wants please tell me. |
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#15
Feb 04, 2009, 01:15 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#16
Feb 10, 2009, 08:23 PM
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was this a college class? If so, they should be more mature than that |
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#17
Feb 11, 2009, 12:05 PM
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Yes, this was in college!
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#18
Feb 11, 2009, 03:59 PM
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Laugh when you get the better grade. Laugh cuz you don't care. Laugh cuz you are funny and like yourself. Don't dwell on this. It wasn't a personal attack against you from the sound of it, so don't internalize it.
__________________
--SIMCHA |
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