[Gabby2007]

I've been away from the forums for a long time...not intentional, but 'time' just passes. Here's the current deal though:

My husband (of 20 years) just won an all expense paid cruise in the Caribbean through a contest at his work...and since I'm too much of a wreck to go with him, and he doesn't want to go alone (and none of our three teens are 18 yet), he ended up giving the trip to his boss.

See, both my parents died, together, in an airplane crash when I was ten....it was the first trip Momma went on with Daddy. So yes, it's understandable that I'd be a bit post traumatic about it...and anxious or way overprotective about traveling with my husband.

I'm so tired of simply 'understanding' ~ I want to move away from this, to dealing with it, to being able to travel without being so superstitious about death, and telling myself

if we go together on this cruise, the boat will sink and we'll orphan our three young teens.

tips to get past the talking part and further along in the 'dealing' part?

I do so much want to bless my husband and I feel terrible guilt about not going (he's being wonderfully understanding about it). I promised him if he wins another trip on land, we can take back to back flights and yes, I'm there, but could I really do that?

honestly, staying home doesn't ensure I'll not die. ugh ugh ugh.

awww(((gabby))))) so sorry about your loss of your parents that young.
Do you have a T or a Dr you can talk to
Thats alot for a young person to go threw imo
did you read the PTSD forum that may help alot...
your husband sounds very understanding ((good for him)))
take it slow one step at a time
muffy

[gimmeice]

(((((((((((( Gabby )))))))))))))))

I agree with Muffy maybe a therapist could help you work out a plan to overcome this, probably starting with small steps.

[Gabby2007]

Originally Posted by muffy

awww(((gabby))))) so sorry about your loss of your parents that young.
Do you have a T or a Dr you can talk to
Thats alot for a young person to go threw imo
did you read the PTSD forum that may help alot...
your husband sounds very understanding ((good for him)))
take it slow one step at a time
muffy

hi Muffy,
yes, my husband's just the best, it's frustrating though, becuase of all the therapy I've gone through, it doesn't seem to 'help' in this situation, nor could I get right back in to talk my way through this situation.\

I'll check out the PTSD forum also, that's a big one for me.thanks.

[Gabby2007]

Originally Posted by gimmeice

(((((((((((( Gabby )))))))))))))))

I agree with Muffy maybe a therapist could help you work out a plan to overcome this, probably starting with small steps.

hi Gimmeice,
am I doing this reply right?

I love the idea of small steps, rather than bam a whole week on a boat in a different country, why not plug in other smaller goals? like that?

thanks.

Originally Posted by Gabby2007

hi Muffy,
yes, my husband's just the best, it's frustrating though, becuase of all the therapy I've gone through, it doesn't seem to 'help' in this situation, nor could I get right back in to talk my way through this situation.\

I'll check out the PTSD forum also, that's a big one for me.thanks.

((Gabby)))))) I am glad he is so understanding. What you have been threw is alot
Just do the best you can .....as I said one step at a time
wishing you the best
Muffy

[gimmeice]

Originally Posted by Gabby2007

hi Gimmeice,
am I doing this reply right?

I love the idea of small steps, rather than bam a whole week on a boat in a different country, why not plug in other smaller goals? like that?

thanks.

Yes you are doing the reply right. Small goals of any type will probably help with this situation, with the traveling issue have you tried going on weekend trips with just your husband? You could start out small with trips in which you two drive somewhere and work your way up to flying and then at some point maybe you could get up to going on longer trips.

[Gabby2007]

Originally Posted by gimmeice

Yes you are doing the reply right. Small goals of any type will probably help with this situation, with the traveling issue have you tried going on weekend trips with just your husband? You could start out small with trips in which you two drive somewhere and work your way up to flying and then at some point maybe you could get up to going on longer trips.

what I am hearing is to make a plan of baby steps, this cruise I didn't see coming to plan steps to lead there...

don't think I could ever go on an airplane ride with my husband...maybe back to back flights, but not with just him...that's how my parents died and I dont' think I want to face that.