[lifelesstraveled]

She says that my memory and concentration should have improved with my mood while on the anti-d's and they have not.

Part of me thinks she is wrong because I have never been overly hyper. But I do remember when I was in school teachers would call on me to answer a question (I never volunteered to answer questions) and I would stare blankly at the teacher and not have an answer because I didn't have one. I was never really paying attention or following along with the lesson. I always felt like I was an idiot because I couldn't answer the questions. It was at that point I knew something was wrong, but of course i didn't say anything and of course continued to suffer. I have no clue how i made it thru high school with a B average and college with a C average.

I have a tendency to jump from one project to another and nothing EVER gets done. My mind is drifty at work and my brain feels full of thoughts that bounce around like crazy. It's hard for me to focus on lengthy directions that are given to me if they are not written down. I am very forgetful and disorganized--my car is a mess, my room can never stay organized and clean for more than two days, my purse is a mess. I lose things ALLL the time. I lost several items of mine in a span of two or three days (my flashdrive, bluetooth...and something else, but I can't remember). My friend told me he notices how I jump from topic to topic during conversations or how I could be in the middle of saying something and something else will catch my attention or eye and i will move on to talking about that. i notice that even when Im laying in my bed trying to fall asleep I usually have to wiggle my feet or toes. IDK...I always thought this was anxiety.

AND My T says she never got that from me during our sessions. I think it's because I try REALLY hard to stay focused. Sometimes I do miss what she says and have to have her repeat herself.

What happens during one of these evaluations? Am I going to have to stop seeing my T and start seeing this new ADHD T or can I see him in conjunction with my current T?

[SophiaG]

Why dont you ask your therapist? :P

It sounds like you have ADHD inattentive type.

[buttrfli42481]

You sound just like me. I have not been diagnosed, but my daughter has (she is ADHD combined type). My problems in school were tossed off as my being gifted. I soak up information the first time I hear/see it, and don't see the point in learning anymore about it. I started this school year (sophomore in college) with a 4.0 and now it is down to a 1.5, because I can't get my head in the game. I jump from one thing to another in conversations. My friends get lost trying to keep up with my conversations, and often I do too. My room, well lets just say I think it has carpet. lol The only time it was clean was when I moved in. I have all intentions of having a clean room, just can't stay focused on one project at a time. It drives me crazy that it isn't clean, I have OCD too. I will start cleaning and then find something that isn't "perfect" in that spot and then have to get it perfect and it ends up being a never ending circle. Too top off all of that, I also suffer from major depression, complex PTSD, and have anxiety/panic attacks. I forgot where I was going with this. Oh yeah, I have to move my foot to get to sleep too. My brain doesn't stop, it is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going and going and going... Unless I take something to help me sleep, which is about every night, otherwise I don't go to sleep. I am quite the mess. I have been considering talking to my psychiatrist about the possibility of me having ADHD, but don't really want to be on more meds. I am on a total of 3 anti-depressants, metformin for PCOS (those I take all the time), and right now I am also on tylenol 3 w/ codine, naproxen, and anti-nausea meds(slightly allergic to codine) for my broken foot.
Sorry I am all over the place. I hope you find the answers you are looking for. Know that you are not alone.

[nellbells]

(((lifelesstraveled))) I can relate all too well. My biggest fear in school was being called on by the teacher because my mind went blank and I didnt want to look like a fool in front of all the other students. I wiggle my feet in bed as I fall asleep too (I hadn't really thought of that as a possible symptom until you mentioned it). I also tell myself stories to fall asleep: ones that evolve around being wrapped in a comforter and feeling really tired, otherwise my mind will go from one thought to another, and i'll never get any sleep.
I'm also undiagnosed. I have been tested for ADHD but I won't know the results until Dec. 10. I think you should explain to your T (if you haven't already) that you want to be tested for ADHD. They should be able to help you navigate that process, even if they don't agree with your decision. I wish you the best of luck! Keep us posted!

[lifelesstraveled]

**update**

Why is it SOOO hard to find someone to evaluate me??? I mean my T said that it would be difficult being an Adult and trying to get tested and evaluated because sometimes insurance companies don't want to deal with it, which is fine because i am willing to pay out of pocket for the eval if need be, but I can't even get ONE person to call me back! One woman, a T, who I emailed,called me because she had more questions regarding the info I gave her and suggested I look for psychiatrists, but I have emailed and called several and still NOTHING.....i need this done ASAP. I just got a new job and I don't want to screw it up due to my inability to perform my tasks at the highest possible standards/what is expected of me. .. guess I will keep looking...

[nellbells]

**update**

Why is it SOOO hard to find someone to evaluate me??? I mean my T said that it would be difficult being an Adult and trying to get tested and evaluated because sometimes insurance companies don't want to deal with it, which is fine because i am willing to pay out of pocket for the eval if need be, but I can't even get ONE person to call me back! One woman, a T, who I emailed,called me because she had more questions regarding the info I gave her and suggested I look for psychiatrists, but I have emailed and called several and still NOTHING.....i need this done ASAP. I just got a new job and I don't want to screw it up due to my inability to perform my tasks at the highest possible standards/what is expected of me. .. guess I will keep looking...

Your T sounds very unhelpful. Isn't there someone they know to refer you to? Maybe I'm being a little harsh in my judgement, but I can feel the frustration in your post, pretty much radiates off the screen. It's understandable, not being able to focus in a world that reacts most unkindly to the disorganized is frustrating. I was recently tested as an adult for ADHD by a PhD who was still going through the process of being licensed which means he's in need for hours in a bad way. I may be jumping to conclusions but my suggestion is to look for a provider around a college town to do the testing (if at all possible). You may have better luck. You could find a doctoral student who needs practicum hours or maybe you'll find a provider who's knowledgeable about adult ADHD due to proximity of the university and working with adult college students who have ADHD. Best of luck! I hope you get some answers.