My niece...what do you think?

I have a brother that is four, and a niece that is turning seven next month. For the past two weeks my parents have had both of the kids on a trip upstate, and my mom was ready to pull her hair out by the time they got home. My little brother is no angel, but he minds most of the time. My niece, however, was pretty hard to deal with. Though she's almost seven, she doesn't always act her age. She was constantly hitting my brother, or spitting at him. When something would go wrong she would blame him automatically, even if he wasn't in the room. She says things that are hurtful, even to an adult (to my sister she said "I remember when you were skinny and had a job."), and she is constantly negative. I could give more specific examples, but it would be too much to read.

It's strange to me that a kid that's not even seven could be so mean-spirited and negative. My mom and I have been trying to think of reasons why she is so difficult. Since she is also constantly rowdy, fidgety and talks non-stop, and since she rarely ever minds, even after being told four or five times, we were wondering if she might have ADHD. I don't really have any experience with it, and was wondering if I could have some input. I know that ADHD is often over-diagnosed in kids her age, but she is acting more like my four year old brother than a seven year old girl. Since her parents let her behavior go unchecked (her nickname is Princess, and he daddy told her she is perfect), maybe it would do her good to look into this. Thanks everyone.

My personal opion from what you said about her nickname and the fact that your nieces father told her she is perfect is that she probably does not have ADD or ADHD but she is simply spoiled by her parents. I mean no offense to her parents or her by saying this.. Also is your niece an only child? Does she always blame other people for things that she does wrong or is only when there are other children present? Since she is about 7 she probably picked up the hurtful things she says from people that are around her, perhaps her mother, father, Teacher, or TV that she watches. the talking alot and rowdiness are some symptoms of ADD and ADHD however i personally don't think that she does. If her parents or you and your mother feel that she should be screened for ADD/ADHD it isn't a waste of time. But Like you said it does get over-diagnosed in people her age.
I hope everything works out for you,
-Jason

If the parents are encouraging the behavior you are going to be hard pressed to change it. As a teacher, I've learned if the parents aren't behind changing the child's behavior it will not happen. Parents are a child's biggest influence (in most cases). It will be even more difficult if the parent(s) are encouraging the behavior.

I hope things work out for the best. Good luck!

with Jason. It does sound to me like she might just be spoiled. It is hard to say exactly though ,since we aren't able to see her and also, I'm not a professional in this matter.

I can imagine how frustrated and tired your mother must have been. Kids like that take a lot of energy out of adults!
In addition to ADHD- your family might want to look into Asperger's Syndrome-- there are mild cases-- in which a child is functional-- just out of step socially--they're rowdy, can't seem to follow rules, say and do inappropriate things-- just a thought!

Anyway-- good luck with your niece!

Mandy

Well, my neice isn't an only child. She has two brothers, one older and one younger. She does tend to blame a lot of things on her brothers, and most of the time I think her parents believe her. Personally, I also think she's pretty spoiled, but I don't think she's treated much differently than her brothers, and they don't do half of the things she does. I'm not sure what I think. I DO know that her parents need to take a greater interest in how she's behaving, because I don't see things being too easy for her socially if she keeps acting this way.

As far as learning her hurtful comments from adults, well, that's what I thought at first too. I assumed that she'd heard one of her parents talking about how my sister was out of a job...but she HAS a job, and she's been working for quite a while. Also, she may not be as skinny anymore, but she had a baby less than a month ago, so I'm sure no one was talking about how fat she's gotten. I'm not sure where that comment came from, but I know my sister was a little upset.

Thanks for the input everyone.
~Sondra

Hmm, well, just my two cents. But, the boy here had problems. We were told he was "rebellious". Turns out it was major Bipolar stuff going on. But everyone was blinded to anything else because the early expert teachers/administration said it was simply rebellion. Doesn't hurt to have it checked. But, thats just my opinion and we all know how much an opinion is worth