[Queen of Chaos]

I had a real heart to heart talk with my psychiatrist today. I told her I wanted to ask two questions.

1. How would she feel, what would she do, if she KNEW she had a specific mental or physical problem but no healthcare professional would ever really listen or take her seriously? After 10 years of being prescribed antidepressants when she KNEW she needed something for ADD, how would she feel? Would she truly be depressed or just frustrated beyond words?

2. What effect would antidepressants have on a person who was beyond frustrated BUT NOT DEPRESSED?

She seemed to listen and I appreciated having her attention. I think she got my point. She instantly moved into discussing the two forms of ADHD. After all the appointments I've tried to talk about ADD and been re-routed to depression, we were finally talking about my inattentiveness, my total lack of organizational skills, my inability to focus, etc. The joy I felt was overwhelming - I felt like I finally had someone's attention!

The doctor prescribed the smallest dose of Vyvance which I'll start tomorrow morning. I don't have a clue what to expect but the literature scares me a little bit - I have slight hyperthyroidism which (according to my cardiologist) causes mild blood pressure and heart rate problems. The psychiatrist is aware of this so I hope/assume she thinks it is safe. My thyroid nodules are growing in number and size and surgery is probably in my future but I'm O.K. with medication for the time being.

I'm used to taking my blood pressure a couple of times a day - it'll be interesting to see if a stimulant drug affects me adversely OR calms me. Back when I was on Adderal, my blood pressure, etc., was perfect. I believe (but time may prove me wrong) the frustration I feel from my ADD problems may actually contribute to my blood pressure being elevated.

I don't know if I can fall asleep tonight. I feel like I'm waiting for Santa Claus, I have such anticipation to see if this drug gives me the relief I so desperately want. I have tried for so long to get someone to listen to what I truly believe is wrong and today it happened.

[Queen of Chaos]

I enjoyed a really special day today! I was afraid I'd have side effects with the Vyvance since I do with everything else but I didn't, I felt more "normal" than I dared hope for. I've felt calm, my thoughts were clear instead of running together, I started and finished several tasks, my blood pressure is perfect...I feel happy.

Oh, lordy! I so want my life to continue to improve. I'm almost afraid to hope but I am hoping - I've enjoyed today so much and hope tomorrow will be just as normal. People who don't have attention problems probably don't realize how spectacular it feels just to do daily tasks - get dressed, run errands, cook a meal without feeling overwhelmed, THINK - T-H-I-N-K!! It feels so strange (but good) to actually think about something without two dozen other things going on in my mind.

[Lexi232]

Glad it's going well for you!
I was on Vyvanse as well, and it was a great thing to have. It helped me be me. and be able to do the things that normally would take a month if not longer to finish.. IF IT EVER WAS FINISHED!
I also was able to express myself better, and my friends often would say "gawd lexi, did you write a long enough book there?" lol!!
I'll probably be starting back up in the end of july. (i havent had it since mid decemeber).
i also would remeber things a lot better!!

[Queen of Chaos]

Originally Posted by Lexi232

Glad it's going well for you!
I was on Vyvanse as well, and it was a great thing to have. It helped me be me. and be able to do the things that normally would take a month if not longer to finish.. IF IT EVER WAS FINISHED!
I also was able to express myself better, and my friends often would say "gawd lexi, did you write a long enough book there?" lol!!
I'll probably be starting back up in the end of july. (i havent had it since mid decemeber).
i also would remeber things a lot better!!

Lexi, this is exactly how I feel. I have so totally enjoyed the past two days - not because I felt any grand sensation of energy or deep concentration but because I just did not feel lethargic, overwhelmed and lost in some kind of mental fog. Ordinarily I'm always complaining that I feel tired and overwhelmed - those two thoughts haven't crossed my mind for two glorious days.

For example, after Christmas I took everything out of our pantry and put it on the dining room table. My intention was to clean and organize the pantry. A project I started in late December...and TODAY it seemed just as natural as falling off a log to put the stuff away. It almost seems comical but it's real to me, it's the way I live.

I did have trouble falling asleep last night but I've been O.K. today. I'm also a tiny bit concerned about my blood pressure but it's nothing serious. I'm just so afraid of another disappointment, especially with a drug that seems to be exactly right, but I'm trying not to let myself go there.