i literally dont see how i can stop being a lazy *** sometimes

i want to work on my portfolio this summer thats all i care about. and even though i have all this desire to complete my (rigging) portfolio i just lose sight on many days. after days of working hard i slip back into this miserable ****ing unguided blob state. where all i want to do is play games and i dont remember about "overcoming inirtia" and "empowering thinking" i just forget. usually ill try to work on it for at least 2 hours on those days but its just such "blah" effort... if that makes any sense.

i feel like a phony. why do i do that if i care so much?

i tell myself to listen to music everyday.. (i dont know why its just my main motivation fuel) and there are days i dont because im afraid if i listen to it too much it will lose its impact. <--- a little off topic but relevant

I am in the same position. I do this alot about exercising and school stuff. I have alot of stuff to work on but even when I really buckle down and focus on getting things accomplished, it's like I can wake up and still just be sitting on the couch. I also agree with the music thing, it's actually kept me from playing and listening like I want to because I'm scared I'm going to completely lose my passion for it.

i can't figure out how to get past this either. i can't even figure out if i'm being lazy because i don't have the attention span, or because i just don't have the energy, or what the deal is. i really want to know, so i can find a way to work around it. i never get anything done anymore.

That has happened to me before, but I wouldn't really describe it as a loss of passion for music itself, I just had to rediscover it in new and exciting ways.

idgaf, any luck with motivating yourself to work on that portfolio? I understand your struggle with laziness. Seem to be going through quite a funk myself.

It is frastrating I can sit here at my computer, Listening To music well watching the computer grahics. I have to listen Techno, electronica, Trance just to feel my brain light up or sitting in front of a lightbulb (with my glasses off) since my eyes can handle that exposure (With Having stigmatism and shortsightedness in one eye the light is distorted and allows me to look at it for five minutes at a time) This helps my innattention for a short time but not all day I am an adult so this is serious with everyday responsibilities to attend too, it is not practical for me to continue this all day everyday, see my dilema. subjects I enjoy I find it hard to sit there and watch the lectures well trying to listen, my focus subsides. In the meantime the house work chores etc are left indefinately, at work I get bored even though I Love job support coaching. I get caught up looking at the time even thought my client is only at a resthome for an hour at a time to play her keyboard and sing to the elderly. she is also blind . I have alot of experience (10 years) in this area so that the blindness is not a problem. So I am feeling pretty lazi and frustrated that I struggle with everyday tasks and routines.