[Lost&confused89]

Can someone give me advice please... My boyfriend has adhd so bad (and refuses meds) that he can't even remember simple tasks... I have bipolar disorder and anxiety so im as patient as I can be but I'm so frustrated with him as a dad, and as a person because hes way old enough to remember to... Lets say shut off a light, or change a diaper, or heck, even give me the money to pay a bill when I remind him 10 times its due... Getting ANNOYED!! I love him, but I need advice!!

And my 2yr old seems to display similar symptoms. I keep wanting to take him to get checked... But my boyfriends afraid hell have to be on meds. Can I choose not to, and learn new methods?? And if so what are some?

[RonPSH]

Originally Posted by Lost&confused89

Can someone give me advice please... My boyfriend has adhd so bad (and refuses meds) that he can't even remember simple tasks... I have bipolar disorder and anxiety so im as patient as I can be but I'm so frustrated with him as a dad, and as a person because hes way old enough to remember to... Lets say shut off a light, or change a diaper, or heck, even give me the money to pay a bill when I remind him 10 times its due... Getting ANNOYED!! I love him, but I need advice!!

And my 2yr old seems to display similar symptoms. I keep wanting to take him to get checked... But my boyfriends afraid hell have to be on meds. Can I choose not to, and learn new methods?? And if so what are some?

That's me! I'm so bored with daily mundane chores and stuff. My fascination is in looking deep into life, and being creative.

Ron

Uhhh, 2 year olds don't tend to be too focused... Wouldn't worry about that. As far as methods, things like lists, and using the phone alarm set to times like waking up and going time can help. Oh wait! It just occured to me... are you asking about methods to help BF? Or kid?

If BF, like the bill pay, I find I need to do it right then. Or I will forget. They arrive, I write a check and stick it on the table to go out. Otherwise, who knows what would happen?!

[AniManiac]

Like IZ said, I wouldn't worry about the 2yo yet - it's pretty normal for toddlers to be all over the place! They call it "Terrible Twos" for a reason - toddlers are a handful (I don't know how anyone manages them...) And it's not healthy for little growing brains to be pumped full of chemicals. I'm not sure what the guidelines are for diagnosing ADHD in kids, but it seems like you might want to wait until he's about 5, and also see if he's having problems at school as that is often a good indicator. When he's older, there are doubtless techniques you can use to help him if he needs it - learning specialists would be your best asset there, often the best help you can get for kids with ADHD is through a school (aside from meds, that's another matter entirely.) IMO it is probably better to wait; also, ADHD behavior can arise from other causes, like food allergies. My cousin was allergic to Red Dye #5 and was a little hooligan until they figured it out and made sure he didn't eat any of it, then he settled right down and has been a really nice, normal guy.

Have you had any discussions with BF about why he refuses meds? There are a lot of reasons people decide against it, but in my experience there is nothing but relief in the ADHD meds. I'm a lot like that - super flaky and it drives my husband nuts - but it's also very distressing to me to have my ability to function so compromised.

Has he ever tried meds before? Could he be talked into giving it a brief try? If he did try the meds, he would know almost immediately if it helps. I have not run into anyone who has had bad side effects from ADHD meds (unless they didn't actually need them) except if you take them too late in the day or too high a dose, it can keep you up at night. Of course, there are other risks, I'm just saying I've never actually heard anyone mention having side effects.

Hope that helps - good luck!