Should I bother trying to get diagnosed?

Hi guys, I'm new here. The question of whether I should attempt to get an ADHD diagnosis has been knocking around my head for some time. I spent my life as a kid who was constantly being told by my teachers I could do better if I stopped day dreaming. And I was aware that I really could have done better in school, only I didn't know how to settle down and collect all those thoughts flying over my head. Now, my bosses tell me the same thing as well. I could not then and still cannot sit still. If I'm listening to a lecture, I have to read stuff in order to remain in the room otherwise, I'll end up drifting in and out of the room to the bathroom or fidgeting on my chair. I also have a bunch of sensory issues that make me really irritating to live with. Socially, I also have a lot of issues, I'm awkward and shy or I talk too much and too fast to people or I get distracted by what other people are saying or doing and drift off midway through a conversation.

It's really bothering me now because I want to do well in my new job so badly. I was really lucky to find a job in a field I'm very interested in and I can focus on well. But I really struggle when interacting with my colleagues or sitting in on meetings and it gets noticed. If I do have ADHD, I'd like to know and at least be able to access the medication and therapies so I stop sticking out like a sore thumb.

Hi Spire 69, welcome to PC. The best thing i did for myself was see a T and had all the test ran on me to pin point my problem. I have ADHD and being on the right meds have turned my life around. Hope this helps. Keep us posted.

Welcome to PC, Spire. It sounds like you've answered your own question - the evaluation for ADHD is pretty easy and fast, and the meds have made a huge difference for me. If the way things are going now is bothering you, then that's a good sign that you should do something about it!

Thanks for the welcome, guys. Oops, I forgot to include why I was asking the question. I'm worried doctors are going to write me off as just being another adult who is looking for an excuse as to why I fail at things. I find it very hard to talk to doctors and I don't make eye contact at all. It's led to one neurologist dismissing me instantly because I could barely stammer out why the doctor referred me to him and I couldn't make eye contact with him because there was a nurse in the room. I'm very,very socially, awkward and shy, talking to doctors make me feel like I don't really have anything wrong with me but I'm trying to make up a story. I suppose I really could use some professional help...

Well, therapy might help with that - still difficult if you're very shy or have social anxiety, but you can build up a relationship over time that might help you learn better skills for situations like that. A lot of us feel like we're faking although we're not (we just don't really know what normal is like and therefore assume what we experience is normal) and it's not unusual for people with mental illnesses or other brain disorders to question their diagnosis and disbelieve it, even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

Another strategy that could help is to write down what you need to tell your docs before you go. Then if you get all tongue-tied, you have a prompt to help you get the right message across. I do this because I often forget something that I know is important to talk about. And I've seen people on PC recommending printing out your own posts to take to a doctor or therapist, because sometimes we're better at expressing ourselves here than we are at the office. You could even just hand them a list of your symptoms and let that start the conversation, rather than trying to start by saying something that's hard for you to express.

Thanks for the tips. I did try during my neuro appointment to bring a checklist in to show the doctor but I tend to interpret most people's body language as being annoyed at me for wasting their time so I threw the list into my bag and just stammered and nearly ended up apologizing on my way out and then wondering why I even felt the need to apologize in there. I'm making an appointment with a clinic next month to get evaluated. Hopefully, that works out better.

Spire,

If you're like me, you've acquired at some point a negative self image from years and years of weird looks and rejection from the people around you.

And chances are the doctor's that treat you aren't like us and simply compare you to a list of symptoms and start trying meds and therapy.

And chances are the doctor's will tell you that the ADHD mind is defective which only makes the social rejection SEEM to validate that you're screwed for life.

ALL of this is RELATIVE to the society at large, which happens to be less authentic, less intelligent, less creative, less spontaneous, less playful that you.

You're not accepted because you're too honest, too intelligent, and too creative for others to feel comfortable around you. They are too worried about their images and authentic people like us just want to live and enjoy life, not worry about image.

If you want to try meds, then make a visit to a psychiatrist and give meds a whirl but don't listen to any talk about your "condition". You may like meds or you may not. My son tried them and didn't like not being himself.

You've got tremendous gifts, as we all do, and limits, as we all do. There's no standard to live up to except to be yourself. You can't be mainstream because you can't pretend to be less than you are. You're living in a world that first requires obedience to tradition, religion, and culture then you're "free" to be you...which means you can't be you because of the obedience requirement. When you see that you simply want to be yourself in a world that won't let you, then you're done worrying about fitting in.

Yep, we have to make a living and stuff like that but in terms of self esteem, you will no longer measure yourself by the opinions of anyone, including yourself. You'll simply see your gifts and limits and seek to live within them.

I wrote my awakening to this here and would love to hear your comments! http://www.profound-self-help.com/adhd-self-help.html

No disrespect for others' experiences, but the opposite case can also be true. Meds let me be myself again, instead of out of control.

Everyone's experiences are different!

what is a T?

T=Therapist.

Spire i understand you a lot. Do you have a relative or a maybe 1 good friend to come with you to the doctor - or could you write a letter to the doctor about your problems (including your social anxiety) - - i segues talking to a new doctor if this one is dismissing you. I know that we all might be searching for an excuse at failure at things - but first of all - you didn`t fail - you just do not realize yourself completely - and we all have a REASON for not being complete. So an excuse would be if we wanted to stay the same for all our lives but you are seeking meds. If it was as excuse you would not be going to a doc - rather saying -"i am a person with ADHD or some other inabilities. I have an excuse to not function" - and continue not functioning.....

This guilt is another issue i have faced and know so well. I agree that you might benefit from psychological therapy as well .

T = therapist
Tdoc = psychiatrist (I think) who provides therapy
pdoc = psychiatrist

Go for an eval. You might want to bring a friend for moral support. Good luck.

It's a shame that moral support is needed, but I've been the moral support for others. The shrink says with a smile that you have a permanent mental defect and that therapy and meds are needed for you to have any chance to have an inkling of a "normal" life.

And what a hit a person's already negative (and false) self image takes to hear that?

The healing is to evolve out of the need to have any image of self at all, positive or negative. Until then, life is a mind game and the mind game is only full of loser, no winners, because a life in the mind is our misery.

This is my self healing story...comments welcome

http://www.profound-self-help.com/adhd-self-help.html

I took the time to get diagnosed and found out some really interesting things about myself beyond my condition