[Jest29]

Hello. I am a mother of three boys who donot listen to what you tell them to do. They keep pushing, and pushing, and pushing, and even when you have had enough, THEY PUSH SOME MORE! How do I handle children who just won't listen, and just want to play around and do their own thing? My mother in law bought this bottle of holistic solution called, "Calm" but my husband and I have not tried it yet. It's supposed to be good for calming children down who suffer from the symptoms of ADHD.

[mortimer]

Have they actually been diagnosed with ADHD?

I don't know about that kind of thing, often times I don't even know if that stuff is regulated by the FDA. A professional opinion and help would be more safe.

[Ackman12]

Be careful with that holistic stuff.

[redbull]

Yeah just pump them full of that **** and then realize that won't solve your problems until you actually do some research of ADHD and come to the conclusion that the disability is not the kids fault

[Jest29]

well thanks for the advice. I decided not to give them the bottle of the holistic stuff... because like u said, it may do more harm than good. They were diagnosed by a psych doctor who saw them all at the same time... If that even makes sense. He just took one look at them, told me the diagnosis and tried to force me to put them on medication which I refused because they`re too young. (6,7,9)

[venusss]

Originally Posted by redbull

Yeah just pump them full of that **** and then realize that won't solve your problems until you actually do some research of ADHD and come to the conclusion that the disability is not the kids fault

fault shmault.

My aunt is a psychologist and even she claims ADHD was once genuine diagnosis and now it's an excuse to be a brat.

Look, kids need to learn to behave and control their temper, ADHD or not. THey just need the right approach.

And I would not trust anybody who makes diagnosis after one look.

[nicoleb2]

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

fault shmault.

My aunt is a psychologist and even she claims ADHD was once genuine diagnosis and now it's an excuse to be a brat.

ADHD CAN still be a valid diagnosis. My daughter very obviously has ADHD. She was not diagnosed after just one look though. My husband and I had to fill out questionaires about her behavior, as did her school teacher, and like 4 other people that knew her well and saw her often at that time. NONE of us discussed the questionaires before we filled them out.

[venusss]

Originally Posted by nicoleb2

ADHD CAN still be a valid diagnosis. My daughter very obviously has ADHD. She was not diagnosed after just one look though. My husband and I had to fill out questionaires about her behavior, as did her school teacher, and like 4 other people that knew her well and saw her often at that time. NONE of us discussed the questionaires before we filled them out.

It can, but sadly many think it's something one cannot do anything about in every single aspect of their behaviour and if they are little terrors, everybody has to put up with 'em because they have "disability".

[nicoleb2]

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

It can, but sadly many think it's something one cannot do anything about in every single aspect of their behaviour and if they are little terrors, everybody has to put up with 'em because they have "disability".

I totally agree! My daughter doesn't get that chance though. She gets reminders frequently that her behavior is always HER choice, and she needs to make good choices. If she makes bad choices, she has consequences.

ADHD is totally not an excuse to be an out of control monster.

[venusss]

That is great to hear.

ADHD kids might have more difficult time controlling themselves.... but that is why they need to try even harder. I thinking that cutting them too much slack because of their issues.... however well-meant it might be - will end up being counterproductive.

And as much as I never raised children, I worked with them a lot.... all children are difficult beings. It's called being... children. No child is born with knowing how to behave, even if they are perfectly normal. It's all about learning. Observing the set of norms of interaction is skill like every others... and if one doesn't learn it, they will have hard time in the future.

I am not saying parents should be harsh on their children, but they need to set rules and boundaries. They will need it in the future.

[ColorRed]

Hi Jest29! Sounds like you've really got your hands full! Keeping up with three young boys is hard enough- I can only imagine what a challenge it is to be dealing with ADHD on top of everything else. You mentioned that they had all been diagnosed together, and I'm wondering, other than prescribing medication (and I completely understand how you're hesitant to go that route!), did the doc make any effort to direct you to information that would help you to better understand ADHD and how to manage it with your boys? I came across some articles that I wanted to mention to you - just search ADHD on the Focus on the Family website - thought this might be helpful as a place to start. I also know from having worked with this organization that they are a great source of all kinds of parenting resources. A book that came to mind as I read your post is Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours, by Dr. Kevin Leman - a little humor with lots of very practical suggestions. Hope this helps... Hang in there

[ColorRed]

Hi Jest29! Sounds like you’ve really got your hands full! Keeping up with three young boys is challenging enough and then to add ADHD on top of that. You mentioned that they had all been diagnosed together, and I’m wondering, other than medication (and I completely understand how you’re hesitant to go that route!), did your doc direct you to any other information that would help you to better understand and manage ADHD with your boys? I came across some articles that I wanted to share with you – just search ADHD on the Focus on the Family website – thought this might be a good place to start. I know from having worked with this organization that they are a great source of all kinds of parenting advice and resources. A book came to mind as I read your post – Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours, by Dr, Kevin Leman – a little humor and lots of good practical suggestions J - hope this helps… Hang in there!

[-jimi-]

No one can diagnose ADHD by just a glance. That is nonsense.

On the other hand, I would ask the kid to behave to their own limit. I'm not saying cut them too much slack, but what they are told to do must be within range for them. Or they will think they cannot do anything right and go right in an oppositional state and do everything wrong because at least then they have control...

[MasonsMommy2005]

Originally Posted by Jest29

well thanks for the advice. I decided not to give them the bottle of the holistic stuff... because like u said, it may do more harm than good. They were diagnosed by a psych doctor who saw them all at the same time... If that even makes sense. He just took one look at them, told me the diagnosis and tried to force me to put them on medication which I refused because they`re too young. (6,7,9)

My son went through several different testings before they were settled on him having ADHD. I would not have been happy if it was walk in to a room and the doctor said "yep they have it."