[clairebear2k6]

Hi I am new here and hoping to pick some adhd brains... if that's ok. i'll be gentle : )

I am worried so much for my son. He is five years old and in year 1 of our local state school. It is a lovely school, but we are having very many problems with his behaviour and I am concerned he may end up being excluded or at the very least rejected by his peers and their parents.

We do not have a diagnosis for him, having been in 'the system' with his community paediatrician since age 2. He has been tested for autism using ADOS and this came back as not autistic. This being said, he has some traits - repetitive behaviours, sensory sensitivities, easily upset, flops on floor and is unresponsive as if zoned out, communication problems (language and social). However, he is not scorable on ADOS for autism. Looking at ADHD, he scores as the combined type (according to my answers on the vanderbilt scale) for inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness. We have always wondered if he is ADHD but the community paed refuses to formally assess for this until age 7! what!!!!????

His assessments have shown he is on the 1st percentile for core language skills (receptive and expressive) so basically you cannot so any worse than this score. He has a history of social communication problems and developmental delay. He is also quite defiant - and worryingly does not seem to learns from mistakes. SO he just keeps doing the wrong things over and over - as if he cannot think ahead to the consequence that will come, and then when he does get the consequence, he really gets upset and starts hitting himself in the head and head bangs the floor.

So he is a mix of lots of problem behaviours. His school say he is special needs, and want to get him a statement. Our first request for one was denied. They have had to physically pick him up and move him out of the playground and other places because he just refuses to move. He touches other children too much and inappropriately eg stroking a boys hair or standing too close or touching noses intensely, and he kinda scares other kids with his random impulsiveness - like he waves his arms around suddenly, and pulls weird faces and makes loud weird noises. But it doesn't seem 'autistic' exactly, it's almost like he has all this energy building up inside and it comes out suddenly in an eccentric way.

Well anyway, today he bit a boy, and I was obviously shocked about this. Apparently he likes the boy, and was just playing with his when without warning he bit him on the arm. He is impulsive like that. I don't think he wants to be mean. He just thinks he is being fun, and doesn't realise he is breaking social regs. It would not have been a hard bite - more playful but then too much. Arg. it's hard to explain.

Does any of this sound like adhd? He constantly moves about and almost vibrates with energy.

Any input would be great. I am trying to get in the mind of adhd.

Thanks for reading i know it was long.
x

Normally they won't do a formal assessment under the age of 7. That isn't unusual. Clearly something is going on though.

My own son was assessed at late 6 early 7. The assessment was started due to severe speech delays and severe fine motor deficits. In the course of testing, the psychologist also saw the ADHD. His formal educational diagnosis is OHI(Other Health Impaired) for ADHD. That allows him to receive special ed services, including occupational and physical therapy, counseling, speech services, accommodations, etc.

He his all of these issues that play off of each other and complicate each other which kind of sounds like what may be going on with your son. Some of what your son is showing might be ADHD, but there certainly seem to be other issue complicating things, and unfortunately it can take time to get accurate assessment on young children as there is a wide range of what is consider within developmental "normal" at that age. That range gets narrower as kids get older which is why it is easier to assess kids as they get beyond those early developmental years.

[clairebear2k6]

thanks so much for your considered reply farmergirl.

first of all, I am so glad for you that you have got some answers for your son, although I am sure that is just the beginning of a long tough road ahead. as you say it is the gateway for help so to speak, and by the sounds of it, you have help for lots of different areas.

yes I do understand about the range of normal and things changing as they get older. It just seems to me that my son is the kind of child you would not back to grow out of his problems. but then I know him better than any of his offical assessors. so maybe they just don't see it the same as me. It also seems to leave kids (and schools) without vital help just because things 'might change'. why do they not look at the kids and schools needs now - they are still valid, surely.

anyway, I know it is really all about money - they are just trying to save it where they can. times are very tight here in uk.

If i had to come down on either side of the fence, I would say that he is more adhd than asd. But I have been reading lots of research about how the two overlap. Apparently the new DSMV classification rules that asd can no longer be co-diagnosed with adhd. They say that although asds can exhibit adhd like symptoms, those symptoms should be seen as part of asd and not as distinct adhd in its own right.

It's al lfairly confusing, because clearly, the two disorders share the triad of impairments in social communication, language and repetitive behaviours. I guess the argument is that the behaviours may be similar, but arise from different causes, so that if you treat adhd with stimulants it will be more effective than if you treat asds with stimulants to get rid of hyperactivity, impulses and inattention.

Arg. That is too much to take in over my morning cup of tea.

I would love to know how you are getting on with your son. Does he have any medication and how do you find parenting a child with extra needs?

Thanks again
x

My son is now 17 and in high school in regular classes with some special ed support and a heavy dose of accommodations due to his still severe fine motor deficits and ADHD. He takes vyvanse daily for the ADHD which helps a bit with the focus but certainly doesn't "fix" everything. He marches in the band, is generally a really good kid, gets along with others, etc. Sometimes his impulsivity gets in the way and he lands himself in some trouble; he does go to therapy to work on dealing with his frustrations and work on skills for self-regulation.

It can be taxing to have to be more than just Mom with him. Particularly as he's gone to high school, I've found myself really having to play advocate for his rights and needs more which is frustrating. I'm a teacher myself, and it aggravates me to no end that my fellow teachers don't work with and do for my son what I do for my own special needs students in my own classroom. It can be a bit of a battle with the school/teachers at times, but I know what his rights are, they KNOW I know that, so generally they end up doing what they really have no choice it doing to help him.