Mom says I'm making it up

My background is that my bro and dad are both add. Bro is 22 and I'm 17. I've been homeschooling since 6th. In school I got all A's but I was ALWAYS in trouble for talking. I've taken all the online tests for adhd and they all say I'm probably adhd. I don't think before I say stuff, if something is boring I can't really get started or pay attention, but if something is cool I can sit still for hours and pay attention. I told my mom all this and she said that Bro has add because he never turned in papers in school. Like good grades in elementary mean that it's all my fault now?
She says it's just "disipline". I think it's just cause I'm a girl. All I want is to know if there is a reason I'm the way I am. What do I do?

Snow_paw... it is probably very frustrating to be invalidated by your mom like that. I'm sorry that she is hurting you by not taking you seriously.

Is 'the way you are' causing problems in your life?

Like LMo said, it must be frustrating to be invalidated by your mom. I'm sorry you have had that happen.

Please though, be careful.... those online tests aren't always accurate and can generalize almost anything to be a disorder of some kind. I personally don't belive in them-- they only scare people.--IMO

If the way you are is casuing you much problems in your life it would be best to seek out a professional and get some "real" testing done. And then that way a professional can also help you in coping with any difficulties you may be having. I see you are 17 so-- not sure if your mom would agree to you being tested, if not perhaps when you turn 18 you can make the appointments on your own.

My son has ADD and is your age... he's had it as long as I can remember-- before age 5. He was in the hall with his desk sometimes when he was real young, he always lost papers..... there was rarely any concentration no matter how he felt about a subject . To this day... he never knows what's going on at school since he "zones out" so much, he turns things in late all the time, even misses fun events.... his grades could be so much better....*sigh*. It's a big struggle and problem for him coping with ADD.

Not meaning to discredit you..... it's just that being bored with something and not being able to concentrate on it but yet able to keep focus when interested -- sounds like you just have likes and dislikes-- I think that this is very normal to lose concentration when bored. However, I think it would be a good idea to be tested by a professional..... some things can show up differently in different people.

Good luck to you and I hope I havent offended you-- just trying to support and inform.

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mandyfins said:

Not meaning to discredit you..... it's just that being bored with something and not being able to concentrate on it but yet able to keep focus when interested -- sounds like you just have likes and dislikes--

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In add and adhd there is something known as hyperfocus. Hyperfocus is being able to intently focus in on things that one enjoys while one will "zone out" on things that they do not enjoy.

I also agree that online tests are not the best way to diagnose... they definitly do generalize way too much. It is true that add and adhd are more common in males then in females, however it is possible for females to be add or adhd. The next time that you see your gp i would suggest that you ask him/her about possible testing. Just like anything else in psychology add and adhd is BioPsychoSocial, there is somewhat of a genetic componet to it...

No offense to your mother, but it seems to me that she doesn't really understand the add and adhd disorders... just because one person with add doesn't remember to turn in papers does not mean that everyone with add can't remember to turn in papers. There is always an array of symptoms for every disorder and no one ever has all the symptoms of a given disorder....

Hope this helps some,
Jason

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In add and adhd there is something known as hyperfocus. Hyperfocus is being able to intently focus in on things that one enjoys while one will "zone out" on things that they do not enjoy.

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I'm sorry to hear this...
seems like some science is determined to find ways in which we can all be labeled and medicated....

I honestly don't see that not being able to focus on something that one doesn't like as being a problem that requires a "label" and possibly medication! In the past, people would try best they could with such a difficulty and then realize to stay away from that which bores them-----

I really don't get the need for this "hyperfocus" label-- It saddens me to think where we are headed with all this...............