[sukothefox]

Hello everyone. I have been feeling this very heavy anxiety, because I am not sure what is wrong with me. 14 years ago, I was diagnosed with ADHD with an IQ of 140. The reason why is because in the elementary school I was in (it was first grade), I would not pay attention to the class, would disrupt it, bother my classmates, and I would often get out of the classroom by lying to the teacher I would go to the restroom, when in fact I would go to the library and get more information about astronomy, the human body, or geography.
At that time I watched the Disney Hercules movie, and became intensely interested in Greece, and would try to learn anything I could about the gods and goddesses, Greek architecture, and I would try to mix that with my lifelong love for astronomy.
When the school psychologist noticed my behavior, and also a drawing of this character from Mexican history called "El Pipila", who carriee a torch to defend himself from the Spanish. She interpreted it as me being a pyromaniac, and that I was mentally retarded. I don't know how she came with the latter idea, but my parents became really angry and took me to a clinical psychologist and that's where I got the ADHD diagnosis and the real IQ test. The school psychologist did nothing to diagnose me but look at a drawing and interpreted it badly.
They expelled me from that school after learning what the clinical psychologist concluded, and the principal said I needed to be on a more intellectually stimulating school, probably in another town since where I lived at that time lacked one.
They didn't put me in one, and instead I ended up in one that was smaller and had no library. I would still disrupt the class, but managed to graduate all the way, with little effort would get 80's, 90's and even 100's on tests. Sometimes I would get C's in math.
When I started college, I learnt about Asperger's Syndrome, and could relate a lot to it. I sometimes don't understand idioms, but sometimes I do. I also remember I would sometimes bore my peers with my conversations about history, but I never even bothered to look at their expressions to see if they were bored so I am not sure if it's just the ADHD, or if it was really Asperger's. I remember I would make friends only with people who liked what I did, and it was very rare and remained throughout middle school isolated with only one friend who had some things in common with me. In High School I made more friends, and until recently, I finally belong to a modest group of friends with whom I discuss anything intellectual, from Psychology, to whether there is free-will or not (I say there isn't).
But as I looked at my old kindergarden worksheets, I noticed some letters and numbers were inverted, and some really ugly drawings of thunderstorms, tornadoes, and satellites (the latter were fairly good for a young child though).
Another interest I had when young was meteorology. I would watch the weather channel when I was about 4, and try to learn anything I could about natural phenomena in Discovery, like earthquakes. Don't get me wrong, I also would watch cartoons and play with my toys. I wasn't so obsessed with things. But sometimes I would obsess over cartoon characters and imagine them being my friends. I have always done this, or I would also invent my own characters and imagine them as friends.
The reason was my isolation because of my interests which were not shared by my peers, and I would constantly crave hugs, kisses, and care from someone other than my parents. I've read that this is something people with Asperger's do, since they also tend to be isolated, but I am still not so sure.
I have good imagination and have wrote three pieces of poetry lately, and my anxiety exists because I am not sure why I do have a high IQ and suck at math, I am naive, and people always beat me at video games. It seems the only good thing I am good at are academic subjects.
I also got a haircut, a good idea from my dad since I developed trichotillomania out of that anxiety, and I have stopped since. Was the school psychologist right when she said I had mental retardation? Two mental health professionals agreed I have ADHD, and both commented on how curious, witty, and perspicacious I am. I just don't know what I am anymore, and this anxiety is like a leech that sucks my self-esteem slowly. I know it is pernicious to think too much, but I cannot control it.

[sukothefox]

I am also terrible at controlling my anger, and I have caught myself yelling of frustration when someone doesn't understand me or doesn't listen to me, and I often end up verbally abusing people in arguments because of rage. Other than that, I've never been physically aggressive, and I have never got into fights. The only problem I had was that I would talk back to teachers, and once I remember I yelled to one and stomped on an empty can on soda when I was six.
I also have this temdency of biting my pen lids and they end up lookiing like a zombie rat tongue. Am I really retarded? I am so confused, and I can't believe I am being successful at college and doing these things. Like I said, I get C's only if I don't study or if the subject is not interesting. I know their importance, but I just cannot read the book because it's not interesting to me at the moment and end up getting those C's.

Are you seeing a psychologist or therapist? If so tell them exactly what you wrote here. Maybe try to get re-evaluated? Look around here for more info and take a few of the tests, I know they really have helped me!

[sukothefox]

Originally Posted by Horsegirl72794

Are you seeing a psychologist or therapist? If so tell them exactly what you wrote here. Maybe try to get re-evaluated? Look around here for more info and take a few of the tests, I know they really have helped me!

I did another IQ test long after that first one and scored a 130.

What about taking a test on here for ADHD? I dot know if there is one for Aspergers but it worth a look

[sukothefox]

Originally Posted by Horsegirl72794

What about taking a test on here for ADHD? I dot know if there is one for Aspergers but it worth a look

At the time I got the diagnosis I got an EEG and an MRI and the psychiatrist found ADHD there, and ritalin worked. My parents discontinued it because of the side effects.

[-jimi-]

What I've noticed are two things. Kids these days if they have school issues, they all "have" ADHD. Then, when they grow up, it might turn out they really had depression, bipolar, ASPD or Asperger's. They seem kind of blind to other options, and think it is all ADHD! It might be changing somewhat, but still.

The other thing is that there is a huge overlap between AS and ADHD. I belong to a forum for AS, and 10 years ago, everyone was "just" AS, now 25 % of them also have a diagnosis of ADHD. I somehow think the spectrum is not just an autism one, I think there is the same spectrum between AS and ADHD.

I was diagnosed as AS as an adult, and later also as ADD. Because I'm over 40, these diagnoses did not exist when I was in school. The only thing that happened if you had academic issues was that you could be held back a year, or you could go to a special small group for the subjects in which you had the most problems. If you had really severe issues you could be branded MBD. So, I never had an explanation for my academic issues.

I knew I was smart. I could just not do things I found boring. Also I could learn to spell by seeing a word once, on the other hand I could not memorize any math shortcuts that we were supposed to know, such as multiplication. The teach was puzzled. If I'm good at A, I should be good at B. When I was 10 we learned cursive and we had a book just for practicing handwriting. Then we had one for creative writing. I was super at creative writing and found it so much fun. My handwriting in it is pretty good for a 10 year old. As for the handwriting book.... we were supposed to just copy text to practice writing. I didn't understand it! What is the point? It is sooo boring! So my handwriting book looked like a total disaster!!! LOL.

I never disturbed class but I often drifted off. Got worse the older I got. When I was in 10th grade all I did was scribbling and drawing when my teach was yapping. Sooo booored.

Special interests is something of AS. I had them mostly when I was a teen. I loved astronomy. But it is said to be typical ADD to not being able to discipline yourself learning something you have no interest in. I couldn't do that. I could stare at pages and nothing stuck in my memory. So in odd ways, there are special interests in ADD as well. I'm not totally sure of the divide.

Also very typical Asperger's is a very uneven skill level. You might be really good in one subject and really bad in another. I'm very bad at math. Even the test staff for Asperger's was surprised I could not add in my head, because i just scored 100 % at language. (And they should KNOW this is common...) Not being able to access a high IQ for doing real things can happen in both AS and ADHD. They both can work way below their IQ.

What sets ADHD and Asperger's apart is social skills. Someone with ADHD can be socially clumsy because of impulses, says something without thinking. People with AS have a more profound deficiency. They have a much harder time relating to others. They sometimes describe themselves as a different species.

However, I AM quite good at the social stuff for being an aspie, so it is easy to be fooled. I have met aspies who are loads worse at the social stuff and loads better at other AS related issues. But I also can relate to being a different species. People are so weird to me. (If someone thinks but hey, Jimi IS quite socially weird here, it is because I feel I shouldn't have to be someone else here, IRL I do pass as normal a lot.)

It was fun reading about your thoughs, Suko. Some of your stuff is so much me. I apologize for being all about me in this post, but we're not allowed to suggest diagnoses here.

[sukothefox]

Originally Posted by jimi...

What I've noticed are two things. Kids these days if they have school issues, they all "have" ADHD. Then, when they grow up, it might turn out they really had depression, bipolar, ASPD or Asperger's. They seem kind of blind to other options, and think it is all ADHD! It might be changing somewhat, but still.

The other thing is that there is a huge overlap between AS and ADHD. I belong to a forum for AS, and 10 years ago, everyone was "just" AS, now 25 % of them also have a diagnosis of ADHD. I somehow think the spectrum is not just an autism one, I think there is the same spectrum between AS and ADHD.

I was diagnosed as AS as an adult, and later also as ADD. Because I'm over 40, these diagnoses did not exist when I was in school. The only thing that happened if you had academic issues was that you could be held back a year, or you could go to a special small group for the subjects in which you had the most problems. If you had really severe issues you could be branded MBD. So, I never had an explanation for my academic issues.

I knew I was smart. I could just not do things I found boring. Also I could learn to spell by seeing a word once, on the other hand I could not memorize any math shortcuts that we were supposed to know, such as multiplication. The teach was puzzled. If I'm good at A, I should be good at B. When I was 10 we learned cursive and we had a book just for practicing handwriting. Then we had one for creative writing. I was super at creative writing and found it so much fun. My handwriting in it is pretty good for a 10 year old. As for the handwriting book.... we were supposed to just copy text to practice writing. I didn't understand it! What is the point? It is sooo boring! So my handwriting book looked like a total disaster!!! LOL.

I never disturbed class but I often drifted off. Got worse the older I got. When I was in 10th grade all I did was scribbling and drawing when my teach was yapping. Sooo booored.

Special interests is something of AS. I had them mostly when I was a teen. I loved astronomy. But it is said to be typical ADD to not being able to discipline yourself learning something you have no interest in. I couldn't do that. I could stare at pages and nothing stuck in my memory. So in odd ways, there are special interests in ADD as well. I'm not totally sure of the divide.

Also very typical Asperger's is a very uneven skill level. You might be really good in one subject and really bad in another. I'm very bad at math. Even the test staff for Asperger's was surprised I could not add in my head, because i just scored 100 % at language. (And they should KNOW this is common...) Not being able to access a high IQ for doing real things can happen in both AS and ADHD. They both can work way below their IQ.

What sets ADHD and Asperger's apart is social skills. Someone with ADHD can be socially clumsy because of impulses, says something without thinking. People with AS have a more profound deficiency. They have a much harder time relating to others. They sometimes describe themselves as a different species.

However, I AM quite good at the social stuff for being an aspie, so it is easy to be fooled. I have met aspies who are loads worse at the social stuff and loads better at other AS related issues. But I also can relate to being a different species. People are so weird to me. (If someone thinks but hey, Jimi IS quite socially weird here, it is because I feel I shouldn't have to be someone else here, IRL I do pass as normal a lot.)

It was fun reading about your thoughs, Suko. Some of your stuff is so much me. I apologize for being all about me in this post, but we're not allowed to suggest diagnoses here.

No it's ok. I found what you said enlightening. I say things I dont want outnof impulse, and I am also clumsy and sometimes bump into someone I am walking with. The weird thing is that it just happens with my parents, and almost never with my friends.
It may be that I have ADHD as they did find it in me, but maybe I have mild aspergers too. The thing is that I am genuinely interested in what I like, and can make connections with ideas quite often. I am also a good speller, It was just at kindergarden I did that inverse letter thing.

I thought that most people with aspergers were better at math (like me) and not so god at language skills such as creative writing.

For me,I'm going to get a test for ADHD because of my concentration problems.I already know that I have a mild form of aspergers though.

Here's what i wrote on the autism forum about how the two conditions overlap. Original poster, you could have aspergers but you might also have ADHD as well becaus I think that they are co-morbid:

* Attention problems
Aspergers because of:
-- A need for strict routines
-- language difficulties
-- Obsessive rituals
-- self stimulating behaviors
ADHD because of:
-- Impulsivity
-- Hyperactivity
* Irrationally energetic activity
Aspergers because of:
-- Having their rituals broken by someone else
-- hyperactivity
* learning problems
* Breaks rules
Aspergers because:
-- They like rules but break the rules that they don't understand
ADHD because:
-- They dislike rules and break rules
* often appears to not be listening to someone during a conversation
Aspergers because:
-- They are trying avoid direct eye contact
ADHD because:
They're focused on other things or day dreaming.
* oppositional
Aspergers because:
-- They want to avoid anxiety
ADHD because:
-- They're trying to gain attention
* problems following directions
Aspergers because of:
-- not understanding social request or action
ADHD because:
They're distracted or in 'brain fog' or day dreaming
* says inappropriate things and has problems figuring out the appropriate response to some situations
* talking at someone or talking non stop
* tantrums,
* when younger, difficulty accepting soothing or holding.

Children with ADHD and aspergers both have;
* Serious sensory integration problems
* Uncoordinated and impulsive
* Respond positively to structure and routine
Aspergers because:
-- They have they're own rules that they follow and can use that technique to follow other rules
ADHD because
-- It requires less effort to stay on one task.

Deficit in executive functions for both ADHD and aspergers;
* Inattentiveness
* Distractability
* impulsivity

[montanan4ever]

Might you benefit from an updated neuropsych evaluation?