difficulties with relatives and ADD messiness

Hi
writing today because I just really caused a rift between myself and my family. They've helped me a lot over the years......they enjoy helping people in general. However, if I go over there....they want to do everything. When they come to my place, they still take over! I realize I'm two steps behind a lot of people and get in circles but I still want to go at my pace.....they helped rearrange furniture for me which was great. But my paper piles!!! I want to do this myself!
Everytime I turned around they were rearranging....and commented on the mess and dust, etc. I got angry and stated that they weren't perfect and I didn't arrange their stuff and that I only wanted help with furniture.......anyhow....they left for home......four days early.....with lots of plans left undone.....very neutral feelings for everyone. I feel overwhelmed emotionally and sad.

I'm glad you let them know how you felt, that was good. Too bad they couldn't stop to listen and hear what you were saying such that they left you feeling sad and frustrated/overwhelmed. In my experience with similar situations (I am a slob/paper piler too :-) it has only been a temporary rift with the others trying to help.

Maybe next time you can move your piles of papers and things you don't want them to touch before they come? I bought a "set" of cardboard boxes at the office supply store and put my messes away.

Can you call and "apologize" (for their thinking they had to leave, "I didn't mean for you all to feel you had to leave, I'm sorry you felt that way; I was just feeling so overwhelmed" something like that)? I think if you get the conversation going again everyone will make up and you might not have to feel so sad anymore.