Thanksgiving with the relatives

I know Thanksgiving isn't until Thursday but I am stressing now. It will be the first holiday or real family gathering since my surgery. I am worried that they will be watching what I eat asking are you supposed to eat that? I hate it when I think people are watching me eat. I don't know what to do and plan on bringing it up in therapy today but still am open to any suggestions. Everytime I talk to my grandma and we start talking about what we are making for dinner and such she always asks me are you supposed to eat that? If I wasn't supposed to be eating it I wouldn't I don't want to gain all that weight back and plus I don't think Dr. Baker would be a nice guy if I started to gain. Anyway I am not sleeping at night and such I am so stressed. Also my family spends most of the day eating and I don't eat when I'm not hungry so I know they will be well Jan why don't you have any pie? Why don't you have some more cranberry sauce etc. I plan on saying No thank you I'm full. I hope that works. I would love to not go but that's not an option.

Jbug

How about
"no thanks, I've had enough"
"I'm saving room for dessert" (and then don't eat what you don't want)
or you could go with a real crowd pleaser with
"um, this doesn't taste right to me. Do you think it has spoiled?" LOL!!!

I'm sorry you're worrying about having others focus on what you're eating. I try not to anticipate what's ahead, and that helps some. Maybe just take it as it comes?
Hope you are able to enjoy the day.
partlycloudy

Hi Jannie. I can see where you're coming from. How about asking to take a little extra food home...including the desert. This way, you aren't turning down the food...plus you have your meal for the next day.

TGC

As far as them questioning you about what you're eating, say, "Thanks for the concern, but I've got things under control. Have a little faith in me."

As for them pressuring you to eat, "No, thank you, I'm full," should be enough. But if not, say, "I could, but you don't want to clean up the mess that'll happen if I explode. Trust me."

Hi Jannie,

It sounds like you have the perfect comebacks.
"I don't eat what I'm not supposed to eat."
"I don't eat when I'm full."

What better things to say! Can you leave early? Eat your dinner, tell them it's been swell and leave if you can.

Best of luck and also hugs,

Jan

((((((((((((((((Jbug)))))))))))))))))

I sooo understand. I'm sorry for the stress of that. It is a massive stress. When I lost the major weight that I lost, some were on me to eat more, some were on me to keep watching, etc. No matter, it's a high anxiety and feeling like everyone is critisizing.

I so hope that your responses work and you have a wonderful day...that's my thanksgiving wish for you.

KD

How about ear plugs and a smile at everything? If you don't answer, they can't argue... and you won't feel like you have to have a good answer. Just a thought families are something, aren't they?? TC be safe.

I should also mention, on the topic of them offering more food when you don't want it, some people are raised to believe that it's polite and "being a good host" to make sure you're well-fed. My mom is one of these. My boyfriend (among others) will tell her he's had plenty, and she'll start shoving more food onto his plate, saying, "No, have some more!" LOL! She means well!

Thanks for all the responses. I will try to keep my sanity. Today I was talking to my Grandma and she asked me if I can have rolls because she was in the process of making them and I said yes but I choose not to eat them. I don't eat them because they expand in my tummy and I can't get any nutritional food in because all that's there is this huge roll. Anyway she asked does that mean you aren't going to eat my rolls? OMG I just got done saying what happens when I eat them. I said maybe I'll share with someone. Keep me in your thoughts and if you hear of a mass murder in NW arkansas you'll know I went off the deep end. LOL

Jbug

((((((((((((((((((( Jannie ))))))))))))))))))

Oh heavens, Jannie, are you sure your Grandma and my Mom aren't related. Just before you lose it and bug out on them, can you mail all the left over rolls to me.

Seriously, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Count on it.

Hugs,

Jan

Hey Janniebug - how did Thanksgiving go? I thought of you, while my husband and I ate dinner at our house, alone. I was most thankful to not have a lot of hubbub going on. Hope your Thanksgiving wasn't too pressured.