Feeling confused

I just got back from my psychiatrist appointment and I'm even more confused now than I was before. I still don't understand if I have an ADHD diagnosis or dyscalculia or dyslexia. I didn't get tested and he didn't even mention tests even though I asked about it. I asked him if he would be putting ADHD on my school disability services form or not and he said something like "Oh yeah, sure, I'll include your ADHD symptoms". But does having symptoms mean I have the disorder?

I sent him an email when I got home to clarify because I'm feeling really up in the air.

He just reiterated that if I weren't bipolar he would prescribe a stimulant like adderall but because I'm bipolar that's out of the question. He didn't mention any non stimulant drugs.

He just spent most of his time trying to convince me to use the pharmacy at the clinic instead of the one I use, and trying to convince me to switch to clozapine instead of what I'm on. But I do NOT want weekly blood draws for 6 months and then every two weeks after that. That's too much for me. It takes like 3 hours to get your blood drawn at the clinic because there's always a line. I just can't do that before work. I don't have time, and I definitely don't have the will.

I feel really bad now because I didn't get any help for what I came in for. I'm already way behind in school and making tons of careless mistakes at work that could get me fired, and forget homework, I just can't even get started. I don't know what to do.

i can sense your frustration at not getting a direct answer from your dr and being pushed into doing something that you dont want to do. it is really important that you advocate for yourself as you did when you wrote him for clarity. we must remember that our drs work for us, they are not the be all know all they think they are. so stay strong in what works for you.

I feel like I have dealt with my ADHD fairly well until I overworked myself last year, so maybe some of my techniques could be helpful (for school stuff). I was never on any medication for it when I was younger (I also didn't know that anything was wrong with me), so I came up with my own weird solutions to make myself focus better:

1) The leg shaking was my first concentration technique. I shook my legs when I was having trouble focusing and wanted to pay attention. This helped provide a distraction to enable me to focus. It also kept me from falling asleep.

2) Music. I brought a CD player with me to school and hid it in my backpack. I kept my hair long so that I could hide the cord to the earphone. I kept the volume of the music at a level where I could enjoy listening to it while still being able to hear the teacher. Sometimes, I just used one earphone at a higher volume. (I was a secret rule breaker, lol)

3) Naps. I napped frequently after exerting a lot of energy. After napping, I usually felt recharged and ready to be focused again.

4) Exercise. I had a lot of problems with my emotions and screaming when younger. After I started exercising consistently, those problems went away. Anything aerobic is good for my mood.

5) Using a Daily Planner. This is what kept me on track. I couldn't remember anything unless I wrote it down in my planner. I had my entire schedule, all assignments, activities, and work times planned out. I lived out of that thing. I checked it multiple times during the day.

6) a watch. This helped me a lot for timed tests located in rooms without a visible clock. I like wearing a watch during tests because I can monitor my progress and determine when I get stuck in a repetitive thought loop.

I hope that these could be helpful. If you aren't already using a daily planner, I think that is the most helpful of the things I listed. It is difficult to get into the habit of using it, but once you do, it is really easy to stay on schedule and not lose track of time as much. If you already do all these things, sorry to repeat information.

On a side note, in the past when I had my life under control and was doing really well, if I couldn't focus at a time when I planned to get homework done, I would just indulge in doing something fun (no longer than one hour, though). I would then try to get back to what I needed to do after I did something fun. Exercise also helped me feel more focused back then.

I found this list when searching for answers after enduring a lot of stress last year. It is a list of tips for managing ADHD without medication (I too tried to get a psychiatrist to prescribe me medicine for ADHD a year ago, but he only wanted to give me antidepressants for depression, so I tried to help myself the best I could and this list helped me a little)
Adult ADHD: 50 Tips of Management « Dr Hallowell ADHD and mental and cognitive health

Reading this list of tips was actually what finally convinced me that I did indeed have ADHD.

Your list and the link to the list you posted were incredibly helpful! I'm going to buy a planner tonight and try some of the things listed. I feel like I am on my own for now as far as my psychiatrist goes, but thanks to you I am not completely alone. I feel like I already naturally do some of the things you listed, like try to take 1 hour breaks and then get back to what I was trying to do, and listen to music while I do school work. But I could sure use trying the other things. Thank you!

I'm sorry you went through all that. It sounds incredibly frustrating. I agree with the idea of using a planner. I live out of mine. It's a big help.
Just a side note on the med side of things. I saw you're on wellbutrin. Wellbutrin used to be used a lot for ADD when docs didn't want to use a stimulant, and before Strattera, but you're probably not at a high enough dose. I don't know if maybe trying a higher dose and seeing if that helps any is something you want to think about mentioning at an upcoming appt? Just an idea.

I'm back down to 75mg of wellbutrin because my pdoc thinks wellbutrin made me manic. I tried to tell him that studying for 18 hours a day and being stressed out of my mind because of finals is what made me manic and that this always happens around finals wellbutrin or not, but he didn't seem to believe me and lowered my wellbutrin and upped my perphenezine, which I feel is clouding my mind even more. Someone told me strattera can cause mania too, but I thought as long as you're on a mood stabilizer or an antipsychotic (or two antipsychotics and a mood stabilizer in my case) then you should be fine. I really don't think a higher dose of wellbutrin would hurt, and I think it WAS helping somewhat, just not very much. I'd rather try strattera. I'd REALLY rather have at least the chance to try a low dose stimulant to see if I can tolerate it because SO many people on this board in the bipolar section are on stimulants and seem to be fine. I think my pdoc is just being too careful. My hypomanias/manias are really not that severe or long and come under control really easily. I don't understand what he's so worried about.

I bought this planner: Amazon.com : 2015 Weekly Planner (+) Calendar (+) Goals Journal - Custom Design For Adults and Older Children With Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder - 8.5x11 Spiral Bound - 12 Months - JAN to DEC 2015 (By ADHD Expert and Author Dr. Abigail Lev

It's specifically for people with adhd, and even if I turn out not to have adhd for whatever reason, I still think it will help me get organized. I should get it on Monday.

I haven't heard back from my pdoc yet. I kind of doubt he's going to answer me by email. It's really frustrating. So I have to wait until next friday to even get an answer and by then I already have a midterm, and won't have my disability services in place. Ugh.