Whats it like to have ADD?

So when i was in grade school i had these symptoms

-poor attention/spaced off a lot
-poor organization
-not very good at socializing (i had friends though)
-no interest in sports/odd interests

They diagnosed me with aspergers, but i never found it fitting, and the last two Ts didnt think i had it either

Now i have quite a few friends, im athletic, and i enjoy doing a lot of different things. The attention problems arent nearly as bad, but i often find myself spacing off in class, missing instructions, or missing small but important details. Im horrible with mechanical objects, or repetitive/boring tasks. I have like a mental "fog" and i feel a strong pull inward.like i have to put in effort to pay attention to this world. I have anxiety problems too, mostly because im "stuck in my own head" worrying about things that dont matter

Do any of you think that i could've just had ADD all along? What is it like to be/think like an ADD person?

Thanks

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It's like this.

Well, let me inform you (and everyone else on this forum) that ADD is no longer recognized in the newest DSM. This is likely because ADHD inattentive type is exactly the same as ADD is.
Anyway, ADHD is different for everyone. You sound like you may have it, but you need to get a proper diagnosis. For me, a good indicator that I still have it is that I will completely forget about tasks that I did 10 minutes ago, such as putting something in the oven. Luckily, I realize it before it's too late because I'm probably pacing. haha. Do you tend to go on tangents when you talk?

Considering my major is psychology, i shouldve known that, haha . Point is i left out the HD cuz im not hyperactive lol

But yes i get where your coming from about leaving the oven on. Or forgetting i left the dog outside. Being late, missing instructions, losing things. Sometimes a friend will tell me to pick up a pack of cigs and explain in explicit detail which ones he wants, and ill still come back with the wrong ones haha. Starting something, forgetting i started it, then starting something else. Stuff like that

I remember watching a speech that tony attwood gave (autism researcher) and he said that "aspergers is someone who has found something more interesting than social interaction" and it kinda smacked me in the face because (as a child) thats exactly how i was. But then once i started paying attention to other people and acknowledging that they exist (lol), i didnt really have any roadblocks at understanding or communicating (verbal or non verbal). Which is a reverse smack in the face

You guys can be the judge of whether or not i go off on tangents haha but i dont think i do for the most part in conversation. I do go on massive tangents when i think though haha. Why do you ask?

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You may just have ADHD if you are able to communicate efficiently and recognize others's body language.
Going off of tangents is very common with someone with ADHD, I think. Our minds are able to connect topics that most people don't. Sometimes I forgot what the main topic was in the first place, haha.

Right. Well, both psychologists i saw said they thought i had good skills and thought ASD was extremely unlikely. They had me take personality tests and tests involving reading peoples emotions in faces/voices etc. On the faces and voices, i actually scored so much better than average that it was like the difference between normal and ASD. I missed like 3/100 or something lol

But i still have the problems mentioned above and i still sense something "off" about me compared to other people. I heard, that in some cases, people with aspergers can develop almost like alter egos that appear extremely normal and can fool professionals. But im not sure if they are just hiding the symptoms, if its conscious/subconscious, or if they actually do understand others and it just takes a lot of work. I do find myself having to think/concentrate alot when im texting or speaking sometimes. Is that a part of ADHD?

Anyways, it just has me concerned, and i would like to know whats going on with me so i can get proper help for it. I know the symptoms of adhd and asd overlap a lot early on so i thought i could explore the possibility that i was misdiagnosed

Thank you for your input, and reading all this stuff haha

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I never knew that about Asperger's. The alter ego concept to me seems more that the person has learned to adjust to the "real world" though. Both personalities would have to show for it to be an "alter ego". I honestly can't tell you what you have though. When I was younger, I was told that I had a hard time expressing myself. Now, I'm a pretty articulate and expressive person. I think that people with ADHD struggle more with interpreting messages, and people with Asperger's struggle more with sending messages. It is totally possible for both of these groups of people to struggle with both, however. You're welcome. (Not to be passive aggressive, but there are a lot of people on this site who aren't very helpful at all. I try to be the opposite.)

Haha, youve been very helpful, and i dont expect you to tell me "what i have"!

The only source ive really heard the masking/dual personality stuff from was some of tony attwoods speeches on youtube. He's like one of the leading experts in the field. He basically explains it as kids going from "playing normal" to eventually assimilating in to that artificial identity but at the cost of losing touch with their true selves which eventually leads to anxiety, depression, and after years and years, eventually a breakdown. But i cant seem to find out if he means just hiding their inferiorities, or actually learning social skills? Because i feel like if you can learn social skills you dont have autism

Ive been told by a lot of people that im well spoken/a good communicator. But i find a lot of times when im texting for instance ill know exactly what i want to say but i wont know the words to say it. And so ill re read the messages (received and sent) over and over again until i express myself close to how i want

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OK. That makes sense. I couldn't give you an appropriate answer because I don't know too much about it.
From my experience, a person with ADHD would just have trouble remembering what they're texting about or to in the first place. Knowing what you want to say but not knowing how to say it sounds more like Asperger's.

I agree. I dont know enough about it either lol, but im just trying to keep all possibilities open.

By not knowing what to say, i mean like the "tip of the tongue" thing. It usually only happens when im texting girls or trying to write something meaningful (someone died, etc) rarely a problem face to face. But it may be normal for someone to not instantly know what to write in those situations. I mean i could but itd be sloppy. Idk. You have to understand i may be overly critical of myself on social stuff because of the label ive been given. Ive now just realized how many tangents ive ereased before sending in the past few years lol...

But yes, Dr. Attwood describes the mask for social confusion as an "exhaustive process"which i can totally relate too. But i think, when i text anyway, im more or less just masking plain confusion. I do always understand the general situation on both ends. I just miss tiny but important details in written messages. I dont have this problem in person

Its just i think when normal people text its read-write. Where as im like read-write. Reread-erase-rewrite (x10). And that is whats exhausting

Does that sound familiar to you?

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On a good day, it is organized chaos. On a bad day, I am down a deep hole, and just want to be left alone.

I see. I think that's pretty normal, but you seem to do it more than others. Reading texts multiple times is something I do at times too. You don't seem confident in your texting. I don't know the best way to build that up (maybe send your "rough drafts", if you will).

Yeah, i mean i guess the best way to say it would be when i am given straightforward instructions, or text, or plain words without emotion/any other cues is when i have the most difficulty. Because in those cases 50% goes in and 50% goes over my head, and then im left with nothing else to go on

Its not that i cant express myself, i just find it hard to respond to my full potential sometimes if i have trouble understanding what im being told

"Organized chaos" yeah that sounds about right lol

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oh my goodness this is awesome! really great visual!

I completely do that with texts! I have started making myself send a simple text right away once a day- I am doing alright with simple ones to people I know well.

You have already gotten a lot of answers, but I'll give you one from me. I am not diagnosed with AD/(H)D nor Aspergers, but both are likely diagnosis.

Anyways, for me, it can be something like someone telling me to do something and I don't even remember them asking me to do that a few moments later (the ADHD side) while.... sorry. I just forgot what I was going to write after that. Honestly. It was an example of what ASD or Aspergers would do.

Anyways, I can be an unorganized wreck 24/7 or go on a cleaning spree a month or so later until I mess it up like I normally do. It can be challenging because I tend to not focus on things I don't find interesting easily and since my main focus is mental health at the moment, my focus is infrequently talked about.

I don't know if this is an ADHD thing, but when I am on the internet, I will have at least 10 tabs open and I will switch between what tab I am reading/writing on. Currently, I have 13 tabs open and I have been going back and forth between reading something on one page to another because I tend to lose focus. It gets hard for me to read something or do something in general if there is only 1 task at hand. I need multiple to switch between from, but usually, I don't get those done anyways (sigh).

Those are some experiences I live with daily. Hope this helps .

Ive been doing the same thing recently also!

All you guy's input has been really helpful. Over the past couple months ive come to realize a few things, one of which is that im 99% sure i dont have aspergers.

I have a few reasons for that, #1 i scored NT on about every online test there is. #2 We have several aspies at work now, and yeah...between them and the "normals" im definitley more with the latter lol. Being able to meet a few helped me define what the DSM means by "marked" social impairment. No offense meant to anyone of course. As to why i was diagnosed with it as a child i do not know. That was too long ago for me to really have an answer

As far as the add/adhd thing goes i still do see that. Not severley or anything, my homework gets done, im never late for work, etc...but i fit the profile. For instance (and this is like the balloon thing) at work my boss will tell me to go get a pallet jack. Then on the way a customer flags me down because they have a question. After answering the question i notice a spill on the floor. Then i go to get a mop. But theres no mops in sight so i have to cross the store to go ask a custodian. Then i run in to other distractions. At which point when i finally return with the pallet jack "where the heck were you!" And then they go gossip about how im "lazy" and "wander too much". I also get a lot of flack for "looking like i dont give a ****" which sometimes i dont, but most of the time its because i space off a lot and lose sight of whats going on around me

So theres a better description i guess of what its like to be me lol

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