[Scatterbrained_x_3]

Does anyone else feel like they work for a boss who is undiagnosed adhd?

How do you cope with that?

Does it affect your work? Focus, Regardless of medications?

Thanks!

[healingme4me]

Hard to say. The important thing at work is whether I'm on track with keeping my work organized. We use white boards, sticky notes, markers and notepads, to ensure what needs to happen, happens.

[Claire2015]

I don't have ADHD but my friend does and she can't keep jobs as she doesn't like being bossed around or forced to focus on something she doesn't find interesting. Her mother however is self employed which makes it easier to sustain work and is medicated, other than that she would most likely struggle to keep a job. Your boss might/might not have it but you CANNOT confront him about it if you suspect he has it, i have learn't the hard way of this (my friend is called the blonde bombshell for a reason lol) and you could risk losing your job.

Easiest way i handled it (cause my friend is not medicated) is to kill em with kindness, so anytime your boss is in a bad mood or not on form so to speak just be polite and go get some air cause if you retaliate the situation will escalate like wild fire.

Best things to do:
- always be kind
- encourage them to make notes/lists to follow throughout the day
- timers are suppose to be very useful as ADHD'ers don't do things based on a timed structure so having a stopwatch or clock to keep them on track will be useful
- my friend doesn't like being helped as she wants to do things herself however struggles to do so, in which i will then step in and say how is it going, where are you up to, are you on track and if she is so far behind that she will get in trouble for it then i step in and help so checking up on them is very useful as you're helping by not helping them or taking over if you get me
- be positive
- maybe subtly mention ADHD and see how he/she responds but don't be direct talk from a third person point of view
- be encouraging cause ADHD seems incredibly tough to deal with when you're not medicated
- depending on how close you are maybe hang out with them after work and get to know them better (giving you an opportunity to mention ADHD)
- don't come across threatening, condescending
- don't jump to conclusions quickly otherwise he/she may get defensive
- if you see them making a mistake or error gently tell them something like "maybe instead of doing it that way it might be better this way" so it doesn't come across negative or like he/she is 'wrong again' or 'inadequate'

I have noticed that self esteem is veryyyyyyyyy low with unmedicated ADD'ers so any slight negative feedback will bring back a flood of memories where they have been told they are wrong, unable to do things etc

Just be gentle but not patronising and be there to talk to cause it isn't easy being friends with an unmedicated ADD'er however it will be twice as hard for them not understanding why they can't always reach their full potential or do things we take forgranted so always be kind no matter how bad it might get just be supportive.

Everyone needs someone to support and be supported by and who knows you may get a promotion etc

Good luck

Claire

[Scatterbrained_x_3]

Originally Posted by Claire2015

Best things to do:
- always be kind
- encourage them to make notes/lists to follow throughout the day
- timers are suppose to be very useful as ADHD'ers don't do things based on a timed structure so having a stopwatch or clock to keep them on track will be useful
- my friend doesn't like being helped as she wants to do things herself however struggles to do so, in which i will then step in and say how is it going, where are you up to, are you on track and if she is so far behind that she will get in trouble for it then i step in and help so checking up on them is very useful as you're helping by not helping them or taking over if you get me
- be positive
- maybe subtly mention ADHD and see how he/she responds but don't be direct talk from a third person point of view
- be encouraging cause ADHD seems incredibly tough to deal with when you're not medicated
- depending on how close you are maybe hang out with them after work and get to know them better (giving you an opportunity to mention ADHD)
- don't come across threatening, condescending
- don't jump to conclusions quickly otherwise he/she may get defensive
- if you see them making a mistake or error gently tell them something like "maybe instead of doing it that way it might be better this way" so it doesn't come across negative or like he/she is 'wrong again' or 'inadequate'

Claire,
Thank you for the wonderful advice!
I have ADHD. I've been on and off my meds. Right now I'm off meds because I had developed the coping skills to manage it.

I would absolutely never confront my boss because you are 100% correct, that would be firestorm!

I brought this up to see how other cope with something like this. Like you've stated, my boss has lowered my self esteem (which is already bad any way), I jump to conclusions frequently, because of my impulsivity, I want to lash out, or run screaming but thank goodness I don't do that. I take frequent breaks to just walk it off.

I was cruising along just fine without my meds. I truly was. But over the course of the last 6-8 months, I've felt myself slowly disintegrate and I feel my job performance is suffering and I feel it trickling into my personal life.

My goal was to always get to a point to manage the ADHD without meds. But I think I'm realizing, that I can't do that.

I was diagnosed 10 years ago in my early 30s. I have 3 daughters and 2 of them have it as well. The youngest one HAS to take her meds everyday or it's a bad day for her and everyone around her. The middle daughter needs her meds for school only. My oldest daughter seems unaffected.

Claire, I thanks for the post. It really helped.

[Claire2015]

Originally Posted by Scatterbrained_x_3

Claire,
Thank you for the wonderful advice!
I have ADHD. I've been on and off my meds. Right now I'm off meds because I had developed the coping skills to manage it.

I would absolutely never confront my boss because you are 100% correct, that would be firestorm!

I brought this up to see how other cope with something like this. Like you've stated, my boss has lowered my self esteem (which is already bad any way), I jump to conclusions frequently, because of my impulsivity, I want to lash out, or run screaming but thank goodness I don't do that. I take frequent breaks to just walk it off.

I was cruising along just fine without my meds. I truly was. But over the course of the last 6-8 months, I've felt myself slowly disintegrate and I feel my job performance is suffering and I feel it trickling into my personal life.

My goal was to always get to a point to manage the ADHD without meds. But I think I'm realizing, that I can't do that.

I was diagnosed 10 years ago in my early 30s. I have 3 daughters and 2 of them have it as well. The youngest one HAS to take her meds everyday or it's a bad day for her and everyone around her. The middle daughter needs her meds for school only. My oldest daughter seems unaffected.

Claire, I thanks for the post. It really helped.

No problem at all it must all sound familiar to you then as you have experience unlike myself. That is brilliant have you tried supplements and food regimes that will lower the intensity of the symptoms. Maybe you just need to keep working till you find a way of controlling it how you wish to.

Ahh i am really sorry to hear that it must be so tough having your boss knocking your self-esteem lower and lower. Especially cause you can't retaliate or your job could be on the line, however i think you should mention it subtly maybe chat randomly about ADHD or if you have time educate him and co workers of the condition and say how your children have it and you'd like to raise awareness.

Hopefully if this happens your boss will be able to tick the boxes of criteria to be diagnosed and you can have a happier working environment. As for yourself though it sounds pretty rough so you must take care of yourself even if it means leaving your job for another to save your self esteem do it.

I suppose ADHD affects people differently just be careful with high school etc as that is where the pressure will increase and become intense. My friend has ADD, she has always suffered from it and got a diagnosis last year aged 17. She went into depression back in 2010 where she felt she had no friends, couldn't do anything right and was worthless. She had suicidal thoughts but i NEVER let her act on it, you have to be cruel to be kind but i made sure she got through the hard times and her life improved MASSIVELY.

However the curse of ADHD like you are experiencing yourself will always be turbulant by the sounds of it. My friend's life is going downhill rapidly so being medicated is a must unless you are able to regain control manually so to speak but good luck you must take care of yourself and don't be a scape goat for your boss to dump their troubles on you when you have enough to deal with

You're welcome i am glad i helped even if it's just a little bit
Claire