[nessaea]

Hey all!

I'm Nessa, and not new to the site (although I've been away for a bit) but new to this forum!

I have had some stuff happen recently (story below in case you are interested, and because I want to tell someone!) but my main questions to the group are:
- When were you first diagnosed?
- What was the experience like? (ie. was it a dr, teacher, etc? was it self-report only, or did they talk to friends and family? did they start you on therapy, meds, other?)
- How did you feel when you first heard about your diagnosis?

And, in case you are interested, here are my last couple months, and the reasons behind my questions:

I just recently began seeing a psychiatrist for depression and anxiety after a two year wait. on the second session of the assessment (she said her assessments usually take 4-6 sessions) she started giving me questionnaires about different things. The fourth session, they started to be really focused on things like concentration, impulse control, hyperactivity, risk taking, memory, etc. So I asked her what they were for, and she mentioned that she had noticed in what I was saying and in my behaviours, some signs of ADHD, and wanted to get a clear picture of it, and then maybe do an actual assessment. I laughed and told her that no, I DEFINITELY didn't have ADHD.

So she gave me a couple books to read, and a couple websites to check out, and told me to come back the next week and see if I still felt the same way. So, I did what I was told, because I always do, but I was sure it was a mistake. I did really well in school as a child (even though I bombed in university), so I couldn't have ADHD!

And what I found shocked me. Researching Adult ADHD was like looking at my whole life through the lens of someone else. Almost EVERYTHING they were describing fit me perfectly. All of these things they were saying were signs, symptoms, and markers of this disorder were things I thought were just bad choices I was making, or character flaws. They were all the things that I hated about myself, because I could never figure out why I did/didn't do them, and why no one else seemed to have the same problem...so I always just assumed it was because I was lazy, stupid, incompetent and worthless. And the more articles I read and more lectures I watched, the more sense it made. And I even doubted it halfway through because I told myself that it must be something else because I did really well in elementary and high school. But then I looked into ADHD and Giftedness (I was classified as Gifted and with a high IQ when I was young, but stayed in a normal school because my parents didn't want to send me to a special school) and it turns out that Gifted kids are often never diagnosed because they can daydream/not pay attention in class and still get awesome grades, which is what always happened to me. And then when I thought about it, I would always find ways to be out of class, working on some special project, or tutoring other kids, or working on things for different clubs or activities, and the teachers never cared because I was always top of my class anyway.

Anyway, so I went back to her the next session with a much different attitude, and she decided to start a formal assessment. We still have a little bit left to do, but I think I know how this will turn out. And so I guess I was wondering how this whole experience was for other people, and if they have advice on how to deal with it, because I have to admit I'm pretty shell-shocked.

Anyway, that's my story. Thanks for reading, if you did

~ Nessa

[Cynical4096]

Hi.

Your story is pretty interesting.

I have recently been "re-diagnosed" with ADHD at age 40. It is quite profound but I have finally come to fully accept and understand that I have ADHD- the combined type, and what that means. My case is quite pronounced I'd say.

I know some young women that I am close to, that I am highly confident have ADHD, but they will not listen. They don't want to have it. Currently one of them has been influenced by her boyfriend due to her irritable and explosive moods to try various anti-depressants via a doctor, of course so far with no success.

Wait until you try the medication.

You have about a 70-80% chance of finding a stimulant medication that you can tolerate and that will largely control your symptoms. Of course that means you have perhaps a 20-30% chance of not having a good response or having significantly unpleasant side effects (rarely dangerous though).

You should probably start with a stimulant, give it a fair go, and if it fails consider trying another stimulant. If that fails, consider trying Strattera.

Due to various complicated reasons, I am currently on Strattera, which I find solidly moderately effective at treating my symptoms, and Strattera can improve more with time according to the data (over a few months).

However, due to cost, and other reasons I am discontinuing the Strattera and trialing Dexamphetamine soon, or I am supposed to be in a couple of weeks.

I have been on Ritalin, and it was 80% effective I'd say, but I discontinued because of side effects.

I can tell you when you find the right stimulant or medication, it TRULY will improve your life quality. This does not mean it will solve every problem in your life, or that you are going to live in a happy, happy heavenly like state for the rest of your life, but having the symptoms managed is very satisfying.

Even with the Strattera, in my case, it has basically made the difference between sitting on welfare and being unhappy, moody and dysfunctional (partially due to being unable to achieve much in life) to going back to study and being happy, confident and organized- although I still struggle moderately with various significant symptoms, so far.

Work with your doctor, it sounds like there is a good chance you have found a good solution to your problems, so that you can move on and meet your proper potential in you life for both productivity and happiness. Thankfully ADHD/ADD is usually an effectively treated disorder.

Oh and just to add, yes it is quite emotional when you suddenly realize it is not your character, lack of acceptance of responsibility, and willful disregard for social norms that has caused you difficulty all this time. All the while you have likely been blamed by various others and yourself. It is a bit like a form of personal psychological imprisonment. Soon you will hopefully be free!

Best wishes.

[janiedough]

I'm not going to type a whole lot because I am really tired right now, but you're story of ADHD is very similar to mine, especially with the good grades, and being in the gifted program. (sorry for the run on sentences) I had to start with anxiety meds before I got my doctor to prescribe me adderall for adhd. (Diagnosed at 23... My bf actually had been trying to convince me that I had adhd and I denied it for a long time until I finally crashed and couldn't even function anymore - which is when I finally admitted to myself that I have it and should seek help) I really don't want to take anxiety meds because I don't like being hateful, and the anxiety meds made me hateful (I only took them for 3 months before I couldn't take it anymore and stopped). I am hoping that I don't have to take them ever again because I believe everything that is going wrong is caused by something else, and anxiety is just a product of it - not the cause. Anyway, that is my little bit. I really want to get properly evaluated for all and any possible mental health concerns, though, so that I can prove myself to people. I just can't afford the cost to see a psychiatrist for a full evaluation.

[lavendersage]

Originally Posted by nessaea

Hey all!

I'm Nessa, and not new to the site (although I've been away for a bit) but new to this forum!

I have had some stuff happen recently (story below in case you are interested, and because I want to tell someone!) but my main questions to the group are:
- When were you first diagnosed?
- What was the experience like? (ie. was it a dr, teacher, etc? was it self-report only, or did they talk to friends and family? did they start you on therapy, meds, other?)
- How did you feel when you first heard about your diagnosis?

And, in case you are interested, here are my last couple months, and the reasons behind my questions:

I just recently began seeing a psychiatrist for depression and anxiety after a two year wait. on the second session of the assessment (she said her assessments usually take 4-6 sessions) she started giving me questionnaires about different things. The fourth session, they started to be really focused on things like concentration, impulse control, hyperactivity, risk taking, memory, etc. So I asked her what they were for, and she mentioned that she had noticed in what I was saying and in my behaviours, some signs of ADHD, and wanted to get a clear picture of it, and then maybe do an actual assessment. I laughed and told her that no, I DEFINITELY didn't have ADHD.

So she gave me a couple books to read, and a couple websites to check out, and told me to come back the next week and see if I still felt the same way. So, I did what I was told, because I always do, but I was sure it was a mistake. I did really well in school as a child (even though I bombed in university), so I couldn't have ADHD!

And what I found shocked me. Researching Adult ADHD was like looking at my whole life through the lens of someone else. Almost EVERYTHING they were describing fit me perfectly. All of these things they were saying were signs, symptoms, and markers of this disorder were things I thought were just bad choices I was making, or character flaws. They were all the things that I hated about myself, because I could never figure out why I did/didn't do them, and why no one else seemed to have the same problem...so I always just assumed it was because I was lazy, stupid, incompetent and worthless. And the more articles I read and more lectures I watched, the more sense it made. And I even doubted it halfway through because I told myself that it must be something else because I did really well in elementary and high school. But then I looked into ADHD and Giftedness (I was classified as Gifted and with a high IQ when I was young, but stayed in a normal school because my parents didn't want to send me to a special school) and it turns out that Gifted kids are often never diagnosed because they can daydream/not pay attention in class and still get awesome grades, which is what always happened to me. And then when I thought about it, I would always find ways to be out of class, working on some special project, or tutoring other kids, or working on things for different clubs or activities, and the teachers never cared because I was always top of my class anyway.

Anyway, so I went back to her the next session with a much different attitude, and she decided to start a formal assessment. We still have a little bit left to do, but I think I know how this will turn out. And so I guess I was wondering how this whole experience was for other people, and if they have advice on how to deal with it, because I have to admit I'm pretty shell-shocked.

Anyway, that's my story. Thanks for reading, if you did

~ Nessa

Thanks for sharing your story. Would you mind telling the name of the books and websites that you were directed to?

Thanks

[nessaea]

Originally Posted by Cynical4096

Hi.

Your story is pretty interesting.

I have recently been "re-diagnosed" with ADHD at age 40. It is quite profound but I have finally come to fully accept and understand that I have ADHD- the combined type, and what that means. My case is quite pronounced I'd say.

I know some young women that I am close to, that I am highly confident have ADHD, but they will not listen. They don't want to have it. Currently one of them has been influenced by her boyfriend due to her irritable and explosive moods to try various anti-depressants via a doctor, of course so far with no success.

Wait until you try the medication.

You have about a 70-80% chance of finding a stimulant medication that you can tolerate and that will largely control your symptoms. Of course that means you have perhaps a 20-30% chance of not having a good response or having significantly unpleasant side effects (rarely dangerous though).

You should probably start with a stimulant, give it a fair go, and if it fails consider trying another stimulant. If that fails, consider trying Strattera.

Due to various complicated reasons, I am currently on Strattera, which I find solidly moderately effective at treating my symptoms, and Strattera can improve more with time according to the data (over a few months).

However, due to cost, and other reasons I am discontinuing the Strattera and trialing Dexamphetamine soon, or I am supposed to be in a couple of weeks.

I have been on Ritalin, and it was 80% effective I'd say, but I discontinued because of side effects.

I can tell you when you find the right stimulant or medication, it TRULY will improve your life quality. This does not mean it will solve every problem in your life, or that you are going to live in a happy, happy heavenly like state for the rest of your life, but having the symptoms managed is very satisfying.

Even with the Strattera, in my case, it has basically made the difference between sitting on welfare and being unhappy, moody and dysfunctional (partially due to being unable to achieve much in life) to going back to study and being happy, confident and organized- although I still struggle moderately with various significant symptoms, so far.

Work with your doctor, it sounds like there is a good chance you have found a good solution to your problems, so that you can move on and meet your proper potential in you life for both productivity and happiness. Thankfully ADHD/ADD is usually an effectively treated disorder.

Oh and just to add, yes it is quite emotional when you suddenly realize it is not your character, lack of acceptance of responsibility, and willful disregard for social norms that has caused you difficulty all this time. All the while you have likely been blamed by various others and yourself. It is a bit like a form of personal psychological imprisonment. Soon you will hopefully be free!

Best wishes.

Thanks for sharing, and for all the information and encouragment!! It sounds like you have had quite the ride, but that you might be on the right path! If you feel like replying, I was curious what kind of side effects you had on Ritalin that made you decide to stop it?

~Nessa

[nessaea]

Originally Posted by janiedough

I'm not going to type a whole lot because I am really tired right now, but you're story of ADHD is very similar to mine, especially with the good grades, and being in the gifted program. (sorry for the run on sentences) I had to start with anxiety meds before I got my doctor to prescribe me adderall for adhd. (Diagnosed at 23... My bf actually had been trying to convince me that I had adhd and I denied it for a long time until I finally crashed and couldn't even function anymore - which is when I finally admitted to myself that I have it and should seek help) I really don't want to take anxiety meds because I don't like being hateful, and the anxiety meds made me hateful (I only took them for 3 months before I couldn't take it anymore and stopped). I am hoping that I don't have to take them ever again because I believe everything that is going wrong is caused by something else, and anxiety is just a product of it - not the cause. Anyway, that is my little bit. I really want to get properly evaluated for all and any possible mental health concerns, though, so that I can prove myself to people. I just can't afford the cost to see a psychiatrist for a full evaluation.

Thank you so much for your story, and I'm so sorry that it is money that is stopping you from getting evaluated and treated properly. I can kind of understand the frustration with that. Although we have free health care here, the waitlist to see doctors is sometimes years long, and so in the interim, it's pay a private doctor or professional who is not a doctor (psychologist, chiropractor, etc.) and those costs are HIGH!

What are you doing right now to get help?

~Nessa

[nessaea]

Originally Posted by lavendersage

Thanks for sharing your story. Would you mind telling the name of the books and websites that you were directed to?

Thanks

Of course!

She recommended:

"Women with Attention Deficit Disorder" - Sari Solden
"Journey Through ADDulthood" - Sari Solden
"The Queen of Distraction" - Terry Matlen
help4adhd.org

I have also found some online lectures and readings from Dr. Russell Barkley which have been super informative.

Hope that helps!

~Nessa

[kanasi]

Originally Posted by nessaea

Of course!

She recommended:

"Women with Attention Deficit Disorder" - Sari Solden
"Journey Through ADDulthood" - Sari Solden
"The Queen of Distraction" - Terry Matlen
help4adhd.org

I have also found some online lectures and readings from Dr. Russell Barkley which have been super informative.

Hope that helps!

~Nessa

Thanks, I was also hoping you would share these!!! I still don't even know where to start when it comes to books on ADHD. I have watched several videos of Dr. Barkley's lectures myself. They really help put ADHD into perspective and to understand how profoundly it may have affected my life.

I was on a waiting list myself (but only for a couple of months-- your 2 years really puts my impatience at waiting to be contacted into perspective!), and just got an appointment to be evaluated by a psychiatrist, another couple of months from now. My past is similar, except I don't think my elementary school had a gifted program so I was only in gifted programs through junior and senior high school. I had honours for my first year of uni too, but afterwards, things went downhill. (I didn't fail or drop out though-- just took years off and generally underachieved in life from there as compared to what I know I was capable of, with very ADHD-like tendencies underlying all of it that happen to go back to childhood.)

I want to thank you for posting your story here. A major reason I came (back) to this site was to read and hear from others about what getting diagnosed was like. I've been chickening out on posting about it myself for a while now, so I really appreciate you volunteering that info on your own.

[JaGo]

- When were you first diagnosed?
22 years old.

- What was the experience like? (ie. was it a dr, teacher, etc? was it self-report only, or did they talk to friends and family? did they start you on therapy, meds, other?)
I was talking to my therapist, and I didn't bring it up at all, but she had noticed that I seem to forget a lot of things, pace a lot, fidget, lose things, show up late to things and have trouble concentrating. She suggested these are signs I might have ADHD and referred me to a PDOC that could prescribe me medications.

- How did you feel when you first heard about your diagnosis?
Kinda relieved because it made a lot of sense and thought getting meds might make me more productive and active. Not sure that it has.