[Claire2015]

What is the hardest thing about having ADHD?

From having anxiety i think the toughest part is the panic attacks and feeling like you can't do things easily the way other people can for instance rollercoasters, you couldn't pay me to go on huge rollercoasters it becomes almost a phobia whereas other people suck it up and enjoy the adrenaline rush.

Claire

[kanasi]

I'm only waiting for a chance to be diagnosed with ADHD myself, but I understand this one's generally common among people who get diagnosed later in life (I'm late 30s): For me it would be the loss of time and loss of opportunity to live up to my full potential in life.

Sorry if that sounds depressing. I'm hoping that getting diagnosed and treated will allow me to turn things around, but it's still hard to accept not being able to turn back the clock.

[Claire2015]

Originally Posted by kanasi

I'm only waiting for a chance to be diagnosed with ADHD myself, but I understand this one's generally common among people who get diagnosed later in life (I'm late 30s): For me it would be the loss of time and loss of opportunity to live up to my full potential in life.

Sorry if that sounds depressing. I'm hoping that getting diagnosed and treated will allow me to turn things around, but it's still hard to accept not being able to turn back the clock.

I really appreciate you sharing that with me i hope you get diagnosed so you can use it to your best ability. That must be tough but everything happens for a reason so maybe you went through the worst in order to get the best my friend is suffering from unmedicated ADD but hopefully she will take meds so she just has ADD but is no longer suffering the negativity with it.

Claire

[doyoutrustme]

knowing what you're doing wrong but helpless to change it.

People treating it like isnt real; invalidating it by saying they have it because they forgot something once

[Claire2015]

Originally Posted by doyoutrustme

knowing what you're doing wrong but helpless to change it.

People treating it like isnt real; invalidating it by saying they have it because they forgot something once

Thank you so much for that insight that must be tough... Having NT people assuming you're faking it and purposely not doing things. And must be even harder when people pretend to have it because im guessing you must suffer a lot from it before you get medicated.

I hope you surround yourself with people who are accepting of you and don't judge you because i know my friend has a hard time with it and having people judge her, mock her etc only makes it harder.

Thank you for sharing that

Claire

[doyoutrustme]

Unfortunately I don't think 90% of people I know get it.

[Claire2015]

Originally Posted by doyoutrustme

Unfortunately I don't think 90% of people I know get it.

I'm not an expert nor do i have it but i've done A LOT of research, simulator vids and am close with a few ADD'ers so i do understand where you are coming from hopefully you can find ways to reach targets you wish too. I am here for you if you want someone to talk to

Claire

[unbreakablej]

Being an adult.

I was only diagnosed recently, as an adult and I thought the mds will help. They help a little, on a day-to-day basis. But in the long run, it still sucks.

I am still effectively irresponsible (even when I care so much about my tasks I lose sleep over them - until I forget about them that is), unreliable, unable to pay my bills on time (and then spend an entire day procrascinating at work because I left my bills at home and I can't pay for them), unable to pay attention, to meet deadlines. No matter how well my intentions are.

I can manage for a few months here and there, but I feel like I could barely stay in a job for even a year...

[Claire2015]

Originally Posted by unbreakablej

Being an adult.

I was only diagnosed recently, as an adult and I thought the mds will help. They help a little, on a day-to-day basis. But in the long run, it still sucks.

I am still effectively irresponsible (even when I care so much about my tasks I lose sleep over them - until I forget about them that is), unreliable, unable to pay my bills on time (and then spend an entire day procrascinating at work because I left my bills at home and I can't pay for them), unable to pay attention, to meet deadlines. No matter how well my intentions are.

I can manage for a few months here and there, but I feel like I could barely stay in a job for even a year...

Thank you for sharing your story it means a lot that you are comfortable replyig and sharing you personal experiences have you experimented with meds? Maybe different ones might help you even further. That must get you down at times but i'm sure you excel in other things or hobbies. Have you been working at places you have great interest in? A 9 to 5 seems draining for anyone nevermind an add'er who has to sit still, focus and have a repetitive routine.

Thank you again

Claire

[Claire2015]

If the whole world had ADHD do you think it would be easier to manage knowing that everyone is in the same boat?

Claire

[loveme_or_leaveme]

Originally Posted by Claire2015

What is the hardest thing about having ADHD?

From having anxiety i think the toughest part is the panic attacks and feeling like you can't do things easily the way other people can for instance rollercoasters, you couldn't pay me to go on huge rollercoasters it becomes almost a phobia whereas other people suck it up and enjoy the adrenaline rush.

Claire

Without Adderall, the worst part is feeling like a worthless waste of space.
Watching everybody around me moving fast and getting things done while im just sitting there staring off into space thinking about something totally unrelated. Then feeling stupid because, most of the time, i drift off into oblivion while everyone else is talking about a certain topic. I just sit there acting like im paying attention but, in reality, im wondering how long it would take to fly to Jupiter from the Moon in an airplane. lol

[Claire2015]

Originally Posted by loveme_or_leaveme

Without Adderall, the worst part is feeling like a worthless waste of space.
Watching everybody around me moving fast and getting things done while im just sitting there staring off into space thinking about something totally unrelated. Then feeling stupid because, most of the time, i drift off into oblivion while everyone else is talking about a certain topic. I just sit there acting like im paying attention but, in reality, im wondering how long it would take to fly to Jupiter from the Moon in an airplane. lol

Ouch that sounds painful, it's almost like a disability when it isn't managed, is that fair to say? Are you aware of how long you drift off for or is it when someone grabs your attention or you think of something that must be done immediately? You gotta remember you're constantly multitasking so don't be hard on yourself for it, if i have one thought on my mind that is really bugging me it is all i can think about and i end up not accomplishing much then feeling worse for it.

Don't be ashamed of being spontaneuous and interesting, yeah you might not be following others around you but if they are decent people they would carry on your topic of conversation without complaining about it. Even before i knew my friend had ADD i always carried on her conversations when no one else did so she didn't get upset, feel ignored or segregated from the group chat. Hopefully they learn to accept you as you are.

Claire

[unbreakablej]

Originally Posted by Claire2015

If the whole world had ADHD do you think it would be easier to manage knowing that everyone is in the same boat?

Claire

Worst thing that could happen.

We need well-organised people to run everything else in the world.

[kanasi]

Actually, I think the world might just be organized around ADHD people first, in that case. It wouldn't necessarily be better or worse; just a lot different.

[Claire2015]

Originally Posted by unbreakablej

Worst thing that could happen.

We need well-organised people to run everything else in the world.

Thank you for replying i appreciate it, if the whole world had adhd maybe organisation may not exist, it could just be the norm no one has to be organised that would be pretty cool.

Thank you again

Claire

[Claire2015]

Originally Posted by kanasi

Actually, I think the world might just be organized around ADHD people first, in that case. It wouldn't necessarily be better or worse; just a lot different.

Thank you for your imput i really appreciate it, i understand where your coming from, if however the whole world did have adhd it would be the norm wouldn't it, so maybe it may not be different as no one would know any different. I personally think that would be a really cool thing if everyone did have adhd.

Claire

[alwaysin6thgear]

Originally Posted by Claire2015

What is the hardest thing about having ADHD?

From having anxiety i think the toughest part is the panic attacks and feeling like you can't do things easily the way other people can for instance rollercoasters, you couldn't pay me to go on huge rollercoasters it becomes almost a phobia whereas other people suck it up and enjoy the adrenaline rush.

Claire

There are several things, an they all involve other people because it's their actions that make it very difficult to almost impossible for someone with ADHD to deal with it.
1: The people closest to me basically refuse to educate themselves about ADHD but have the audacity to tell me whats it like because they know someone who has it. They can't get it through their head that everyone is different.
2: The people closest to you still have the perception that you are the same lazy, unmotivated stupid person that "you were as a kid"
3: People who don't have it think it is just a fake, made up disorder so people like me can use it as an excuse for our actions.
4: People closest to you don't take anything you do or say seriously. Your always wrong.
5: We process things differently, I have never been fired from a job but I have had difficulties with co-workers because I have been able to my jobs in a way where my thought process has allowed me to be more efficient and along with my work ethic have made other workers look bad, not on purpose, just doing the job I was hired for. That has resulted in much resentment which was followed by work place bulling and false rumors about me to give me a bad reputation. I am a very big guy and I was an easy target for harrassment, if I stood up for myself a co worker would go to the boss claiming he felt intimidated by me. I'm in my early 50's and it still happens.
6: The isolation, the actions of other people, especially family and the ignorance and treatment caused me to basically isolate myself to the point that I am always alone. I do have a long time girlfriend and she knows I'm not the person that people assume that I am. At times she can be one of those as I don't talk about my ADD with her. It's a journey that I am alone on.
7: My siblings have excluded me in there childrens lives because of my difficulties as a child, my mother has not gone to bat for me as she talks AT me just like I am a child. 3 of my nephews are having the same issues I had but my siblings are in denial that they have ADHD, the mother does agree with me on that. They treat me like crap because my childhood, but watching their kids heading down the same path saddenes me. When I was kid ADHD was not known, todays it is and they just won't accept it that one of their kids has it.
The list goes on.

[Claire2015]

Originally Posted by alwaysin6thgear

There are several things, an they all involve other people because it's their actions that make it very difficult to almost impossible for someone with ADHD to deal with it.
1: The people closest to me basically refuse to educate themselves about ADHD but have the audacity to tell me whats it like because they know someone who has it. They can't get it through their head that everyone is different.
2: The people closest to you still have the perception that you are the same lazy, unmotivated stupid person that "you were as a kid"
3: People who don't have it think it is just a fake, made up disorder so people like me can use it as an excuse for our actions.
4: People closest to you don't take anything you do or say seriously. Your always wrong.
5: We process things differently, I have never been fired from a job but I have had difficulties with co-workers because I have been able to my jobs in a way where my thought process has allowed me to be more efficient and along with my work ethic have made other workers look bad, not on purpose, just doing the job I was hired for. That has resulted in much resentment which was followed by work place bulling and false rumors about me to give me a bad reputation. I am a very big guy and I was an easy target for harrassment, if I stood up for myself a co worker would go to the boss claiming he felt intimidated by me. I'm in my early 50's and it still happens.
6: The isolation, the actions of other people, especially family and the ignorance and treatment caused me to basically isolate myself to the point that I am always alone. I do have a long time girlfriend and she knows I'm not the person that people assume that I am. At times she can be one of those as I don't talk about my ADD with her. It's a journey that I am alone on.
7: My siblings have excluded me in there childrens lives because of my difficulties as a child, my mother has not gone to bat for me as she talks AT me just like I am a child. 3 of my nephews are having the same issues I had but my siblings are in denial that they have ADHD, the mother does agree with me on that. They treat me like crap because my childhood, but watching their kids heading down the same path saddenes me. When I was kid ADHD was not known, todays it is and they just won't accept it that one of their kids has it.
The list goes on.

Thank you for taking the time to read and reply i honestly appreciate it ADHD doesn't appear to be difficult as it is all you've ever known so i agree that others in society MAKE it hard. If everyone had ADHD it would be 'the norm' therefore everyone would be in the same boat.

I think that must really tough, have you ever sat close friends and families down and stated how you feel and how they make you feel? That could be very therapeutic and it gives you an opportunity to explain ADHD from YOUR perspective NOT what others think/say. Not only will you educate them about yourself but also your 3 nephews who may have it which might encourage the parents to get them tested for it

Claire

[Rymo070]

It's difficult to start a career when dealing with ADHD, I work in IT and found that there are several roles that I can't and won't ever pursue. Anything that was a matter of monotonous configuration and settings is not even slightly an option.

I got into IT support and everything changed, my "disability" was suddenly an incredibly powerful tool. I had to rely on systems to force me into the patterns to complete the tedious clerical aspects of the job but that is something I've come to expect with any job I take.

The customer service aspect of the role forced me to reign in the socially negative symptoms like speaking rapidly and interrupting people, that was probably the hardest part of it realistically but the results have had a huge impact on the quality of my personal and social life.

It doesn't have to be IT but we have to accept that it is a Sisyphean Task to try to completely overhaul who you are to fit into whatever job you happen to find yourself in, you have to actively work towards transitioning to something that you will find interesting and that will force you to interact in a meaningful way with others making you focus on improving your social skills.

[Rebound]

What is the hardest thing about having ADHD?

When I screw up just because I lose focus without even being aware of it at crucial moments. Most of the time I feel fully aware of everything around me and then suddenly I'm just not; I've gotten tunnel vision and as a result, I do something really absent minded like start the front loading washer with no soap in the chamber or the coffee maker with no coffee in it.

[Rebound]

Originally Posted by kanasi

I'm only waiting for a chance to be diagnosed with ADHD myself, but I understand this one's generally common among people who get diagnosed later in life (I'm late 30s): For me it would be the loss of time and loss of opportunity to live up to my full potential in life.

Sorry if that sounds depressing. I'm hoping that getting diagnosed and treated will allow me to turn things around, but it's still hard to accept not being able to turn back the clock.

Yes, I'm right there with you only older. I have a real problem letting that go and looking forward to the future. The one thing is that as a result I'm determined to see old age.

[CrazyLo]

Not being able to relax and focus on things...meaning I'm getting up and leaving or zoning out during times where I really should be listening because it might be useful to me some day.

[Claire2015]

Originally Posted by Rymo070

It's difficult to start a career when dealing with ADHD, I work in IT and found that there are several roles that I can't and won't ever pursue. Anything that was a matter of monotonous configuration and settings is not even slightly an option.

I got into IT support and everything changed, my "disability" was suddenly an incredibly powerful tool. I had to rely on systems to force me into the patterns to complete the tedious clerical aspects of the job but that is something I've come to expect with any job I take.

The customer service aspect of the role forced me to reign in the socially negative symptoms like speaking rapidly and interrupting people, that was probably the hardest part of it realistically but the results have had a huge impact on the quality of my personal and social life.

It doesn't have to be IT but we have to accept that it is a Sisyphean Task to try to completely overhaul who you are to fit into whatever job you happen to find yourself in, you have to actively work towards transitioning to something that you will find interesting and that will force you to interact in a meaningful way with others making you focus on improving your social skills.

Thank you for replying is it fair to say, that anything that doesn't interest you will be harder to start and complete. I don't have ADHD but i find it hard to do things that bore me or seem too long or complicated to even start it. It sounds amazing that you can use what can be a negativity in certain fields of your job to the best tool that will work wonders for you. Einstein had ADHD and i bet if you asked him to do something that he had no interest in he wouldn't have the legacy that he does.

It's good to learn from experience so anytime you deal with a negative encounter with someone don't beat yourself up about it thinking you're in the wrong (cause my friends and cousin do this alot) and just think of it as a new lesson. You can't learn if you don't make mistakes and you can't find yourself by trying to be like others thats what i have learn't anyway.

Thank you again

Claire

[Claire2015]

Originally Posted by Rebound

What is the hardest thing about having ADHD?

When I screw up just because I lose focus without even being aware of it at crucial moments. Most of the time I feel fully aware of everything around me and then suddenly I'm just not; I've gotten tunnel vision and as a result, I do something really absent minded like start the front loading washer with no soap in the chamber or the coffee maker with no coffee in it.

Thank you for replying i could imagine how frustrating that must be trying to mend the mistakes you didn't realise you made in the first place. My cousin says how he feels that it's harder when someone else points out his mistakes cause he is oblivious half the time and then feels embarassed when someone points his own mistake out to him, do you ever feel that way? Everyone is different i was just wondering if you don't mind me asking .

Thank you again

Claire

[Claire2015]

Originally Posted by Rebound

Yes, I'm right there with you only older. I have a real problem letting that go and looking forward to the future. The one thing is that as a result I'm determined to see old age.

Thank you for sharing that i really appreciate it i can only begin to imagine what it's like it must feel like you have wasted so much time trying to understand yourself but remember it is a good learning experience. Everyone lives their life differently so who is to say you are wasting your life, if you compare your life to others it will seem that way. That famous phrase "live fast die young" seems kinda relevant right now. I think you should be happy with how far you have come and take every negative and turn it into a positive. When life gives ya lemons make lemonade

Claire