If you could change one thing

If there was one thing you could change about ADHD what would it be? I don't have it however i wish i did, i'd change the fact that i don't have it. I know a few people who have it and they are some of the most amazing, spontaneous people i have ever met.

On the flip side if you could change one thing about having ADHD what would it be?

Claire

I don't think you can change one and not another. You have to take the bad with the good.

But changing one ADD-related thing, I would make it easier for me to start up activities. Starting up anything is so emotionally painful I sometimes even feel it in my body as well.

I always think that it's interesting when people say that they wish they had ADHD or a learning disability. I went to private schools growing up and I always heard people say that they wished they had a diagnosis. All they saw was that I got extra time to take tests and got to be in a separate space (and I guess that sounded good in such a competitive environment). However what a lot of people don't realize is that those are like, the only perks practically of having a diagnosis. And they are barely perks because if anything, they just level the playing field. Add in the stigmatism, the medication side effects, the overall inability to get anything done on some days no matter how hard you try ... it starts to sound less appealing.

That being said, I don't think that I would change anything about my ADHD. I think that it is part of what makes me who I am.

I agree with this. A lot of people in my classes are like "I wish I can write my test on a laptop" or "I wish I had extra time", but in reality, I would trade my mental illness diagnoses (see signature) for not having accommodations any day. I hate it. Really. Now, if I don't have extra time, I would probably fail, if I didn't do presentations only to the teacher, I would have a panic attack and not help my social anxiety. Sure, having anxiety in my case may help at sometimes, but not really.

I believe I have AD/HD, but I am trying to understand the difference between anxiety only and anxiety plus AD/HD. I just made a post about the difference in the anxiety section if you want to check it out.

And ya, having accommodations are nice for me because I need them, but what else is having a diagnosis good for? I guess disability if you needed, but that should be a LAST resort.

But if I do indeed have AD/HD (I know I have AD/HD like symptoms), I would like to be able to listen what people say better. I want to listen to my friends' boring conversation on Doctor Who (I don't watch it = I don't care), but it's, as stated, boring so I get distracted and interrupt them if I find something in my mind to talk about.

Other than that, I'll pass.

Social anxiety disorder, GAD, OCD, and panic attacks

Lexapro, 10 mg

I would not have gotten married to my second husband that I'm still married to.

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Thank you for responding i agree completely without that balance you won't be able to differenciate good times from bad. The bad times are a lesson and you appreciate the good more. The good shows you how to be humble cause you could be worse off.

With that being said i think that is interesting, you must get a lot of stick for not completing activities or for not starting them at all. I really do feel for you the reason i ask is because i wish that i had ADHD and wanted to hear from people like yourself blessed with the gift, what is one thing you would change.

Thank you again

Claire

Thank you for the input i appreciate it it's not so much that i want to have extra time or other accomodations it's more the perks of it such as the ability to hyperfocus on things that you have an interest in, being spontaneous and loveable to be around. Compassion and personal experience is one of the best traits in my friends and cousin who have the condition. They have been through a lot but they have gained knowledge and wisdom from it.

I completely understand your negative perspective on it, medication side effects are a down side however that is optional, if you love what you do you won't need meds or maybe you could try other treatment to see what works best. I think you have a gift and it seems a shame to waste it taking medication just to be able to adjust to the 'normal' work guidelines.

I think its unfair to make someone take medicine that makes them feel rough just to please others. Unless you genuinely want to take them or focus on boring things then that's okay but i wish i had ADHD all the best people have it and i think it would be cool to be able to relate to my friends with it.

Fair enough i completely agree you wouldn't be who you are without it and changing factors may not do any good so hats off to you.

Thank you

Claire

Thank you for the response i read on numerous websites that ADHD and anxiety go hand in hand i dunno if it's true or not but i have an anxiety disorder and it isn't the best feeling in the world i agree.

That is an understandable decision, you must get a lot of stick from your friends feeling like you're ignoring them. I understand how that must feel as one of my best friends deals with that all the time. (Not from me though i know how it is so i just take it into account anytime she zones out)

Thank you again

Claire

Thank you for the response was that a spontaneous decision or were you hyperfocusing on him at the time? If you don't mind me asking, you don't have to answer that if you don't want to it is a bit personal.

Thanks again

Claire

It was pretty spontaneous. It's just been a bad fit. One thing after another that undermined the marriage. Problems on both sides. Now financially we can't live separately. So we are stuck. Both retired, making the best of things.

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It says 25% of children with an anxiety disorder also have AD/HD.

I feel a lot of my friends are annoyed by interrupting them, looking away, zoning out. I usually need someone to repeat what they said a second time. Sometimes it's like I'm not in the zone and focused more on thoughts about random stuff. If I'm hyperfocused on something, saying my name won't get my attention, nothing around me distracts me, and I'm actually focused on what I'm doing. It takes a lot of time to do something to get there. Once I'm there it feels good and I am a lot more productive. This mainly happens when I'm interested though, not as much bored. Books or reading will hyperfocus me the most.

Social anxiety disorder, GAD, OCD, and panic attacks

Lexapro, 10 mg

Thank you for responding i feel for you that must be tough especially if you were kinda swept into it subconsciously. When you first met did you see possible issues with the relationship? my old friend has a boyfriend who she never wanted to be with but now has got rid of her friends and pushed people away to make it work.... she might end up resenting this decision the same way you resent your marriage.

Are you able to go back to your parents and just get away from him for abit?

thank you again

Claire

Thank you for replying Nike007 i can understand how ADHD and Anxiety tie in together does that make it harder to have ADHD or vice versa and if you were able to change the interrupting do you think having ADHD would be easier? i honestly wish i had it i think you're so lucky.

Thank you again

Claire

I'm not DXed with ADHD at all, just feel I have many of the symptoms and going for further testing.

If I do in fact have ADHD, which I am kinda confused with at the moment, they make each other both harder to managed. A few examples I experience are that I may not be focusing on what someone is saying and if it's important and I don't know what it is, then I start to worry about it and can't stop thinking about it due to anxiety. Also if I need to do something, I procrastinate on it until the last day and get anxious about handing it in on time.

The vice versa way would be that if I'm worrying about something, all symptoms related to ADHD are worse (concentration, thinking, organizing, stopping impulsivity). I don't realize what's happening on the outside. It's like hyperfocus, but negatively.

If I somehow magically got rid of interrupting, then people would probably want to be around me and feel wanted. Well, at least more. People would be less annoyed at me too. Maybe serious conversations would be taken more seriously if I didn't interrupt them? I don't know. I actually didn't realize I interrupt people often until my family pointed it out to me, lol.

Social anxiety disorder, GAD, OCD, and panic attacks

Lexapro, 10 mg

Thank you for responding again that must be so difficult to deal with and if you missed something important it will look like you don't care. I can understand how they're both as bad as eachother. Do you find yourself more motivated last minute though? I know i do although i don't have ADHD i know what it feels like to have no motivation to do something until the last minute.

People that make you feel like you're not welcome or wanted shouldn't be in your life, you should surround yourself with people who take you as you are it might make it seem more serious however it might also lighten the subject. For instance i've i have a heart to heart with my friend and she interrupts me after i said what i wanted to it makes it easier for me as she doesn't dwell on it you know? She's heard what i want to say and hasn't fixated on it making me feel more comfortable talking to her about stuff i find it hard to talk about.

Thanks again

Claire

Thank you for responding again that must be so difficult to deal with and if you missed something important it will look like you don't care. I can understand how they're both as bad as eachother. Do you find yourself more motivated last minute though? I know i do although i don't have ADHD i know what it feels like to have no motivation to do something until the last minute.

People that make you feel like you're not welcome or wanted shouldn't be in your life, you should surround yourself with people who take you as you are it might make it seem more serious however it might also lighten the subject. For instance i've i have a heart to heart with my friend and she interrupts me after i said what i wanted to it makes it easier for me as she doesn't dwell on it you know? She's heard what i want to say and hasn't fixated on it making me feel more comfortable talking to her about stuff i find it hard to talk about.

Thanks again

Claire

Being able to have graduated from schools.

I was a great student in the subjects I liked, but I wouldn't even attend the classes I didn't. Believe it or not, I still got pretty far doing this. I would see the futility in what I was doing and quit, or I knew I was going to take a different, easier path and drop out of the tough road.

Thank you for saying ADHD is a good thing to have and that those who have it are interesting.

It sounds like you don't feel you are interesting enough. Why not?

I don't really find I'm more motivated last minute, it's just I don't want to hand in anything late so I do it last minute.

Thanks for that . I like having the mood set to what it should be though because I don't want people to think of me as a joke, but...

Social anxiety disorder, GAD, OCD, and panic attacks

Lexapro, 10 mg

Thank you for replying i appreciate it yikes that must of been frustrating cause you know what you're capable of when it's your interests but things like i dunno Maths, english essays etc are too boring to even attempt i get that completely that's what i do haha.

That seems fair enough if you don't like it don't do it i wish i had done that it was of saved a lot of unnecessary stress. What i done with my ADD friend was anytime she literally couldn't do the boring homework/coursework i'd do it for her so it would take the stress off her and she could focus on the work she enjoyed. Anytime she would try to do the boring stuff i'd work on it with her so we do it together and kill 2 birds with 1 stone. Anytime it was really last minute or she didn't know what to do i'd do it for her to stop her from getting overwhelmed, upset etc.

Yeah i do think it's wicked just being always on the go living life to the full the ups are euphoric and the downs make life interesting as well as enhancing the good times. I know a few people with it and they're the most compassionate, spontaneous, lovable, funniest and most intelligent people i have ever met.

It's such a joy to be in their presence and i love them to pieces. People like myself (non-ADHD'ers) are boring, life is smoother and less interesting, everything is kinda predictable whereas my ADHD friends can't predict 1 minute to the next and i love it. Just being able to put every thought together simultaneously like a jigsaw puzzle at ease.

All the best people have it and they are the best because they have it. Richard branson dropped out of school or college and look how successful he is. Einstein believed that he wouldn't of been able to make the ground breaking research had he not of had ADHD.

Thanks again

Claire

Thanks for replying ahh okay so you're kinda paranoid about it being on time that's fair enough i can get why you'd feel that way. No problem i can also understand that, i have an anxiety disorder so i try my hardest just to fit in without sticking out otherwise i'll be a target. Some people can just be small minded if they think of you as a joke then leave them to it cause you're not and you shouldn't change yourself just so others like you

Thanks again

Claire

My disorganization. Everything distracts me, so I accomplish very little. Is there a pill for this?

Thank you so much for sharing that i appreciate it i'm not an expert but i'm sure if you try the different meds available for ADHD and see what works best. There are other techniques to manage it naturally such as refraining from sugary things, putting headphones on or even exercise to name a few

Good luck

Thanks again

Claire

The terminology isn't derived from the medical leixcon. I think most people, even doctors, don't really believe it is much more than a behavioral thing. You can get cut down just on the basis of this arrogant viewpoint that we have fancy drugs for children. Where were these people during the industrial revolution? Where's their family crest, where's their sheepskin? What's this cowardice in the brave new world? Why is everything we put into tap water for dental health?

Thank you for responding that is a very interesting view point. My question to you is if you were PM or President what would you do to help those who want to control their ADHD to fit societies requirements?

Claire