[booksnmyhead]

I think I might have ADHD. I had my first appointment with a psychologist about two weeks ago. It didn't go well. I got nervous and just started saying things and I wasn't very honest because I was afraid of the judgement. I spent the entire next day researching and a lot of the symptoms associated with ADHD were like aha thats why I do that. I first decided that I needed help when I was sitting at an intersection and realized I had no idea how I got there. Ya see, I write books in my head; like all the time. I thought it was some weird thing I did and I didn't want anyone to know. After reading online I think it might be advanced daydreaming. I forget things all the time! Like big things. Like leaving the dryer on for two days cause I can't figure out how to make the timer work kinda things. I forget and mess things up so often my name has become a verb; like, I really booksnmyheaded that up.I know they don't mean any harm and think it's just funny, but sometimes it hurts. As I am writing this I am getting a bit emotional but I don't what to stop and take a break because I know I won't ever finish if I do. So please excuse any typos, misspellings, and ramblings. I don't have many friends and I have even less now. See, we moved from the states to Germany a year ago. I think that is what really made all of my problems, if you want to call them that, come to light. I no longer have all of my support system. It is hard to meet new people because the first couple of times we met people when we got here I would get nervous and then start saying things and later thought maybe I shouldn't have. Or it was really crowed and I just got like antsy or something. So now when we meet new people I try to just sit back and stay as quite as possible so I don't embarrass myself. I try to keep in touch with my family and friends back home but it is hard. I think about calling them and then because of the time difference I wait and then just forget or I text them and forget to hit send or find out later that I only texted them back in my head. So now they all think I just don't have time for them which isn't true. I don't work anymore which is a big one for me. I am a teacher and, looking back, I see that I needed that fast paced day. My kids kept me on track. I always just thought it was because I was tired, but looking back after they left for the day I would ramble around and do less important things like decorating the door even though grades were do and I'd just look at the stack of ungraded papers and think I'll do that in a bit. Often, in a bit never came so I would grade papers the day they are due as I teach that days lesson. The doctor said that I seem to have low self esteem. Maybe a little, but not really. My problem is more that I have a ton of really awesome ideas and no where to put them just now. I don't have my mom, and friends to keep me on task. I never realized it until now, I thought they were just being annoying, always stopping by and asking if I remembered to do this or that. I'm not a failure. I didn't finish high school. I mean I got my GED and later went to college and finished that with honors. So, I can do things, they are just hard. I feel like this is getting too long; so I guess what I want to ask is this: Does this sound like anything you have experienced? Do you think I am on the right track with ADHD? How do I go about talking to my doctor about what I think? Is it okay you ask to be tested for ADHD? I want him to take me seriously and not just say "oh everyone thinks that have that" Okay I am going to stop for now.

[Skeezyks]

Hello booksnmyhead: Well... the Skeezyks can't answer all of your questions. I'm not a mental health professional & I don't know all that much about ADHD. But having read your introductory post, & now this one, I would like to suggest that, from my perspective, the thing to do here is to continue to seek a therapist with whom you feel comfortable. Then work consistently (& forthrightly) with that person over a period of time. This is the way to delve into what is going on with you & to figure out what to do about it. (And then, in conjunction with this effort, continue to come here to PC to seek support.)

As I presume you're aware, we here on PC, cannot diagnose you. Yes, you may get some replies to your posts from members who will be able to offer their perspectives with regard to what you wrote... and I hope you do. But realistically, these are simply going to be personal opinions based on very little information (as is mine.) How definitive can they be?

I've actually never been given a formal diagnosis by any of the mental health professionals I've seen over the years. So I don't actually know what mine would be. But, quite a few years ago now, I read the book: Lost in the Mirror which is about Borderline Personality Disorder. As I read it I thought: "OMG... this is me!" The reality is it probably isn't me anymore. But it sounded as though it certainly could have been years ago. (I've been told BPD tends to burn itself out as one ages.) But the reality is I don't really know. My experience at least has been that it's easy to read different things about various mental health diagnoses & find lots of things that can cause one to think s/he has that particular disorder. That doesn't make it so.

The reality of the situation is (in my humble opinion) that figuring out what is actually going on with a person, in terms of mental health issues, is a process that takes time & effort. I don't personally believe that even a doctor or a psychologist can make that kind of determination based on one meeting with a client. People are simply too complex. It takes time & the gradual development of insight to really figure out what is going on with a person & then to identify ways in which a person's struggles can be remedied. So my hope for you is that you will continue to seek a therapist with whom you feel comfortable & with whom you can establish an ongoing working relationship in order to address the concerns you have described in your posts. I wish you well...

[booksnmyhead]

I appreciate your reply. I totally get what you are saying. It really helped to remind me that this is a journey, but like most people, I just want it solved now. I know that is unrealistic, but a girl can dream right. I just want to know I am not alone and reading these post and seeing people who have find solutions is very encouraging.

[alwaysin6thgear]

Originally Posted by booksnmyhead

I think I might have ADHD. I had my first appointment with a psychologist about two weeks ago. It didn't go well. I got nervous and just started saying things and I wasn't very honest because I was afraid of the judgement. I spent the entire next day researching and a lot of the symptoms associated with ADHD were like aha thats why I do that. I first decided that I needed help when I was sitting at an intersection and realized I had no idea how I got there. Ya see, I write books in my head; like all the time. I thought it was some weird thing I did and I didn't want anyone to know. After reading online I think it might be advanced daydreaming. I forget things all the time! Like big things. Like leaving the dryer on for two days cause I can't figure out how to make the timer work kinda things. I forget and mess things up so often my name has become a verb; like, I really booksnmyheaded that up.I know they don't mean any harm and think it's just funny, but sometimes it hurts. As I am writing this I am getting a bit emotional but I don't what to stop and take a break because I know I won't ever finish if I do. So please excuse any typos, misspellings, and ramblings. I don't have many friends and I have even less now. See, we moved from the states to Germany a year ago. I think that is what really made all of my problems, if you want to call them that, come to light. I no longer have all of my support system. It is hard to meet new people because the first couple of times we met people when we got here I would get nervous and then start saying things and later thought maybe I shouldn't have. Or it was really crowed and I just got like antsy or something. So now when we meet new people I try to just sit back and stay as quite as possible so I don't embarrass myself. I try to keep in touch with my family and friends back home but it is hard. I think about calling them and then because of the time difference I wait and then just forget or I text them and forget to hit send or find out later that I only texted them back in my head. So now they all think I just don't have time for them which isn't true. I don't work anymore which is a big one for me. I am a teacher and, looking back, I see that I needed that fast paced day. My kids kept me on track. I always just thought it was because I was tired, but looking back after they left for the day I would ramble around and do less important things like decorating the door even though grades were do and I'd just look at the stack of ungraded papers and think I'll do that in a bit. Often, in a bit never came so I would grade papers the day they are due as I teach that days lesson. The doctor said that I seem to have low self esteem. Maybe a little, but not really. My problem is more that I have a ton of really awesome ideas and no where to put them just now. I don't have my mom, and friends to keep me on task. I never realized it until now, I thought they were just being annoying, always stopping by and asking if I remembered to do this or that. I'm not a failure. I didn't finish high school. I mean I got my GED and later went to college and finished that with honors. So, I can do things, they are just hard. I feel like this is getting too long; so I guess what I want to ask is this: Does this sound like anything you have experienced? Do you think I am on the right track with ADHD? How do I go about talking to my doctor about what I think? Is it okay you ask to be tested for ADHD? I want him to take me seriously and not just say "oh everyone thinks that have that" Okay I am going to stop for now.

Unlike the poster above, I do have ADD, my comments are based on experience and fact and NOT just my opinion. I also may be able to answer several of your questions.

From what you describe, do I think you have ADD/ADHD? There is a possibility. ADD/ADHD is very complex, it goes way beyond losing focus or forgetting things. What you need to do is find a therapist, weather its a LCSW, Psychologist, or Psychiatrist that is experienced with ADD, especially adult ADD. A LCSW would be less expensive, you can go to several appointments, talk over your concerns and other issues, at the same time he/she maybe watching your behavior, listening, to see how you converse. He/she may run some simple tests, this is done to see if you should be referred to a specialist who has the resources to perform a more in depth evaluation to get a more accurate diagnosis. There are other disorders that have some similar symptoms of ADD, they overlap, you don't want to get misdiagnosed. Any medical professional with any ethics or credibility will not make a diagnosis in one or two visits. I went to 8 appointments for a total of 10 hours before I was diagnosed. Going straight to an MD or Psychiatrist may give the appearance that you want to get on med's, many people that don't have ADD will memorize the symptoms and go straight to there longtime doctor for the stimulant medication, because of it's speed like effect meds like Ritalin and Adderall are popular and abused by college students and people with fast paced, high stress jobs like Wall St. finance workers. Stimulant medication has a much different effect on someone without ADD than someone with it. But the key is to find a therapist who specializes in adult ADD, once they spend sometime with you then they can determine if you should be referred for further testing. Once you get a proper diagnosis then you can work on a treatment plan, if medication becomes part of it then you may get referred to a psychiatrist who will then look at your diagnosis and medical history and give you a prescription. But if you want to be taken seriously you have to be patient. To many people that think they have it, and I'm not questioning you or anyone else, end up going to just any doctor or their PCP without investigating their knowledge of ADD. Many doctors know little about it or don't believe in it at all. Some doctors will see that you graduated college and tell you right off the bat that you can't possibly be ADD. So again, finding a therapist that is educated and experienced with adult ADD is key. Going to therapist that your comfortable with but has no knowledge of ADD will do more harm than good. ADD is a complex disorder that requires time to properly diagnose.