[Melmo]

Anyone else here have a problem with this? I have two kids who are 20 months and almost 7. I don't normally do well with chaos, screaming and often that is what is going on. My oldest has adhd so she is really hyper and usually loud which doesn't help things.
Some examples of difficult situations:
I'm cooking supper and they are at the kitchen table watching cartoons on my laptop. I'm keeping an eye on my toddler who likes to climb the table and I hear from my oldest "R is on the table! R is touching the laptop! R is turning off the video! (when she isn't even touching the laptop, she is just close to it so my oldest thinks she is going to touch it) on and on she yells constantly.
Another situation would be when my oldest is talking non stop about something she wants to tell me and my youngest is crying because she wants out of her highchair. I try to keep my youngest occupied in the chair because as soon as she comes out she is climbing the kitchen table, grabbing things she shouldn't be, just basically into everything. So the constant talking from my oldest and screaming from my toddler is just way too much.
We went out earlier to Walmart (had to take the bus since I don't drive) and it was a nightmare and I came home frustrated and stressed. I put my toddler in the playpen in the livingroom and turned on some cartoons while I make lunch but that didn't last long until she was screaming. I stuck some headphones in my ear with calming music because my anxiety has me on the verge of blowing up.
Advice?

[conchuot]

Hi Melmo, I can feel your frustration. Wow its like I'm in the middle of the storm you're experiencing. I have experienced the same with 16, 19 and 25 year olds but with yours being so young it would be hard to just disengage. This has got to be unbearable for you. May I ask, is there another adult with you for any type of relief/support? Also having experienced this from the other side, have your or your care giver thought about testing you for ADHD. Unfortunately my SO did not get diagnosed until 48 and the price paid by her and her children is significant. If so you could really use a lot of support. This is from Psychcentral: https://psychcentral.com/lib/parent-...gies-for-adhd/ Try at least to read the article. My thoughts and spirit are with you. May you have some peace this night.

[Melmo]

Originally Posted by stevobrown

Hi Melmo, I can feel your frustration. Wow its like I'm in the middle of the storm you're experiencing. I have experienced the same with 16, 19 and 25 year olds but with yours being so young it would be hard to just disengage. This has got to be unbearable for you. May I ask, is there another adult with you for any type of relief/support? Also having experienced this from the other side, have your or your care giver thought about testing you for ADHD. Unfortunately my SO did not get diagnosed until 48 and the price paid by her and her children is significant. If so you could really use a lot of support. This is from Psychcentral: https://psychcentral.com/lib/parent-...gies-for-adhd/ Try at least to read the article. My thoughts and spirit are with you. May you have some peace this night.

Thanks for responding. It does feel unbearable sometimes.
I am a single parent, so it's just me but my dad does take my oldest overnight every Friday night and my youngest too every second Friday night (he alternates between my neice and my youngest as taking all 3 is tough) so every second weekend I get a break.
I am currently in the process of being tested for adhd. My psychiatrist doesn't think I have adhd, and brushed it off when I mentioned that I thought I might have adhd or bipolar. He says all the symptoms are just because of my anxiety and depression. My family dr, who I have been seeing since I was a few years old and knows my parents and my family history, is working with me on the adhd because I told him that my psychiatrist is not listening to me. He believes I have adhd and bipolar because of my family history (my mom and daughter have adhd and my mom obv has more mental issues going on that she isn't being treated for) I am unsure if I actually have bipolar but I am convinced I have adhd and it's making my life a living hell.

[conchuot]

Hope you are doing better. I think you should pursue nailing down whether or not you do have adhd. Once done you can start to make the moves to improve your life and by extension the lives of your family. See the advice of your family doctor as there are many who really don't handle adhd well. Perhaps they can help you find psychiatrist with experience. Best of luck.

[Have Faith]

Wow, I never had anxiety and hypomania until my kids had grown up. Both of these illnesses can imitate adhd. I soooo feel for you, I get angry and irritated if I even drop a spoon on the floor! It must be so difficult not to be able to enjoy your childrens growing years. Are you seeking therapy or on any sedatives to help you get through? My heart is bleeding for you. Don't feel selfish if you have an opportunity to take a breather every now and then...I realize you may have very few chances to do so when kids are that young. Let them zone out on the tv if you can, don't feel guilty... It's so sad when 'norms' can't understand that our issues are real...

[BlueMerleGirl]

Yes I do. I get angry so easily and slam and throw things and have outbursts. It's mostly at home, at work I just hold it in unless no one is watching or sometimes I get upset and call my husband for support. I am trying so hard to work on it. My daughter is a toddler now and I don't want to scare her with my frustration although I don't really get upset toward her. Good luck working it out. Are you in therapy or on meds?

[jerin0121]

"low frustration tolerance" is often a factor in creating more pressure and can lead to anger and rage.

[Melmo]

Originally Posted by BlueMerleGirl

Yes I do. I get angry so easily and slam and throw things and have outbursts. It's mostly at home, at work I just hold it in unless no one is watching or sometimes I get upset and call my husband for support. I am trying so hard to work on it. My daughter is a toddler now and I don't want to scare her with my frustration although I don't really get upset toward her. Good luck working it out. Are you in therapy or on meds?

I take venlafaxine, risperidone and Ritalin. It helps a lot. But I still get angry more than I would like to.

[Melmo]

Originally Posted by jerin0121

"low frustration tolerance" is often a factor in creating more pressure and can lead to anger and rage.

Oh I have definitely experienced rage. I remember one situation in particular when I was pregnant, and on the phone with my mom and we were arguing. I blew up and started yelling and screaming and when I hung up I was so angry, I slammed the cabinet door. I later noticed I broke the hinge on the cabinet. I have also in the past slammed things, thrown things (I once threw a chair across the kitchen) this doesn't happen too often but it does happen and I am ashamed of it.

[RainyDay107]

I can relate. I was certain I wanted two children and quickly realized one was plenty for me, lol. I really need a calm environment. Interestingly, my daughter is the same and she's only a teenager.

I don't get angry, but very anxious and frazzled. Distracted.

Kudos to all the moms and dads!

PS: I have bipolar 1, but I have ADD inattentive-like symptoms.

[RainyDay107]

Originally Posted by Melmo

Anyone else here have a problem with this? I have two kids who are 20 months and almost 7. I don't normally do well with chaos, screaming and often that is what is going on. My oldest has adhd so she is really hyper and usually loud which doesn't help things.
Some examples of difficult situations:
I'm cooking supper and they are at the kitchen table watching cartoons on my laptop. I'm keeping an eye on my toddler who likes to climb the table and I hear from my oldest "R is on the table! R is touching the laptop! R is turning off the video! (when she isn't even touching the laptop, she is just close to it so my oldest thinks she is going to touch it) on and on she yells constantly.
Another situation would be when my oldest is talking non stop about something she wants to tell me and my youngest is crying because she wants out of her highchair. I try to keep my youngest occupied in the chair because as soon as she comes out she is climbing the kitchen table, grabbing things she shouldn't be, just basically into everything. So the constant talking from my oldest and screaming from my toddler is just way too much.
We went out earlier to Walmart (had to take the bus since I don't drive) and it was a nightmare and I came home frustrated and stressed. I put my toddler in the playpen in the livingroom and turned on some cartoons while I make lunch but that didn't last long until she was screaming. I stuck some headphones in my ear with calming music because my anxiety has me on the verge of blowing up.
Advice?

As far as advice, I think you're putting too much on yourself. Watching young children is a job in and of itself. You need help, I think. I'd do the shopping on my own. I wouldn't cook every night unless Dad or a babysitter watched the kids. You can't do it all.