[jennifer02]

Hi everybody, I have been with my bf for quite some time I am 28 years old and he is in his late 30’s, and right now were not talking due to some misunderstandings, he happens to have undiagnosed ADHD and it kind of runs in his family, yet he has never been to a proper doctor to get diagnosed, but he insists he has it in a ‘‘Mild spectrum’‘.
I have done a lot of research and I can tell he has it from miles away. his BEHAVIOR says it all.

I have been curious to whether it’s normal to feel, alone, sad, hopeless, helpless and basically as if he did not love me, cause that’s how I feel, he dissapears for a week or 2 neither calls or text me, it has been a weird relationship to be honest, since day 1 I felt something was off with his behavior and I could not put my finger on it, later he told me, that he thinks he has ADHD, because he had a lot of trouble with concentration, basically had to read paragraphs a couple of times to understand what he was studying, it was frustrating for him, he even asked me If I knew a technique for him to study faster, cause he is slow.
He also happens to have what I would call’’ a sensorial issue’’ for some reason when I touch in a sweet manner the nape of his neck, he tells me that my hands feel sweaty, when in fact there dry and not sweaty at all. he is very messy(hoarder type of messy), he’s impulsive and has no patience at all, loses a lot of his stuff, blurts out innappropriate things at time.

Sometimes he does not even remember where he places things,his hygiene is kind of inconsistent,(to me I feel he has some sort of depression and anxiety in the mix) One day he can be all mature and nice and then 10 days it seems like he just woke up in the wrong side of the bed, acting CHILDISH, like they say a ‘‘MAN-CHILD’’ with like a weird mood,, I want him but all of this is very exhausting and really sucks me dry, I feel sad,my energy feels drained.I feel alone,Basically like if I was not even in a relationship. I really don’t know if this can work in the future, I have the HOPES,but don’t rely on them.

[conchuot]

Hi Jennifer02, Welcome to the forums. First let me say I empathized BIG TIME! I suggest you look around at some of the discussion in all these forums. There is a wealth of information. I don't know you at all but having been where you are let me say this. Your statement says it all "I want him but all of this is very exhausting and really sucks me dry, I feel sad, my energy feels drained. I feel alone,Basically like if I was not even in a relationship." From my experience this is what you get. Let me guess, you are a kind compassionate giving person? You are young and this is the kind of relationship you will get...at best. It can improve but it will take tons of work, years and cooperation which generally you will not get. Read some of the other posts around and see what you think. It really grates on me to say these things but here and other related websites with related forums will spell it out for you. Look at other related discussions. Then think about it and write some more. Lookup ADDitude website and adhdmarraige as well. Start here: https://psychcentral.com/blog/archiv...rried-to-adhd/ MAKE SURE YOU READ THE DISCUSSION AND COMMENTS AFTER THE ARTICLE.

All the best. Keep us posted