[Melinda2boys]

Hi-

My 9 year old was just diagnosed with ADHD, Asperger's, ODD, and depression. He is taking Concerta. My 8 year old was diagnosed with ADHD and he is taking Strattera. I feel like I am caught in a tornado and I don't know what to do next. Any ideas for a confused mother??

[sunrise]

Maybe a support group for parents of children with ADD? Then you could trade ideas and information and get support for the challenges you and your kids face.

I found there is a support group that is free right where I work for adults with ADD. I might go one of these times. So look around and you may find one for parents. You can ask your doctor or the ADD expert who diagnosed your kids for info on support groups.

Another idea might be to go see a therapist who has a speciality in ADD. This would be for support and information for yourself. My therapist recommended such a person for me (for adult ADHD) as something that might be helpful. I looked into this therapist and found he ran support groups as well as provided individual counseling with skills training. I didn't go see him, but it was nice to know he exists in case I decide to see him later. Perhaps you could find someone similar to counsel you. Even if short-term, it could be helpful in not only providing support, but ideas for solving problems.

A very good friend of mine has 2 sons with ADD. One took medication and is now almost ready to graduate college. He came off the meds sometime in high school and did OK. The younger one took meds for a while but came off them sometime in middle school because the side effects were so negative. He had trouble sleeping, he couldn't gain weight, so he was a wispy boy, and got pushed around a lot by the brawnier boys. And this meant he couldn't play on the football team because he couldn't gain weight. He just didn't like his personality either and begged his mom to come off the drugs. What do you say to a child who says, "mom, please don't make me take those drugs"? Such a dilemma. Anyway, he did come off the drugs and struggled throughout high school. He is barely passing his classes and barely graduating this spring. He did get to play football, though, and loved it. And he has been happy to be more his true personality, than how he was when taking the stimulants. What will he do now that he is out of school? My friend found no support for managing ADD without meds. The philosophy of her HMO was once diagnosed, the child needs meds. There was no support for skills training, behavioral modification, support groups, and other non-drug interventions. They were basically left on their own if they didn't use meds.

I don't know if that information is helpful or not. Such hard decisions for parents to make and such difficult challenges no matter what.

I hear you!

Please feel free to pm me for mutual support... since I've got a 10 -year - old son with Aspergers and ADHD... and I also have Aspergers myself.

Hang in there... one day at a time!

[Melinda2boys]

Thank you. That is really good information. I will see if there are support groups locally. I will also ask the psychologist at the next visit.

[Melinda2boys]

Daynnight-I can't pm you yet because I haven't posted 6 times. I would like to find out more information from you though like what you find works and doesn't.

[chaotic13]

I liked Sunrise's suggestion regarding getting yourself some support as well. Sounds like you have your hands full. Just trying to deal with being a parent to two young boys is hard enough, I can't imagine what I'd do in your shoes. Support doesn't have to be hired support, maybe just a few friends to go out with 1 night a week. Do you have a partner to help you stay grounded and to help pull you away from it all once in a while?

my e-mail address: timespace@live.se
if you feel like getting in touch

((((((((((((( you & your sons ))))))))))

[sunrise]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Melinda2boys said:
Daynnight-I can't pm you yet because I haven't posted 6 times.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Melinda, just post 3 more times in a row in this thread to get to your six. You don't need to say anything. I'm sure people will understand.

[Melinda2boys]

Thank you all for the help. It is nice to have someone to talk to.

[Melinda2boys]

Another think that is so frustrating is my son with Asperger's/ADHD also has Oppositional Defian Disorder. He lies all the time. I don't know how to make it stop. From he lost his toy car to he is really sick. Right now he is saying he is having chest pain, but I took him to the dr yesterday and they checked his heart, oxygen, lungs and everything was normal. He is taking Concerta so I worry about what he says but I don't know if its the truth or not. I don't want to not believe him. He is doing a lot better in school. I just want to help him the best I can.

[Melinda2boys]

Oh how do you help a child with Asperger's meet and keep friends?

[sunrise]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Melinda2boys said:
Oh how do you help a child with Asperger's meet and keep friends?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I have a daughter who is very introspective, doesn't interact well with people, and doesn't really have friends. I don't know if she has Asperger's or not, but maybe. She has one extracurricular activity that she has managed to keep up over the years, which is soccer. I really encourage her to stick with this. She has known this group of girls on her team for about 7 years. I can't say she is good friends with any of them, but they know her and will talk to her at the practices and games. So this is one place where she gets some interaction with peers. Otherwise, she would be solo 100% of the time and never interact with kids her age. Her teachers have told me that she doesn't really talk to other kids at school. So my advice is to keep them involved in an activity or two, preferably with a stable peer group (kids not changing every year, at least not too much).

If you have any other ideas, I would love to hear them.

[Melinda2boys]

That is a good idea sunrise. He isn't interested in to much but I will start trying things to see what he enjoys and get him interested in something.