[chicagian]

Ill start from today and work my way back. Today my roomate offered me Adderhol xr 20 mg, I am not a recreational drug user by any means. However, I always wished to see what effect it would have on me (I always have had ideas that I have ADD). I know, taking it was not a good idea and dangerous but what is done is done.
The effects it had on me are a little confusing. I felt a little buzzed / high but I also felt calm as calm as I ever remebered being. Usually im always doing a million things at once wether it is online or watching tv talking on the phone. However, I digress I dont think I should reverse diagnose my problems. By using a drug as the standard.

Now going further back I want to tell you about my symptoms. My largest problem is with work, school, and at one point my term of military. Every job I have ever had I barely able to maintain always just sneaking by with the minimal amount of quality workmenship. I have no shorterm memory what so ever, for an example if I try to memorize 4 sentances (when I actully motivate my self to do it) it could take me hours and hours and I still cannot get the words right.

Now going back to when I was in the military. I had huge problems in the military I almost got court marshaled a few times. Mostly for attention to detail. I would always miss little things partly cause of laziness partly because even if I tried I still would miss details. I some times think the laziness comes from being scared to screw things up. I live under the idea why try if I am just going to screw it up.

Now back to the Adderall I do not know what to think. I kinda feel euphoric and cloudy, and on the other hand I feel normal like for the first time in my life I can consentrate on something. A great example is this post, in the past I would never write a post like this but with the Adderhol It feels relaxing and easy. However, I am quite scared of the side effects but am tired of living feeling like and idiot with no memory who always losing things including there job. I dont want to use a drug to cheat I just dont want to feel unmotivated and have a lost feeling.

Anyways thanks you for reading this. This is probly the longest post I ever had in my life but even as I brag about the concentration powers I have dry mouth and my leg is shaking. So I dont know what to think.

I know you are going to tell me not to self diagnose and to go see a doctor and I wish I could afford it while I go to college. I may still try to find away to do it if I can find away to pay for it.

P.S. (I dont plan to abuse adderhol anymore it was a one time thing so save the warnings =) )

P.S.S there are a few more examples I could give if you wish to ask to help mey self diagnose. =P

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by chicagian

Ill start from today and work my way back. Today my roomate offered me Adderhol xr 20 mg, I am not a recreational drug user by any means. However, I always wished to see what effect it would have on me (I always have had ideas that I have ADD). I know, taking it was not a good idea and dangerous but what is done is done.
The effects it had on me are a little confusing. I felt a little buzzed / high but I also felt calm as calm as I ever remebered being. Usually im always doing a million things at once wether it is online or watching tv talking on the phone. However, I digress I dont think I should reverse diagnose my problems. By using a drug as the standard.

Now going further back I want to tell you about my symptoms. My largest problem is with work, school, and at one point my term of military. Every job I have ever had I barely able to maintain always just sneaking by with the minimal amount of quality workmenship. I have no shorterm memory what so ever, for an example if I try to memorize 4 sentances (when I actully motivate my self to do it) it could take me hours and hours and I still cannot get the words right.

Now going back to when I was in the military. I had huge problems in the military I almost got court marshaled a few times. Mostly for attention to detail. I would always miss little things partly cause of laziness partly because even if I tried I still would miss details. I some times think the laziness comes from being scared to screw things up. I live under the idea why try if I am just going to screw it up.

Now back to the Adderall I do not know what to think. I kinda feel euphoric and cloudy, and on the other hand I feel normal like for the first time in my life I can consentrate on something. A great example is this post, in the past I would never write a post like this but with the Adderhol It feels relaxing and easy. However, I am quite scared of the side effects but am tired of living feeling like and idiot with no memory who always losing things including there job. I dont want to use a drug to cheat I just dont want to feel unmotivated and have a lost feeling.

Anyways thanks you for reading this. This is probly the longest post I ever had in my life but even as I brag about the concentration powers I have dry mouth and my leg is shaking. So I dont know what to think.

I know you are going to tell me not to self diagnose and to go see a doctor and I wish I could afford it while I go to college. I may still try to find away to do it if I can find away to pay for it.

P.S. (I dont plan to abuse adderhol anymore it was a one time thing so save the warnings =) )

P.S.S there are a few more examples I could give if you wish to ask to help mey self diagnose. =P

Howdy ((((chicagian)))))
I never did understand when people said they could get high off of the XR (extended release) stimulants, but everyone's tolerance level varies and the dosage requirements vary from one person to another (even when legitimately prescribed and used for ADHD). Does your roommate have ADHD or is he a recreational or study aid user? Just curious. Most people I know that have illegally used stimulants in college did so for a study advantage.

At my university, and I'd imagine at most universities across the US, they have Student Health Services and a "University Counseling Services" or similar named service center for psychology/psychiatry visits that are absolutely 100% free, as the small student health fee you pay with tuition services are paid at the beginning of each semester.

I think what you are describing could be a number of things, and if you really do have ADHD that has gone undiagnosed for most of your life you could very well have a comorbid disorder (anxiety disorders and mood disorders like Major Depressive Disorder are commonly found). Either way, anxiety disorders can cause the symptoms you describe, but then so can depressive disorders. ADHD does not equal laziness as a part of the equation, and being "lazy" isn't a diagnostic term for any mental disorder that I'm aware of. Perhaps you just FEEL lazy, but it depends on what your personal standards are in that regard.

You going to college in the US? If so, I'm sure your university has a website for the services I mentioned above. At my college, they have one psychologist who will do an assessment for ADHD that includes all of these specific neuropsychological tests (helps in diagnosis of ADHD and identifying problem areas in cognitive functioning), which are conducted by these technicians. Then, the psychologist interprets the tests and interviews you and does a mental status assessment. The testing part, which is required at my college--runs about $40 bucks total (the counseling is free, the testing isn't), can't remember the exact cost--in any event way cheaper than the private sector.

What do you know about what your university offers in this regard?
I can always help you look on your university website if you need help finding stuff.