[itsjustme111]

I wanted to tell everyone that my son is doing pretty good right now. His headaches are calming down significantly and his behavior is darn good too.

He had some "spells" at school but I have been talking a lot with them this past week and he is really working hard. They gave him a new excersise to do, with reading, and man is he kicking butt. We work on it together at night and he has improved dramatically. It is challenging, thats what he needs. His tests in class are awesome. Nothing has been below an 80%. So proud of him!!

His next appointment with the specialist is on the 28th. I am happy that his headaches has gotten better, one a week on the average which is wonderful for him. Not like daily ones nor migraines. Hurray!!!

Justy

[silver_queen]

yay Justy, it is so great to read that he is improving both in health and academically. He sounds a son to be proud of! I'm pleased for you both!

[Nerak]

Good to hear he is doing better ((((((((((((Justy)))))))))))))

[itsjustme111]

Thanks silver and Nerak. What can I say: he has much to be proud of!!!

And I gave both of my kids an incentive to keep working hard. I think it is a wonderful incentive as they are really excited about it!!

Justy

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((( justy )))))))))))))

that's wonderful news!

care to share your incentive? if it's private, please disregard, but this old lady's gonna need all the help she can get with her little man i think

love,

kd

[itsjustme111]

Of course I would love to share this.

My kids love money; lolol, most kids do. I don't have tons of money but its what I have taught them about money. Its hard to come by and people work very hard to provide their families or if by themselves, to provide the life they want.

So the incentive has to do with money but not just that simple. My kids have bank accounts that money has been deposited by their grandparents, myself, and what they have contributed. They are very proud of watching this grow: and its locked in for when they turn 18. So this incentive is not for this account. This is for what they feel or think they may want to use it for. My kids have wasted money before, I let them make these mistakes as they are intellengent. When its all gone, its gone. So they have learned to "stretch" this money as it does not grow on trees.

This money that they work for is for the effort they put in. I told them that we have been talking about a vaction for a long time and if they work hard in school, earn some money for our plans, they will see that this hard work has paid off. It has taken a few years for us to work together in efforts that they should be thank-full for what they do have. It has been tough at times as kids are kids. They want what they see on TV, what their friends have etc. But my kids can pass a charity set up in the mall, or a store and they stop and ask me what this is for. I tell them as best as I can and my kids have put their last five dollars in this as they know that they have much to be thank-full for: many unfortunte people suffer, not knowing where their next meal will come from.

At Christmas time there was a charity set up at the store. It was for our residence here, the Christmas fund for kids that would not be able to celebrate this holiday as their family is struggling. So I stopped, reached in my purse, and put $40 dollars in the "dish". (lack of better words). Both of my kids asked why I had put this money in. I told them what this was for and they too placed $5 each inside. I had to hold back tears as my pride could not have reached any higher just looking at those two.

I thought my kids would leave it at this. But when we got home my son started to cry. I was puzzled and questioned him to his sudden upset. He said that he keeps thinking about those kids and families. He asked me if the money we gave was for "gifts". I said yes. But it is not just for the material things that they will receive, this money also goes towards a meal that they also deserve. He asked what would happen if other people did not give. I told him that there are many people that try to give as much as they can. That others want to see these people have what they should, until hopefully oneday these families can recover and are able to live without worrying where the food, bill money, where they will live, and all that we have, pray that they will have this as well. He looked at me with those big blue eyes, smiled and said, "I love you mom."

So its not just the money. Its not my way of "bribing" my kids into working hard. I want them to know that in life, hard work will pay off. And not just for their pocket book, but for the others that we try to help. And at the end of the school year, the reward will be great, but the bigest reward is looking at how far they have come. It may be small, just a little climb, but not to be dismissed. As not just in school do my kids work hard to succeed but in all aspects in growing into the people that they are.

I am sorry for this loaded response. But without the explanation that I gave, it would not hold the meaning behind it.

Good luck in your journey with ur little man. Frustrating at times, but we sure learn a lot from our little ones. They teach us just as much, as we teach them. Oh, and what my kids are not aware of: 3 years ago, at Christmas, I had to go for help as well. I did not have the finances to make any kind of special day for them. I received help from those others who stopped to think that they do make a huge difference in others lives by placing that "donation" in this dish. And it did not just help us through this difficult time: it helped me grow as well. I now too stop and think about these people who need help as it is still is close to home.

Justy

[h0kie]

(((((Justy)))))

Everytime I read about you and your relationship with your kids I want to give you a big . You are a fantastic mom! You sound a lot like my mom.

Anyway, what a great incentive! I've learned through teaching that it is AMAZING what kids think is a reward. I used to think it would take big things: pizza parties, ice cream parties, movie days, etc. But kids love little things, like eating lunch with their teacher or a few extra minutes to play or computer time. Things I take for granted!

Your kids are lucky to have such a great mom!

[itsjustme111]

AAAWWW, you finished off my wonderful evening. This was so wonderful to read and I thank you as my smile could not get any bigger.

These things are huge incentives as well. I just know what motivates my kids and trust me: ice cream, movies, eating lunch with the teacher are great incentives as well. I decided on the money as we have worked hard to learn about what comes with money.

And computer time is right up there!!!! Especially as they bought each other a computer game for Christmas.

I just wanted to tell u about our night. My kids spent some time when they got home, just playing and talking with me. Then we did homework together. My daughter did not have assigned homework but we are working on her math skills. Man, she is amazing. I gave her division questions that are past what they have been doing in school. And she rocked!!! I helped her a little with one question, but she just needed that little reassurance that she could figure it out. And she did, all correct!!

My son was awesome. He has a new spelling list today. He gets a new one every Monday. He also got them all correct, and they were tough. Then we worked on math, reading, comprehension--without one argument. He did his work and completed it very well. So the reward was: playing a game together, what ever they decided. We played "break the safe". It is a new game in our home, first time any of us have played. By the time they had to head up for showers, we were all sore from laughing so darn hard. And I am still giggling at those two. But when I said bed time, they asked for just one more....but I had to say no as the morning comes too soon. But I promised that if they complete their work like they did today, we will play tomorrow night as well.

So cool hey!!! Many incentives work, just need to find the ones that work for your kids and is attainable for you.

Justy

[h0kie]

We have Break the Safe too, Justy. I like it because it is one of the few games where you have to work as a team (TOGETHER) instead of compete against each other.

You're kids sound as great as you. You're doing great by them and karma will come back around.

So glad you and your kids are doing well.

[itsjustme111]

My son has brought home several quizes and exams. Most of them have been 96% and up. He had one that was 66% but I told him that he did his best and that's what counts. You can't win them all. His reading has improved so much that when he brings his work home, I have to go somewhere else and cry...just out of amazment and joy. This new system that we have for him is working very well. He is graded everyday by his aid. He gets a mark out of 10. Anything 7 and above he gets rewarded for. He has only had one day that his focus just was not there. But he did not misbehave, just could not concentrate. So his piggy bank is getting heavy; lolol. I remind him before school to try his best and aim for 10 out of 10. For 7 out of 10 he gets a quarter, 8 he gets 50 cents, 9-75 cents, and 10 he gets a dollar. He usually gets 7 but has had 8 a few times. It has helped sooooo much; not just in his behavior but his school work as well. He is so smart and I remind him everyday that he CAN DO IT. When they tested his IQ, it was beyond his grade level. We all know he is a smarty pants-just needs to focus and with the help of his aid, he will kick butt.

My daughter is struggling though. I am really concerned about her. I have talked to her teacher several times. There are two girls bullying her and it needs to stop. We had a meeting and came up with a plan. I told her teacher that she comes home crying everyday and I won't allow my daughter to be bullied like this and they dare not send home a "conduct report" if she sticks up for herself. My kids know that I don't allow aggression BUT if someone is hurting them, I fully support them in fending for themselves. I mean not beating someone up but to stick up for who they are is important or they will always be walked on. We are relieved that her grades are doing alright. She got an 88% on her unit exam which counts as 50% of her mark for this report period coming up. She was so worried about this test but I helped her study, quized her and worked on what she struggled with. I am so proud of her for working so hard. And of course she also get rewarded. Money works wonders for kids; lolol. But the most impressive part about my kids is the fact that they don't waste their money. My daughter bought clothes, "girly stuff" that made her feel special. But we already know how special she is. I took them shopping about a week ago and bought my daughter a couple of skirts and a pretty pink blouse. My son only wanted a t-shirt of his favorite hockey team. They have worked so hard, they deserved to go and pick something that their efforts have proved that they can do it. It brought up my little girls spirits. Their father has not called or seen them in 3 weeks-as much as I worry about them when they are with him-its just so unfair to them. They asked about him last night and my daughter called him, but no answer or phone call back. Such a shame isn't it. They started calling him by his first name-I worry about this as I don't want him to become angry-but I can't control what the kids say when I am not there. I just told them that he is their dad and he does love them, its just that he is having a tough time right now and not to blame themselves. I honestly don't know what the hell his problem is and the only time I don't worry about the kids when he does take anytime with them is when his gf is with them as she won't tolerate any abusive ways. I really do like her. The kids seem to enjoy her which makes things much easier for them.

So we will keep this up and in the end, they will be on top as they strive to always do the best they can--and to me, that is what counts.

Justy

[h0kie]

I love hearing about your kids Justy. You're such a great mom! Your kids will remember that when they get older.

Is changing schools an option for your daughter? Bullying is such a problem in todays schools. I wish there was something we could do to stop it. No child deserves to be bullied. I just want to smack the bullies!

I had a kid in afterschool tutoring who's behavior improved an unreal amount after he started getting better in his reading. It must be so frustrating for a child to sit in a classroom (anything over 2nd grade) and not be able to read. It's ALL reading after that age.

Sorry I'm rambling...had an incident at school myself...and it's on my mind. If nothing else, Justy...you're a mom that cares....your children have no idea (now) how lucky they truly are. A caring parent makes all the difference. I commend you.

[silver_queen]

Justy, i love the time and care you take to look after your kids. It sounds like they're doing great, you're encouraging them to stretch themselves and improve, which is cool. The reward system you have in place is a really good idea too. I'm sorry that your daughter's being bullied, children can be so cruel sometimes. I hope the bullying is resolved soon.

[foggydd]

I love seeing proud parents when their kids start making progress.

Too cool...