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#1
Sep 07, 2008, 09:43 PM
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I was just diagnose with ADD about three months ago but at age 27 my parents decided to tell me that I had fetal alchohol syndrom and possible ADD.
 What makes me so mad is that they knew all this long and decided not to get help for me. All during school I was treated like an idiot and labeled a moron and so much more. I am married to a wonderful man but sometimes I wonder if he doesn't know what it's like to have ADD. I have two kids and I love them but I am around them 24/7 and with no real family support I don't see how I am ever going to get through this. I have a reall difficult problem making and keeping friends and I can't figure out why? For example I had a sitter that I was really close friends with and we attend the same church and now for some strange reason she won't even look me in the eye. I don't know what I did to hurt the situation or damage the friendship but if I knew what it was I would fix it. I am currently on Adderall and Strettera for my ADD but I took myself off the adderall cause it's been causeing complications with my menstrual cycles and since I have been off it  I have been a real basket case and I mean literally. With out any friends or support I get depressed real easily and there are no support groups for ADD in the town that I live in, believe me I have checked. I just wish I could find some one that lived near me (I live in Pa) that either knew where i was coming from, is going through what I am going through or can tell me how to survive it, cause right now I feel like there is a rope around my neck and at any moment it's gonna get pulled and I am gonna go down.If any one has any advice I'll take it cause right now I am running out of answers and am frustrated and for just once in my lifetime I want to be happy and I am not. With that I am calling it a night, I will talk later tomorrow. Thanks for letting me vent.:Ponder:
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#2
Sep 08, 2008, 01:48 AM
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Hello Icanbnormal, and welcome to PC! I'm sure you'll be happy here.
I'm sorry that you're going through a difficult spot right now. The first thing that I would do is talk to your doctor about the meds, it's never a good idea to do these things on your own. There are other meds out there and perhaps they'll work better for you. Having young children is stressful, and sometimes hubby doesn't realize that you need a day off too once in a while. Any way to pack them a picnic lunch and send them off to the park for the afternoon so you can take a nice long bath, read a magazine, or take a nap? As for your friend, I would approach her one day after church and say "I really miss spending time with you, have I done something to offend you?" I wish you the very best of luck!
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I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children. |
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#3
Sep 09, 2008, 08:18 AM
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:Good-Post:
you do need to take some time for yourself. also, watch the adderall, talk with your dr about it as it is not a good idea to just stop taking meds you were prescribed, but adderall can cause serious mood swings etc. hope things get a little easier soon. lost
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love yourself first, the rest will follow |
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#4
Sep 09, 2008, 06:51 PM
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Hugs to you!!!
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#5
Sep 10, 2008, 05:16 AM
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Quote:
I'm not much for talking sometimes and can get quiet but I'm here and could use a friend too 
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#6
Sep 16, 2008, 05:33 PM
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I can definitely relate to the title of this thread.I was treated like I was a bad egg, or a wild child most of my childhood.The feelings and the image of myself as being stupid or different didn't go away after being dx'ed. If anything the realization that there WAS something wrong with me made me feel worst for a while.Give yourself time to get adjust your perspective now that you have this new piece of the puzzle.
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#7
Sep 18, 2008, 01:19 AM
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Quote:
 Take heart icanbenormal --I don't think you are going to fumble now after having come so far. If you have ADHD, your probably as resilient as most of us with ADHD are; thus, being to stubborn to fold your cards now But really, those of us with ADHD are really adaptable. I have a nephew with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS), and his brother they told us when he was 3 had Fetal Alcohol Effect (allegedly a lesser degree of severity or whatever). I'm no doctor, but you really don't seem to have FAS by any stretch of the imagination. Is it possible you have Fetal Alcohol Effect, and not the full blown disorder of FAS? Yes, but you need to have a professional assess you to find out. I find it highly unlikely that it's possible considering that you saw a psychiatrist who you don't mention as diagnosing FAS/FAE. Was your mother drinking alcohol while she was pregnant with you? That is the only way to develop FAS/FAE spectrum disorders. I had a good experience when I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 26 because I went to a PsycholoGIST first (not a psychiatrist) who was recommended to me by two people and who has 20 plus years of working with adults with ADHD (and all the other stuff too). Usually a psychologist or other type of therapist will refer you to a M.D./psychiatrist if they think medication is a good idea to try or a second opinion or whatever (which my therapist did). ADHD adults are just one of his little areas that he really enjoys--and it's a good thing too, because we really need more ADHD educated psychologists, psychiatrists, and other healthcare professionals for both kids and adults. Surprisingly there's a lot of ignorance in the psychiatric community regarding ADHD. Psychologists and therapists of other stripes are most often far more knowledgeable of mental health disorders and more comprehensive in their assessment and treatment planning--which is usually far more individualized than what a psychiatrist usually makes time for. There are wonderful PDOCS out there (psychiatrists), that I am sure of, but I would definitely seek a second opinion from a psychologist who can give you a really good comprehensive assessment for comorbid conditions like FAS/FAE, learning disorders and other comorbidities. Did your doctor who prescribed the Strattera and Adderall make a diagnosis of FAS/FAE as well as ADHD? http://www.additudemag.com/q&a/ask_t...pert/1222.html I don't think that Adderall is the cause of your menstrual cycle issue, because it's not listed as a side effect. I don't know about Strattera as a possible cause as I haven't looked it up. Did you see your prescribing doctor about the menstrual cycle problem you are having, and if so did he conclude it was from the Adderall? Don't worry. It's just a temporary problem to be solved, and I think we can get there and solve it. Be patient with yourself, and seek out a psychologist who can be your ally in figuring it out. 
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--SIMCHA |
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#8
Sep 18, 2008, 10:57 AM
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I know how it feels like to have no one to relate to. I also feel some severe loneliness from time to time for not finding anyone at all who I can relate to... I feel like I don't belong here, because all I'm good for is helping out and being smart, since usually people approach me to ask me if their schoolwork is right or wrong, then completely ignore my existence... And even if it's help on personal problems, they tend to forget about me as time passes by while I try to keep our friendship going, even if it's one-sided...
Out of all the friends I've ever had, me and my ex were the only ones with problems. She never found anyone like her who shared the same experiences as her, and I've never found anyone who's been more or less through what I have been, or shares in my tastes and opinions... I haven't found anyone with my same tastes in music, or my hyperactivity, or who shares my opinions, not even a little bit. I'm too different, and it sucks. I've been living in the same town for almost 20 years now, and I haven't found anyone whom I can feel normal with, both in and out of town... And believe me, I have tried! But after you keep talking and they don't answer you back or show signs of interest, you start to get the feeling that you're boring and only good for listening. That's probably why I'm always making jokes, to make sure they're paying attention... I usually feel better and more apt to socialize when i'm with someone, and I think I know why: I tend to try to understand my friends' tastes and points of view to the point where I can see similarities in his and mine's own opinions, and I use those similarities to feel "part of the group", which makes it easier for me to socialize. When I'm alone, I spend a lot of time sitting by myself, learning from the environment what limitations I have to set myself before acting: language, mobility, tone, and whatever else people do around me to socialize easier, then I try to apply them to my own behavior, then finally I can start making new friends. But it's a long process, and usually takes me well over a month, unless someone else approaches me first, then I act like a saint until we get to know each other so I don't offend them accidentally and they back away from me. This "think before you leap" attitude of mine has really made me suffer these last years, since I've passed on friendships, relationships and work opportunities, because I try to see everything that I should do so I don't slip up, before finally deciding if I should take the first step. My advice: Even if you feel so nervous you have to lay down on the floor as if you're dying (like what happens to me occasionally), force yourself to act first and create friendships... I have a lot of friends, but only because they are all my childhood friends and we haven't become enemies or strangers to each other... So they're not REAL friends, just people I know and can hang out with if the need arises, even though we share nothing in common at all. Don't end up like me, a lonely person in a hostile environment (especially now that i changed colleges and I know no one, and some of my closest friends aren't even trying to contact me... And it both sucks and hurts)! |
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#9
Sep 18, 2008, 11:40 AM
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Dear ICBN, I feel as though we might have some things in common, I'd enjoy talking with you by pm perhaps if you'd like to. be well!
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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