[Bluesummers]

This, may possibly be some dumb questions, but I wanted to ask: I feel like I've come a long way on my journey to try and be a better person since I started a few years back.(I hated myself and wanted to change it for the better. Also I have Asperger's and depression, just for some useful details)

However, it would seem, that I'm still a very emotional person, and things can at times easily upset me or make me negetive. And people take issue with that. I guess what I'm wanting to ask is, am I doing something wrong?

I mean, there's times where I know, my mood would have me be nasty or upset with someone, and yet I don't act upon it, I just keep it to myself. 90-95% of the time I'd like to think I'm a very good human being. I try to not be selfish, I try to be compassionate, considerate, nice, sharing, and what not.

I just don't get where I'm going wrong. Am I not paying enough attention to my emotions? Am I paying too much attention? Its very confusing. And its upsetting in itself, because I give my all, even if its not much sometimes, and that's frustrating.

I'm sorry, this wasn't very well typed now I look back at it, but I'll post anyways, in hope this makes sense to someone, and they can offer a bit of insight. Thank you for reading.

[CantExplain]

What is it you think you might be doing wrong?

[Bluesummers]

Being too emotional? Not having enough emotional control in difficult situations? I'm not truly sure, I just don't truly understand, but I must be doing something, if it sometimes pushes people away. I don't understand if its all me, if its other people, if its both, if its just someone like me, is going to get that way when under duress. Like I say, I always try to be a good human being, and be good to those who are good to me. I think thats a big part of what makes it so confusing to me. Sorry if thats not helpful. =x

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Bluesummers

...and be good to those who are good to me...

What about those you don't know yet? Are you good to them first or do you wait for them to be good to you?

You say that you sometimes push people away. I used to do that. I was too quick to assume they'd hurt me on purpose.

Bad people do exists, but they are not common.

[Bluesummers]

Hmmm, with new people, I'm generally cautious. I suppose I wait and watch to see what intent they may carry, how they seem to react to me. I'm usually polite, but quiet. It can take a while for me to get used to a new person, or get a feel for who they are. Not always though. Sometimes, they may break ice, and find common ground, in those cases I tend to relax and not be so quiet and guarded.

I find that I need to be in an honest, open environment, that's where I tend to do best. Where there is no cloak and dagger, no reason to be guarded, over worried or on edge.