All social behavior learned?

I'm pretty sure I have some traits of asperger, I never got diagnosed because I can cover up those issues really well!
I suffer from depression and I wonder if I might should talk to my doc about those, what I think are, asperger issues? I'm sure the frustration influences my depression!
As long as I remember I kind of learned somehow all social behavior. For example I'm not asking people how they are because I want to know, I do because that's what everyone does. I have an extreme lack of empathy and people usually call me "cold"! I cannot image how other people feel, even though I try!
I have a hard time to feel sorry for people.
I usually focus on some specific subject and I want to learn everything about it.
To other people I look normal, besides the being "cold"!
I really hate the friendly thing or that I cannot feel emotions when I hear about tragedies, it makes me feel different than other people and I think that leads to my depression!
I'm married, I love my husband, I have problem expressing my feelings because often I dont have any or can not interpret them myself!
What should I do? Ask a doctor and might risk a diagnosis or just keep pretending like all of my life and hoping I will learn to deal with it? I'm really confused!
FYI just found the autism spectrum test, I scored 40!

Sounds like my current situation.

I still have to resist the temptation to actually tell people how I am when they ask. They usually don't want to know.

All the time.

Talk to a doctor, get tested, and then you'll know. If it isn't Asperger's, hopefully you can find out what it is. It can make it easier to treat or manage if you know what you have.

Same score here.

In addition to learning to "do it because that's what everyone does", when growing up we have to get responses from those around us. If we don't get any sense of feelings from those around us, we cannot learn how to understand or employ our own. Learning emotional behavior is not just "learning" like one is in school (the watching what other people do and then copying it) but interacting with others; if we don't have others we can interact with in a good way, we don't learn the complete interaction package.

I would talk to your doctor, maybe have him refer you to a therapist and see what you can see (if you want).