[DreaminAzul]

I am sitting in my room, while my son is outside the door, screaming, pounding on the door, and, in general, being out of control.

This is not the first time, in fact, it has gotten better because I have learned to go away and not freak out in response. If I do not get away he will grab at me, pull my hair and try to block me from getting away from him. I have called the police a couple of times, and he usually calms down, then freaks out again once they are gone.

I know exactly what triggered him. He messed his pants (he will be 17 in a few days, so he is a little old for this) and I took his computer away. Now the rule is if he messes his pants, because he will not get up from what he was doing, he loses whatever it was that he did not want to leave.

He knew this was the consequence when I realized what he did, and he freaked out, and his brother needed to keep him away from me while I grabbed the laptop. This is insane! Why do I deal with being attacked by my own son? Because I love him?

Thing is, now her I am in my room, locked away from him, and it is not right. He is actually calming down, but I know as soon as I open my door it will start all over again.

Not only that, he will go through everything in my room looking for the computer once I leave the house. Yes, I can lock my door, but sometimes I forget.

I know what his doc says, I know what the behaiourist says, and I am doing it. I just want a life of my own. I keep thinking I probably need to put him in a residential center, but I know, once this is over, I am going to say, oh, everything is ok, he will get better... he is 17! Who am I fooling?

Have any of you ever been through this?

[Dreamy01]

Oh my goodness, I'm having almost an identical weekend here.

My son is severely autistic and has screaming fits like you describe. His room doesn't have a lock but I have had to put him in there when he's really out of control. I've been crying all morning as he's been so bad. He will scream in my face to provoke me, pull my hair, throw things, self harm. I don't know how to handle him when he gets like this. Fortunately it doesn't happen that often now and I suspect (well hope) he may have a water infection which is impacting on his behaviour. I don't want to imagine that it's because he is nearly 11 and growing up.

He has also been wetting his pants left right and cente despite having been toilet trained since he was seven. I had to put a nappy on him last night and he just laughed.

So yes, I know exactly what you're going through. My son lives with his dad and dad's girlfriend during the week because I couldn't cope with my health problems. Even weeeknds when he's like this feel unbearable.

My son will almost certainly need residential care when he's 18 unless his father is able to take care of him full time. I';m not abaondoning him I just know he needs more than I can provide.

It is difficult, challenging, heartbreaking and I feel for you. I spent years as a single mum trying to cope with my son 5 days a week before I had a mental breakdown over it as well as my physcial health and we arranged for him to go to his dad. I know what it is like. Hugs.

[DreaminAzul]

Thank you. I am glad to know it is not only me, and I am not causing his behaviour.

He is better this morning. My older son distracted him last night so I could sneak out the door, and it felt better just to get away.

Thank you, again. Today is a new day, and I have apple trees to plant. Maybe I will try to get him to come with me. He loves applesauce, and it would be cool for him to see how it is made, from beginning, to end.

[Dreamy01]

Glad things seem brighter now.