[yellowfrog268]

How many out there in your 40's or beyond who were never formally diagnosed with Asperger's as kids? Was it due to your parents not wanting to have you evaluated, the diagnoses didn't exist when you were a kid, or you were mis-diagnosed?

If any of the above, did you pursue a diagnosis as an adult and if so, was it easy to find a qualified person willing to evaluate you?

[The_little_didgee]

I am not 40 (35 years), but I still wanted to reply since I was diagnosed in adulthood. Why? Asperger's Syndrome wasn't known when I was a young child. I also grew up in a small remote community in northern Canada, where medical care was limited.

My mother always knew I was different. She often wondered about my unique development, but felt my delays were most likely due to my brother, who is 15 months younger.

I always wondered about my oddities and social difficulties. A few years ago, I started reading about highly sensitive people. It was during this reading, I discovered Asperger's Syndrome. I immediately knew I had it. Soon afterwards, I discovered others suspected it. My mother urged me to get assessed so I requested an appointment with a psychiatrist, who diagnosed it.

The official diagnosis wasn't a huge surprise to me. Autism came up many times, when I was using psychiatric services during my adolescence for adjustment problems. No one seemed interested in exploring it, because of my sex (female) and I wasn't "hiding out in my mom's basement in front of a computer." In the 1990s, Asperger's Syndrome was mainly diagnosed in males.

I was diagnosed with a myriad of psychiatric disorders that did not describe my situation, very well.

The diagnosis has helped me heal, and fully accept and understand myself. If this is what you are after, it is worth getting assessed.

There are psychologists and psychiatrists who diagnose adults.

[Focus62]

This may not apply to me as I am only 20 years old, but I am certainly out the typical age range for diagnosis. I am currently seeking a diagnosis and have something in the works, but it was certainly not easy for me to find a doctor who was able to do it! I called a few places with psychologist and psychiatrists who had no clue how to diagnose it, and so I called a couple that are an hour or so away until I finally stumbled upon an actual practice that is specific to autism, child through adult. I am very lucky to have found such a place I think. It might take a couple months before I even get an appointment, but I am willing to wait. The reason I was not diagnosed as a child is because my parents refused to have me evaluated. I am not positive I have it, but I think it's very likely. You might have to call around and travel a ways to find someone that is qualified to assess for it, but don't give up! I think as the above poster stated, it will help me fully understand myself if I were to be diagnosed. I think I would feel relieved to finally know what is "wrong" with me, so to speak.

[catsrhelm]

I am in my forties, and wish I knew where I could turn to be diagnosed as an adult. The closest I came was I was talking with a therapist, who suggested that I had Asperger's. I do know I have multiple learning disorders. That wasn't diagnosed until I was 16, so there were just certain things that didn't seem to exist back in the bad old days. I do also know I have always been a sensitive person.

[yellowfrog268]

It seems that for most of us adults who were not diagnosed as kids, that the main reason we seek out confirmation of the diagnosis is so that our thoughts, behaviors, ways, etc. will be validated in some way.

For some, like me, it's so important to be able to say---You are not a freak! There is a very valid reason for why you think and behave as you do!

I've spent all of my life wondering why. Why can I not make friends as easily as everyone else? Why does it seem that I'm out of step with everyone else? Why don't I say the appropriate things at the appropriate times? Even when I know that I'm supposed to say or do something in a particular situation, often I fail to identify just what that something is. Usually ends with someone else looking at me like I'm stupid or insensitive for not saying or doing the socially appropriate thing.

[geeknoel]

I am 63 years and never been diagnosed in my life for Autism, yet always knew something was wrong with me, especially the lack of friends, the anti-social aspects of always talking about my subjects, and always wanting to do my owm thing..

[H3rmit]

Originally Posted by yellowfrog268

I've spent all of my life wondering why. Why can I not make friends as easily as everyone else? Why does it seem that I'm out of step with everyone else? Why don't I say the appropriate things at the appropriate times? Even when I know that I'm supposed to say or do something in a particular situation, often I fail to identify just what that something is. Usually ends with someone else looking at me like I'm stupid or insensitive for not saying or doing the socially appropriate thing.

Me too, and I've wasted my life struggling to overcome this on my own. AS (Asperger's syndrome) was not a diagnosis in the 60s when I was taken to be evaluated as a child. When I finally tried to get evaluated, they did intelligence testing first and decided I wasn't disabled (great - what about the AS?) and probably wasn't AS because I formerly "succeeded" as a teacher, if you can call spending all non-work time recovering from forced interpersonal interactions "succeeding." Oh, yeah, I didn't get fired and made good money, but I was dying inside. I sacrificed everything to my job. I feel dead inside. Always acting as if on a stage... in a Beckett play. I feel so burned out, even though I quit that job many years ago. So, to me a clear diagnosis of this would not be moot as the evaluator seemed to think. On the other hand, I would hate to tell a psychiatrist what I really think. Yeah, I don't think I could ever trust one of them, given the power they have and things I have seen and heard done to people by them. Locked away and loss of freedom, chemical straightjacket.

Should I even post this? Will it make any sense to me or anyone. Thinking about this has really affected me. Well, I know I can trust most people on this forum, so I might as well let it rip.

I'm 20 y/o and I haven't been formally diagnosed with Asperger's. No one would ever have thought that there was something wrong with me before the age of 11 because I was a high-achiever and I found it easy to make friends. But now everyone knows there's something 'different' about me and I overhear people discussing my mental health. It's so depressing.

[yellowfrog268]

ItsAnAspieLife,

That is interesting.

Have you been formally diagnosed?

[Cellerest]

I'm 27 and was diagnosed as having Aspergers at 18. I was basketball captain, head girl, editor of school paper and a great student. I went to uni, and fell apart.

No one who knew me before I went to uni would have suspected because I am a coper. I cope very well until, well... I don't.

I think sometimes being a high achiever both academically and socially makes it harder because people just can't accept the person they know has this difference. I can be too good at acting 'normal'

If any of that helps!?

[lostinbooks]

I recently began seeing a therapist who suggested I may have Asperger's. I was floored. I'm 34 and have had trouble coping with society all my life. I never considered this. I know I was evaluated for autism as a child, but it was decided I didn't have it because I was intelligent. But I have since learned that Asperger's and high functioning autism don't come with mental retardation. I'm not sure what to think. I'm afraid to tell my husband, but on the other hand it would explain to him why I am so detached emotionally. He always complains of this. I have strong emotions, I just can't show or articulate them.

[peaceseeker123]

I am in my forties. I grew up in the part of Asia where mental healthcare has not been widely available. After coming to America about two decades ago, I was diagnosed depression and anxiety. Never really improved much. In the past 3 years, I have suspected I have Asperger all along. My suspicion has grown stronger since I saw my Mom last time. She is in her 70s and has always been staying home. She has only one or two friends. Easily gets angry. She has always been known to be nice to her friends but not to her own family. Now that she's older, she does not appear friendly any more even to friends. She does not make conversation during dinner with anybody. Me and her only sees each other once every one or two years. There's nothing deep in our conversation over the phone or in person. She never asks "How are you?". There's little physical contact when we lived together. When I asked for help emotionally, she got angry and defensive; she would try to end the conversation quickly by saying "just focus on doing your part and don't care what others think about you."

My worries now is more about how to deal with my life as a wife and son. I am failing my son because I have difficulty connecting with him. Sometimes, I feel that I am worse than my mom as a parent. Being unemployed has made things even worse. There's less to provide for my son materially. My guilty feelings are building up stronger by day. I have entered into some sort of viscous cycle where my social anxiety, lack of confidence, depression are disabling me to a point where I am shying away from seeking jobs.

[WePow]

I am 43 and was given my official DX last week. I had other issues (PTSD) and (DID) and had been in therapy 4 years for that. My therapist was busy treating the trauma issues and did not have a chance to address this aspect. So I went to an expert and had myself checked in order to rule it out... or in as the case was.
My mom has read some links I sent her and she said "You were just like that as a kid! I just thought you were super smart and the social problems were the other kids fault." I told her she was not wrong.

Anyway, finally understanding this is the reason I am the way I am allows me to accept myself for the first time in my life. And I can now stop blaming myself for being so different from the other people I know.

My husband and I are self-diagnosed after taking tests online, but we are absolutely certain that it applies. I could get an official diagnosis, as my 29-year-old daughter recently did, but I don't see a need. It wouldn't affect my treatment any. All that really matters is, "Here are my symptoms and traits, and this is the best way to deal with them." I don't much care what title is given to the set of symptoms and traits. My husband also doesn't want to bother. He feels since he can make a living, it doesn't really hamper him, so why put a label on it?

[-jimi-]

I was diagnosed as an adult in my 30s. Asperger's wasn't a thing until I was i my 20s and even then the diagnosis was only for those with severe Asperger's. Asperger's as we see it today didn't exist until I was almost 30.

I was misdiagnosed for many years as personality disorder, first specific ones, but none matched really, so I was PD NOS. My doc seemed happy with that for a long time until she went to a seminar or something because suddenly she knew about AS and sent me for testing.

By then I had known I had AS for about a year. I mean I follow stuff. I talk to people.

When I was a kid even autism wasn't a thing. Most kids with severe autism were labeled mentally retarded, some with language disorder and milder ones could be labeled MBD, but MBD also included mild retardation, learning disability and ADHD. There was no chance in hell I would have been seen as MBD as I was an academically gifted kid.

My parents probably thought that I was a little odd, but that had no diagnosis back then. The "help" you got was being nagged not do certain things (no strange body positions) and be normal (try to be boring). But no one thought of it as a disorder.

I was in my early 20s when I sought help for anxiety issues and I was rapidly diagnosed, to my big surprise as BPD. Back then in Europe, it was still the thing you used for anyone that wasn't neurotic or psychotic. They thought I was strange and I couldn't understand why. I mean sure I saw myself as different but I was said to have poor emotional contact whatever that meant. And I didn't laugh when I should and I guess I reacted wrong in other ways. So for a while they wanted to upgrade me to schizophrenia even.

In a way I was OK with having BPD, it was like given a bonus, I went there to try to have anxiety treated and I got a lot more. I guess I somehow wanted to be weird. These days I wonder why they didn't just treat the symptom I was having an issue with, if they had done so I would probably not have had all the issues I do today, many are iatrogenic. Asperger's of course is not but the diagnosis like I said didn't really exist, it was in its infancy.

After I waited a year for my psychiatrist to understand I had Asperger's she asked me about it, I just said I think so too, and she sent me for testing. I think I waited 18 months for it or something. Around here, if the doc thinks you should be tested you will. It's just a heck of a wait.

I didn't by then know how much I NEEDED the diagnosis, I thought I just needed it confirmed for my own wellbeing. Comes out I did need it for my sick leave as rules here changed and you could not have benefits just for depression and anxiety. Also I have now a care worker once a week that helps me tidy up, and where I live the patient do not pay for the help.

So I guess that is my story.