[PsychObserver]

I met someone with Aspergers and I want to support and show them I care and be able to communicate to them effectively. I think he had a meltdown, he's says he's depressed. We just met and we had a solid three days of fun of knowing each other. I think he was off his medications because I notice ocd, preoccupation with a alarm clock,hyper and excited when we were at the grocery store about cheese and we bought about 4 different flavors of the same cheese. I notice that once I change the channel on the television he started pacing back and forth looking for his phone, I help him find it. Next while I was waiting for him to come back and sit down he was pacing again and trying to set his clock. He was adamant in making sure it was set and anxious about being late for work.

Anyways, he text me all day and then after the three days, nothing. Except when I stress he needed to call me. He did but to say he is depressed and may have bipolar and is being assessed. What do I do to support him and show him I am not going anywhere. thanks

[-jimi-]

I wish I could help but I think I'm a too laid back aspie to be able to relate. Wish you both well.

[okok111]

One thing that's absolutely crucial for you to know is that most/many aspies have difficulty recognising emotions, and they also see things in a fairly black-and-white standard. There is very little "inbetween" in an aspies head, which is why they struggle with "gray" areas such as romance.
Now, onto your question(s? I'm not sure). Sorry if I come out a bit bossy, but please only take the following as suggestions. Try and make your feelings somewhat clear, but don't treat him like a five year old. In terms if the pacing, don't worry about it. Aspies tend to (in my experience) pace to pass the time or well, I'm not entirely sure WHY exactly, but I tend to do it whilst fiddling around with machinery of some form or talking to somebody whilst I'm thinking about the conversation to a large extent. The way that things are for me might be slightly different to that of the unidentified him, and vice versa, so please don't take any of this as what he WILL be like.
I wish you two the best of luck, and a merry Christmas too, I suppose.

[RTerroni]

I can be very hard to do and I don't think there is any standard for everyone, each person is completely different.

[RichardBrooks]

Okay, confession time: we're infuriating to most people. I am just beginning to understand that, but I have been called cold, emotionless, arrogant, and statue-like. Those are the friendly terms. The emotional/social realm is something we just don't comprehend, but that doesn't mean we don't feel; we just have problems displaying emotions, recognizing social cues, and communicating our feelings and needs.

So you need to be precise about what you are thinking and feeling, because he almost assuredly won't pick up on your facial expressions, body language, or subtle hints. Also, understand that he expresses himself differently from most people, and don't expect the same sort of displays of affection that you would from most people. We tend to interact with other people through interests and experiences rather than emotions. The thing with the cheese is a good example. And, yeah, a lot of the time you will have to initiate any interaction deeper than just relaying information back and forth because he probably won't think to do that on his own.

Lastly, how your post started: "I met someone with Aspergers and I want to support and show them I care and be able to communicate to them effectively," shows that you're already doing the most critical thing you can do, which is understand and accept.

[rosska]

+1 for RichardBrooks' post.

I haven't ever managed to maintain a relationship for more than about 10 months. I either come across as "uninterested" or "boring".... apparently.

Like Richard has said though, I think a large part of that is simply because we don't experience our emotions and interactions the same way others do.
To me, it's not boring to do the same thing every day if it's something I enjoy.
To me, I am interested even if I don't want to meet up every day of the week or always stay over (I like my own bed and I like my own house and space because my routines fit better with that, less anxiety).

Emotions for me are a tough one, they are usually very on or off. I only recently came to understand that most people not on the spectrum experience a 'technicolour' of emotions. That is to say, you can feel more than one emotion at a time and to varying degrees. For me that isn't the case, if I'm happy then I'm happy. There is no degree to which I am happy, I simply am. The same is true if I'm sad, which is a difficult one to experience because it can last anywhere from hours to weeks and being sad and only sad is not a nice way to be. This can make relationships (not just romantic ones) difficult.

My thoughts work in a similar fashion, I'm very prone to 'singular thought' where if I'm thinking about one thing or worrying about one thing in particular, then nothing else around me is even considered. That doesn't mean it's not important to me, it's just not what I'm thinking about right now. Which I would say is probably how your friend was when trying to set the clock on his phone.