[Victoria'smom]

I'm putting it out here because I would like your opinion before even approaching my son who is 11. We have home-schooled him thus far. Next year he has the option to go to a school that only takes children with ASD. I'm thinking that the parents will be more understanding and understand that he really isn't being rude when he gets upset and explains why you are wrong about something. He may find more people that he connects to that share his same interests, that don't shy away from his vocabulary, constantly question his picking and don't bat an eye when he has to take his meds.

At the same time home schooling is so much more relaxed and non-pressured for him. There are students that are homeschooled that have ASD.

Also he does not know he has ASD. He suspects it because he identified with the main character in "Livie Owen Lives here" and he has stated that he does X,Y,Z like (family friend) that also has ASD. We tell him it's his adhd but one day we will have to tell him just broching any topic without inducing anxiety is tough.

As a kid would you have rather gone to an ASD school or home school?

[rosska]

Well I went to a standard school, I hated it and took a lot of sick leave because of the stress and the overwhelming anxiety I faced about going to school. If I'd known I had AS back then, I would have loved to go to an ASD school simply because it would have been nice to be around other people more like myself.

Home schooling has it's advantages, but a major problem we face by being on the spectrum is missed social skill developments. Being home schooled or in standard school isn't ever going to get him through those developmental stages, whereas a school designed for people on the spectrum may really help there.

I'd also advise you to tell him sooner rather than later that he is on the spectrum. I know you're his parent and you don't want to cause him anxiety or upset, for which I commend you, though if my parents had known when I was 11 I would have wanted them to tell me.

By age 11 I already knew I was different to everybody else, I just didn't know why. When I started secondary school (just before I turned 12) things really spiralled for me very quickly. Knowing could help him understand and cope better. If he knows, then he can understand himself better, and perhaps identify issues related to his ASD more easily, which means he could ask questions about it or explain what he's feeling without fear of nobody understanding him.

[medicalfox]

When I was a child I went to a ASD school and then when I went to standard schools I was in special ed classes until I got into high school, but had disability accommodations (I still have them for college). Being in the ASD school was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed it compared to the standard schools when I was growing up. I agree with rosska about possibly telling your son. My mother never told me which made my life so much harder than it needed to be.

[Victoria'smom]

I told him the conversation went like this:

"Miguel you probably know but you also have the dx of Pervasive developmental disorder NOS"

"Who said!?"

"It was on your paperwork from the test you took this summer"

"I'm not Disordered!"

" No, It's just saying you have difficulty not arguing with others when they are wrong or not following the rules? and you have difficulty with tone"

"So they are right because I'm disordered?"

" No babe, they are usually wrong but your not suppose to tell them each and every time"

"Why am I disordered all over?" (pervasive)

"It's just the name."

"Why am I Not Specified?" (NOS)

"Because your just that awesome that the that they don't know where to put you."

"I'm tired can I go to bed?"

"Yeah, do you have any questions?"

"Like I wrote to Therapist my head's scrambled today."

"You can ask me, anything at any time."

"I know, your my home therapist."

[rosska]

I'm glad you were able to have a conversation about it with him. Children are much more resilient than we give them credit for and if they have a supportive family to help them understand things, they can get through most of what life has to throw at them.

I wish you all well.

[NWgirl2013]

My son is home schooling, his choice, but it is SO HARD for me. I have to do so much and because I suffered a brain injury 2 years ago, his high school is not as great as I know it can be. Plus we moved into a new community & I am at a complete loss here...

I wish I could figure out how to find a fairy godmother (or father) who could help us. My son couldn't handle school, so here we are.

I would home school if you can, find support while he is this age, and he could have an awesome school career. If it is what he wants.