Communication

While listening to an author speak on the radio, I discovered just how much I don't understand emotions and motives. The lady was able to appreciate things in life that I cannot see. I realized at that moment, I am wired to observe the material world, such as mushrooms, rather than human behavior. Since this is innate I never realized it until now.

Now, I know exactly what autism means.

No wonder, I have so much difficulty navigating relationships. I cannot interpret the implied message. How can I anticipate what another person is thinking or going to do, without using my personal experiences as a reference? Almost all people have been nasty towards me so I automatically expect they are going to use or insult me.

I know exactly what you mean.
When I was diagnosed, my friend loaned me a book (she was studying to be a psychiatric nurse) which was all about autism and the differences between how those of us on the spectrum think compared to how those not on the spectrum think. My mind was blown.

Hi, Didgee - I thought we had talked about this a long time ago, actually. It took me a long time to learn little bits of these implied and motivational things so I could cope with a world of people with those different understandings and orientations. I was able to teach professionally, but it was like a high-wire act. Too exhausting for me, too much flying blind. Even normal (neurotypical) people have to work to be excellent at these things, because people are perhaps the most complex mammals. Many people don't work at it and just assume we're all the same as them. I suspect those people are often the mean ones - they have no depth.

So, yes, no wonder. It's exactly right, and important to keep in mind. A problem worth working on, perhaps. For me it was a necessity. Wish I hadn't had to do it.

I am wired to deal with things and not with people. But that's Ok. We live in an age of things.