Do I sound asperger's?

Hi. I know that nobody here can give a diagnosis but I just wondered if anyone can relate to this and if it sounds possible I might be asperger's.

I am/have always been socially anxious. For a while when I had a job, did some voluntary work and started to socialise more, I found I was a little better and enjoyed being around people a lot more. For the last 2 years I have been depressed and stopped working, going out and socialising so now I am as anxious as ever.

I am/have always been very sensitive. Things upset me easily.

I find it difficult to manage my emotions.

I find relationships with people difficult. I have never had a relationship or many close friendships. Intimacy scares me.

Unfamiliar situations make me anxious. I find change quite difficult to cope with emotionally.

I don't think I have normal levels of empathy. For example, if ever I'm given bad news about someone being unwell or dying, I feel nothing. I also find it difficult to feel any emotion towards another person. I know it's there because my counsellor gets it out of me but I keep it locked away so I can't even feel it myself, never mind express how I feel to another person.

Because of my social anxiety, I hid away from people and kept myself preoccupied with painting/drawing. I suppose at times it was all I thought of and talked about because I had nothing else going on in my life. I'm not sure whether it was an obsession???

I do sometimes notice analogies between things.

sounds like maybe you have some borderline personality traits also. social anxiety can be a part of bpd also. I am not so socially good either. Only in situations I am comfortable around can I talk to people I know. Even at family gatherings I do not talk much. Take a look at bpd criteria online and judge for yourself.

Anyone can have traits of a mental illness, but not diagnosed with one. What you described sounds more like borderline personality disorder, but only a psychiatrist can diagnose you.

Is it possible to be BPD even as a child?

I don't think so, from my understanding personality disorders develop in like adolescense or adulthood....never heard of young children being diagnosed with them.

Anyways from your description I can't really say if I think you have AS or not, just not enough info and some of what you described is common in other disorders to but it certainly is possible.

I have always been this way for as long as I can remember so it's not going to be a personality disorder, is it?

I should also add that I have real problems with all or nothing, black and white thinking. For example, I find it hard to accommodate conflicting feelings and belief within myself and realise that things aren't right or wrong, good or bad etc. I read this is an aspie trait. Anyone else here struggle with this?

Black and white thinking is also a Borderline trait.

Is borderline and asperger's similar???

Here is psychcentral's quiz, to help you begin to see if a doctor can diagnose you with asperger's, since only a doctor can diagnose you.

Autism / Asperger's Quiz

I scored 39 so yeah... looks like it's definitely asperger's/autism.

See a doctor.

I think seeing a doctor let alone one who can diagnosed autism/aspergers is much, much easier said than done for most. I got lucky and was able to see a neurologist through the childrens hospital I went to as a kid getting blood tests and such done(forget exactly why initially). Other then that I don't see how I would have found someone with the qualifications to diagnoses aspergers let alone afford to see them....especially since I didn't even have medicaid at the time.

Of course it is important to pursue a proper diagnoses, but I can see what makes it difficult...I mean I was pretty sure I had aspergers before being diagnosed so I wasn't telling myself 'nope cant think I have that since its not official', I just wasn't going and telling people I have a diagnoses of AS when I didn't I was open that I suspected it but wasn't formally diagnosed.

I've heard that it can be, I think people with both can be deeply misunderstood by others as well.

The test is far from exact. Compared to the number of questions you have to answer for an official diagnosis, that test is a walk in the park. No diagnosis like this can be made online, so you should really try to speak to a medical professional about your concerns.

I started a thread called " need to know about Aspergers to know how to help teenage son". If you can find that, they gave me ALL KINDS of info & links to help me understand it! Too much for me to list here and it was very helpful. One in particular was Temple Grandin: "The Autistic Brain" You Tube. Hope this helps.

Thanks everyone. I don't want to tell myself 'of course you don't have asperger's' when everything I've read so far only supports that I have. I did see a GP but they told me it's a long wait etc etc Basically fobbed me off. I don't know what a formal diagnosis even entails. Can anyone tell me??? I do want to know one way or the other because getting a diagnosis would explain why I have such difficulties relating to other people, expressing me emotions, feeling my emotions, lack of empathy when something tragic happens whether it's to someone I know or someone I don't, black and white rigid thinking and overwhelmed by my emotions when I finally do feel something.

I agree.


My daughter has Asperger's, She was seen by a psychologist who suspected she had Asperger's they ask how you're feeling and take notes, Daughters Psychologist then referred her to Speech and language who made the diagnosis.

How old are you? If you're under 18 then you need to be seen by CAHMS.

Also I would change your GP, Nothing is worse when we don't feel listened to, even if you see another GP at your surgery, Make them listen to you.

Good luck.

I'm in my 20's. The more I read about asperger's the more I think I definitely have it. I think it's kind of coming out more now than when I was a child or teenager. I've tried to talk to my family about it - the only source of support I have - and they just laugh and say of course you haven't. I just feel so different to everybody else, like I'm missing something. I think that I'm lonely and want to have better relationships in my life but then when I actually spend more time with my family, I can't handle it. I feel like I can't cope with all the emotional stuff, I'm out of my depth, I'm terrified of relating to other people because I feel like I don't know how and they will see that. It almost feels like there is something blocking me from feeling my own emotions and understanding others and when that block momentarily comes down, I am terrified. I do want to be happy in life but whenever I am it feels wrong and selfish. I am disgusted by me and always wishing I was someone else who knew how to relate to people, who was liked, who is basically normal - something which I don't feel I will ever be or deserve to be

I hear a lot of self doubt, and a lack of self esteem. Have you ever made a list of all the GOOD things about you?It may help, to see them all in print. There are support groups out there, I recommend the depression bipolar support alliance, if you go to the website, dbsalliance.org, and click on 'find support,' and put in your zipcode, you can find one near you..sounds you like you are depressed, and I have found these support groups condusive to building and maintaining true friendships, where you can be yourself, and open up, and hear that others feel the same way, you do

Check out the self esteem forum, work on feeling good about yourself...I can tell you are a pretty special person The trick is feeling that, deep down. Easier said, than done...My twentie's were extremely difficult for me, but I grew out of my struggles, and am doing well now, in my early fortie's, my thirtie's were good, too. I wish you the same path towards healing..

When you say it is coming out now more than as a child or teenager that is supportive of the personality disorder angle. Also the black/white thinking and inability to handle emotions are classic borderline traits. I can relate to a lot of what you said (especially the social anxiety and lack of empathy) and I suspect that I might has aspergers but I'm not sure. You could also have autistic traits and also have a PD. Be careful of convincing yourself it's one or the other, especially based on an online tests... aspergers and various PDs can be easily confused even by professionals. I am a bit crazy too and don't know exactly what's wrong with me so I feel for you, man.

Your best bet is probably to speak with your GP (or a different GP at your practice) and tell them you'd like a referral to a psychiatrist.

The diagnostic methods seem to differ slightly depending on where you live. For me, I was referred to psychiatry for something I thought was totally unrelated and in the first appointment with the PDoc she told me she suspected a lot of my 'issues' came from Aspergers. She asked if it was something that had ever been brought up in the past by previous PDocs (I've seen a few) but it hadn't so she asked if I'd like to be referred to a specialist clinic to undergo diagnosis to find out one way or the other, which I did.

Waiting for that to come through took a couple of months (added on to the couple of months I had to wait to see the psychiatrist in the first place). This specialist came out to our house to meet me, she reeled off what felt like a never ending sheet of questions (realistically it was probably only around 200 or so). The questions ranged from things about my daily routines, emotions, interactions with others, right up to questions about 'common' phrases and my understanding of them etc. After all the questions, she asked if she could speak to my mum and I said that'd be fine. Speaking to my mum she was mostly asking things about my childhood, any developmental problems etc, but she also asked her about things like my mood and how I speak to people and whether or not I come across as rude or unemotional etc. When she was done with that she packed up and said she'd be in touch in a few weeks after she'd had a chance to speak things over with her colleagues at the clinic.

Just two weeks later I got a phone call from her to let me know she was confirming a diagnosis of Aspergers and that she would send myself, my GP, and my PDoc a letter confirming this and explaining her reasoning for the diagnosis.

Reading that letter was probably harder than the meeting in many ways, because it was very clinical and it spoke about many things about myself I was blissfully unaware of until then. I never knew I sat so rigidly when I was in the company of other people (mum said I've done that my whole life, news to me though haha). Nor did I realise I wring my hands so much. I wasn't surprised about her comments on lack of eye contact, I've never liked eye contact. I was a little upset that she'd said I wasn't very 'reciprocal' in the conversation, because I know I can be a bit quiet and shy but I actually thought that conversation went really well so reading that was a bit of a kick to the ego.

I've put this here just to give you an idea of what a diagnosis may entail. Also to highlight that the 'test' you took on this site is far from adequate to make any such diagnosis. There are many mental health disorders which have similar symptoms to AS and it's important to speak to a qualified psychiatrist who understands these conditions so they can make the decision on whether or not it's what you have.

Don't go worrying yourself about it. If you don't have AS then fantastic, it's probably something that can be treated which is great news for you! If it is AS, then it's not the end of the world. In fact, I feel a lot better since my diagnosis just because I know now that there are other people who think the same way I do, and I'm not just a di*k who doesn't like being around people for no good reason haha.

BPD and asperger's can be quite similar. I have a theory that they could even have the same root cause. Both involve high sensitivity and impaired ability to make sense of emotions or communicate about them. I suspect that maybe Asperger's is more likely to show up during early childhood, even though nobody might recognize what it is in many cases. Personality disorders are long-standing patterns of behavior that develop as a result of experiences in early childhood. Borderline personality disorder is known to be related to emotional invalidation during childhood. Marsha Linehan explained it in terms of a highly sensitive child, who reacts to things in a way that people don't understand and so they tell her that her reactions or emotions are wrong, but she still felt them and is confused. She learns not to express what she feels because it will be punished or invalidated, but she keeps feeling because she is sensitive and it is real to her. Eventually she over-expresses it or explodes because it is just too much and that's what it takes to get anybody to take her seriously. Then they tell her that she can't really be feeling that because she wasn't showing any sign of it earlier.

My theory is that that high sensitivity and difficulty communicating it accurately may be related to autistic traits, perhaps subclinical levels. So it can be really hard to tell the difference between BPD and asperger's. I thought that I had BPD and found out eventually that it was actually asperger's. It would be possible to have both.

Personality disorders are learned during childhood and typically diagnosed in adulthood because that is when it becomes clear that the patterns are dysfunctional. The only personality disorder that can't be diagnosed prior to age 18 is antisocial personality disorder (it would be conduct disorder if younger than that). The main reason for not diagnosing personality disorders in childhood or adolescence is because the symptoms of personality disorders may be developmentally normal for children or adolescents, and they might grow out of it. If they don't, it could be a personality disorder.

I was diagnosed with Borderline PD... Some psychiatrists still think I have it. But I'm the opposite of you; I had more problems with such issues when I was younger, and now that I'm older, I've learned some coping strategies. I personally think you could be either, or maybe even both, BPD and AS. But I'm not a doctor, and so therefore my opinion should not be taken too seriously, and you should probably consult one for a proper, formal diagnosis.

Can't be diagnosed with BPD til you're 18.

You sound like my GF who is BPD
BUT you also sound like me, and apparently.. I'm ASD/Aspergers (and ADHD), but found out recently that have put on tough face, and been counter-depend to avoid pain, and never fully being able to accept ASD, I think might of been a misdiagnosis for C-PTSD (and OCPD, which shares similarities with Autism)

Black and white thinking is also sometimes in extended trauma (C-PTSD), as a coping mechanism, I believe.

I never reacted to hearing of someones death, or ill in the past, I watch movies and cry quite a lot. Intimacy USED to scare me til I met my GF. And yeah, the rest of what you said sounds like me as well. I would have to agree with the peeps above me though, with sounding like BPD.

Things are good or bad, they just "are" and make/do the best beneficial one for that moment?
Both myself and my GF told each other that. I think my GF probably is C-PTSD as well.
BPD usually stems from childhood trauma. Her's being slightly different to mine.

Borderline is consider the super female disorder, Aspergers being super male.
They do have some similarities but fear of abandonment in BPD is one of the main things that seperates them. Not sure if you experience that, but C-PTSD comes before BPD and they are similar and pretty much cause of.

If you think about teenage girls mid teens whatever, going through the stage of trying to find identity, BPD would be the extreme version of that, with C-PTSD already generally causing numbness, emotional and physical, possible flat affect (how react), anxiety, poor impulse/emotion control etc.

Whichever it turns out to be, I think it's great that you are dealing with it!