Self-diagnosed AS

Hello!

I have written a post some time ago on the Depression section. I also wanted to say hello here, to you guys, as I am more and more convinced to have AS or HFA. Every single test I take (I know that online test mighnt not be a reliable source of diagnosis) tells me I am in autism spectrum. Also, when I read other people's stories I can see myself in those, like someone was describing me. I once tried talk about my concerns with my previous psychiatrist but was told not to look for diseases.

I was extremely shy and still am. I started to talk when I was 3 years old. I love routine and can't handle stuff when my routine or plans are messed up. For example I can have a huge anger outburst if I can't put on the t-shirt I planned to put on (because for example it's dirty or something). I always was and still am a picky eater. I live alone during weekdays and eat very little then, cuz I just don't remeber to eat, but when my mom is at weekends I eat meals normally, but because she makes me those. I have big difficulties when it comes to social interactions, I can't handle small-talk, meetieng new people is hard for me, I don't go to parties, I hate going to malls and other places where there is a lot of people (I only go to a mall if I really have to, which happens 2-3 times a year). I also have this nervous tick, I can't really describe it, I do this thing with my fingers. I used to do it a lot in high school, not even knowing I was doing it unless someone asked me about it. I don't understand sarcasm, sometimes I say inappropriate things not knowing that I should not say those things. Once I get interested in some topic I read and read untill I know everything about it. Last time when I got interested into one topic I was obsessed with it for a couple of months to the point that I even made a study on it at the hospital where my Students' Scientific Group is and my study was later accepted to be presented on a huge international conference. Feeling that i have achieved what I wanted in this area I now got interested in other topic and, again, got completely obssesed with it. I was always perceived as a weirdo. I also can't handle certain sounds, and texture of clothing. I am very horribile in having conversation as I unintentionally interrupt other people. I am also a very empathetitc person, I help others, and I also trust people very easilly and care about them as if they were my family, just to find out later that they do not care about me as much as I care about them, which brings me a lot of very unpleasant situations. I also misinterpret other peoples body language, feeling and even their words (which was pointed out to me on a lot of occasions) I pay attention to details, i notice patterns, and am maybe a little bit obsessed with number 3 (for example I wash my hair 3 times etc; a lot of things have to be done 3 times in a row). I notice some traits of OCD here and there, like the zips on my backpack have to be on the same side (if I ask someone to take something from my backpack I tell them how to place the zips, but I always find myself taking the backpack off and doing it myself again).

I notice much more traits of AS but it's hard to write everything all at once. Anyway, all of that had lead me to having a major nervous breakdown and depression, and as a result failing my final year of university...

Should you have any questions please ask me those, as it might help me understanding myself.

All the best for you guys!!!

Aleksandra (23 years old)

And also I have one more question. Is self diagnosis as real as being diagnosed as a doctor when it comes to AS? After all, I am the only one who knows myself (at least I hope so) and am 100% sure I have AS. How can some else tell me what I have and have not. After all this is not some disease that can be diagnosed with a simple blood test. And is very difficult to diagnose in person who is 20-something years old. Thinking that I in fact have AS makes me more comfortable with myself as I know the reason for my behaviour and personality. Am I right or just talking nonsense?

No, do not self diagnose yourself with anything. You can't self diagnose yourself with cancer, or with anemia, or with allergies, or with anything at all. You need to be medically evaluated by someone who has spent 12 years in medical school to properly diagnose anything. You said you are shy, that doesn't automatically mean something is wrong with you. And taking online tests don't mean anything at all. My niece just started talking at 3 years old - I think that's more common than you might realize.
I like routine as well, you might just be a type-A personality. But I'm not a doctor, so you should talk to one. How can you be 100% sure about having AS if you haven't even been tested for it yet??
Noticing patterns is normal, and doing something 3 times sounds like OCD not AS.
Also, you said you're very empathetic? People with AS have said that they have a hard time relating to other's emotions.
I'm just pointing out that the reasons you've listed do not automatically mean AS.
My sister came home from work one day crying because she convinced herself she had aspergers, we had to convince her that she was totally normal. She claimed she met all the criteria for it on some website, and she was convinced she had it because she "was obsessed with dinosaur toys when she was little".

Based on your description I think some form of autism is possible. I don't think you are talking nonsense.

I think that CosmicRose's post was very dismissive. I never would have brought up the possibility without doing tests online and tons of research myself. Also, females can exhibit Asperger's differently than males.

I know several people who are self diagnosed, mostly because they lack the ability to have an assessment due to it's high cost, or unable to find someone who will deal with adults. As you know, a random psychiatrist isn't going to be too helpful with this. I don't think it's a matter of self diagnosis being real for Asperger's, but it is possible it's not accurate. It's hard to be objective about yourself. When I was considering the possibility that I had Asperger's the people who I talked to online said that unless I needed it for some reason, such as accommodations at school/work, that it might not be worth doing. For me though, the fact that I might be wrong made me decide to be officially assessed.

I self diagnosed with Asperger's one year before any suspicions, then I was sent by a doc to the waiting list for the proper testing which took 1.5 year. So I knew 2.5 years before my formal DX. Even before I had some thoughts about it but back then I did not think I would reach up to a DX which actually might have been true at that time.

I am normal. This is my normal. I'm sorry if someone finds that bothersome. I'm just another type of human being and I don't fit well into society, still I am pretty sure aspies do play a part even if it is rarely in the spotlight.

I listen to people's problems and I do care and moreso I try very hard not to think they feel what I do. I try to genuinely understand what they think or feel based on their experiences, not mine. So I do take offense when people say I do not relate to their emotions.

I also have tics and OCD with my Asperger's. It's actually not uncommon. I can tell OCD from my aspieness quite easily though. I can get upset because my planning is disturbed, but this is not OCD, it is something I wanted to do and planned to do. In the absence of a plan we might be upset. Because we lost what we wanted AND we feel destabilized by the now uncertainty. OCD is more something coming from what we don't want. I don't want to feel bad stepping on a crack. I can't help feeling bad. I know I should not feel bad. Still I do. The aspieness is there to help, even in a sometimes clumsy way, OCD is never helpful, it is always in the way and unwanted.

Where I live it is very important to be diagnosed because it opens up to much better help than just psychiatric. But all countries are different and some places a diagnosis might help much less.

self diagnosing when it comes psychology i think its not such a horrible thing...but to actually no for sure you want to get a professional diagnosis

at least that is what I have been told most of my therapists. I have always been told if I was suspicious of something going on with myself and I am being observant and self aware...is a good trait to have...and it can be beneficial in a long term way.

Just_a_name, I see a lot of my myself in your post.

I self-diagnosed and it turned out to be right! My mother congratulated me on my discovery. She knew but never said anything. I also learned that other people suspected it as well. My developmental history also highly suggested ASD. All this was enough for me to request an assessment.

You know yourself better than anyone so if you feel you have ASD and the developmental history to support it go and get assessed. It can be a very helpful diagnosis.

I have ASD and lots of empathy. Everyone I personally know with ASD has empathy. The main problem is with reading social cues. When you have a hard time determining what someone is feeling or missing the cues it is very difficult to empathize at the time. I often miss it but I will realize it later on. Sometimes people don't know how to respond and/or hold back because of the fear of saying something offensive.

P.S. Your post was a bit dismissive.

I didn't mean to be "dismissive" but any professional will tell you to refrain from self diagnosis.

Well you ARE allowed to suspect something or why would anyone go see a doctor?