If I theoretically had Asperger's how would I cope?

So I did the quiz a while ago and just now went and looked at the criteria and they basically fit me like a glove. I'm highly skeptical I'd get an official diagnosis in this area, but I'd just like to go over my routines with a working hypothesis that I do have Asperger's.

First, I do feel considerably better with a rigid routine. A while back I quit it, in a possibly misguided attempt to lead a more normal life, and I feel like my mental state has been progressively deteriorating. But at the same time, living around normal people makes it also somewhat stressful to maintain a rigid routine.

Second, all my life I've wanted to pursue creative projects, which has been making me miserable, but I've thrived at complex reproductive... er, replicative?... I hope you get what I want to say... activities, such as transcribing musical scores by ear... Here I don't know what to do. I don't want to spend my life as a replicator...

Third, I've got terrible coordination. Well, I guess I'm used to it by this point.

Fourth, I guess the elephant in the room - terrible social skills. I work from home and from time to time I suspect it to be a very mixed blessing, because I've become almost completely socially isolated, aside from my mom who I live with... On the other hand, I don't feel any interest in becoming more socially adept. Maybe that's normal. I mean, if most people just left me alone I'd be fine, except not fine because I wouldn't know what to do in the case of an emergency or something, which worries me.

I also wanted to be a writer, but aside from creative troubles, I quite frankly had terrible time with characters, them being supposed to be people... I don't know, that was supposed to be on my bucket list, but I'm not sure if it's completely gone or what.

Privet! Okay, I wanted to answer your questions, but I couldn't find any that required an answer (reproductive... er, replicative?) I did understand what you were wanting to say. Anyway, could you frame a question? I'll check back today and tomorrow (but will be out of town and offline after that for five days or so).

Yeah... I'm not exactly sure what is the most productive thing to ask. But I feel like the most pressing questions are

do you have any advice about creative endeavours from the Asperger's perspective? I'd kind of like to narrow my interests and efforts down to what is realistic to accomplish. I might need to expand on this point more.

and what do I do with the social aspect? If I have no social interests, a non-social job... but at the same time I feel sort of precarious...

I have only recently been diagnosed with Asperger's and I'm in my fifties, but I've known for some time. As a result, I didn't get the help and/or direction that many who have been diagnosed earlier in life have received. This has been a benefit as well as a detriment. I wouldn't let a diagnoses limit me. Frankly, I think that it is best to let your own interests guide you. If you are interested, then I would think that you are capable of accomplishing it, regardless of diagnosis.

My creative outlets earlier in life were things like chess and math. They felt like art to me, and I still think that at the highest levels, they are art. Eventually, I began making framed pictures of overlapping graphs of mathematical functions - my reaction to them mirrored regular folks reaction to art and so I began thinking of them that way.

I have written too, I have one book published and another in the process. The first was technical, the second, a novel.

I'm not certain what you mean by precarious in this context, but if you have no social interests and no social requirements at work, what is giving you pause in accepting this? Why not simply enjoy your solitude?

Only thing is that up until this point I've been a resounding failure as far as creative things are concerned, and I'm hoping that recognizing my condition will help me rely on my strengths and avoid my weaknesses. How do you approach your writing, for example? I personally need to know that all the events follow each other with meticulous logic. Encompassing a novel-length text in this manner seems almost physically impossible (or at the very least always made me miserable in the end), so maybe I should embrace the short-story format...

As far as "precarious", I'm constantly afraid that something bad is going to happen and I won't have anyone to turn to for help. I've been trying to convince myself that this way of thinking is not useful, but life is constantly proving me right... Although in the ways that it's impossible for other people to understand how I might get upset this much...

You may have aspergers, but it's not always fruitful to self diagnose. Have you sought out a professional to help you determine this?

Many of the things you are experiencing are just part of the human condition. we struggle we feel confused. We're not sure what direction to head in.

I am a writer and artist and I struggle with it. Creativity doesn't just fall out of the sky. We have to show up and do the work even if we don't creative at the moment. Writing a novel is a marathon not a sprint. If you are good at short stories you could try writing a lot of them and weave them into a novel.

Well, I don't know why I fixated on writing... I kind of want to visit a professional, but I have trouble leaving the house for a long distance and using the phone. I'd almost like my mom to take care of it, but I'm both ashamed and don't want to give her any more excuses to treat me like a child.

Instead of being ashamed you could look at this as an opportunity to grow. Take charge of your life and guide it yourself. As far as your mom is concerned I think if she sees you doing something to help yourself she would be less likely to treat you like a child. Get strong! Stay strong!

I'm struggling with creativity as well. I'm relearning my struggles as they are my personal ones.

When I was diagnosed with Asperger's which I was despite my social skills (I have a disinterest in socializing which makes it less obvious the struggles I have, but also I have always been able to make friends, which seems to disqualify from Asperger's), it was like I got the condition. I got infected.

The infectious stage really hurt my creativity. Because I compared with other aspies and their creativity. And listened to such nonsense like aspies cannot write novels.

It took me a while to realize I still can. I am the same person as before the diagnosis. And actually, knowing I have Asperger's has helped other situations but not the creative stuff. I have never heard or seen any aspie tips on how to be creative. Just how to do other stuff.

So I realized I still have to go to myself. And see what issues I have. And which I do not have.

When it comes to replication, I have wondered if this is common for aspies that are creative, or if we're just aware of how the creative process works and NT:s are not, after all, all creativity is replication. I am aware of steps in doing other things too, and others are unaware. So maybe it is really the latter.

Yeah, on the one hand, the pressure of a long work, perfectionism, etc, is something a lot of people would struggle with, not necessarily dysfunctional; on the other hand, I just can't help suspecting that the way I perceive the world is different, like I've long felt alien in this world (just to the way other people interact with each other). But I don't think there's any question that some people qualitatively handle the creative process... better. Like, they don't feel any inhibition inventing whole universes out of apparently thin air. Whereas I just can't, and even if I try, it feels unpleasantly raw and icky.

I think possibly raw and icky created cubism. A theory of mine.