[ArcheM]

(First, I don't have a diagnosis, but this seems to maybe fit here more than in social anxiety. But I don't know.)

For me the draw is basically just the fun new sounds and interesting etymological connections. Not traveling or meeting people. And it's hard for others to understand.

Yesterday I, on a whim, signed up for a site for language-learners, mostly for the feature that lets other people to correct your text (and vice versa). Then I got a message from a person suggesting teaching each other our native languages. I probably should have ignored it from the start, but I guess I've become careless, and exchanged several messages. Except now he's asking if I have Skype (I actually don't know if they're a he or a she...). That doesn't suit me at all. First, I don't have Skype. Second, even exchanging personally-addressed messages is a stressful event for me... So I just don't know. If I simply say that I don't have Skype... Will that be finally it, or will there be other suggestions? Or do I just start ignoring them from now on... Any advice?

I'm also thinking that I should stop studying languages altogether because that only leads to confusion. Everybody thinks that I must want to go to clubs, travel, etc.

[Shazerac]

Arche, only do what you ate comfortable doing. If you don't want to Skype ..then don't do it. Same with personal messages. Don't deprive yourself of something you want to do.

[ArcheM]

You're right. I wish I knew what to do in my current predicament. I hate every option. Both ignoring them, simply saying that I don't have Skype, or explaining in some depth why that doesn't interest me... Maybe inaction is the lesser evil, especially on the Internet. Otherwise I'll just waste a ton of time on a hundred different drafts.

[Shazerac]

That sounds a lot of effort. There is a very simple alternate solution. Say "No thank you."

In this way you have politely declined. You are not required to offer any explanation. If someone pushes and insists that you explain. Then it is a warning that this is someone you don't want to be involved with.

[ArcheM]

Blimey. And now they're asking about gmail. The interaction is kind of getting cringey, to be honest. Maybe it's just me. I mean, gmail is better. Still, for me it's an intrusion of an unusual interaction into what I essentially use for receipts.

It doesn't help that the whole website has turned out to be a terrible, confusing, poorly-coded mess.

I wish I could suggest Facebook to them instead. Unfortunately I've been split from my languages of preference by a cultural barrier which had me go with a site called vk instead at the time when I cared about joining intrusive social networks.

Yeah, I have to quietly drop it this time, because otherwise I'll get snappy, especially because now I've started wondering why the don't want to use the site with which they contacted me the first time. It even has a live chat section, if I were interested (although more likely than not, it barely works).

[ArcheM]

Oh my .... It's all about awkwardly imposing on strangers. Today I left the website open for a couple hours while doing something else, and had a couple persons try to initiate a live chat, including one who insisted on continuing a conversation without a single message from me... I'm honestly feeling scared. I feel like I've discovered a dark underbelly of an innocent hobby.

I wonder if there's any people like me, just studying quietly, sometimes popping up for a difficult problem... Or if it's mostly those... I shouldn't speak of people like that, but they really feel quite alien...

I mean, a language, if native, isn't just for the most extroverted people, why should foreign languages be?