Boyfriend with High-Functioning Autism

Hi Everyone,

I'm neurotypical, but I'm dating a man who has very mild Asperger's Syndrome. I've worked at a summer camp with children with autism, so I could tell from the first time we met that he had Asperger's. This does not affect how I view him––– I care about him very much, but there are some things that he does that bother me a lot.

1) Sometimes when we're talking on Facebook, he'll ask me a question, and then in the middle of my answer will leave. He doesn't reply until the next day.

2) Sometimes when we talk, he only asks me to send pictures of myself (clothed) to him. It makes me feel like he only likes me for my appearance, although he's said that he doesn't.

3) He doesn't talk to me for days, but randomly will speak to me out of nowhere.

I am wondering why he acts like this, and what's going through his mind when he does things like this. Do you have any suggestions on how I should respond to this behavior?

Hi. This would just be my opinion on what he is doing.

I can't say about number 1, but I have done number 2. For me, I like to ask people to send pictures of themselves if I care about them a lot because I miss their physical presence near me, and just seeing how they are at the moment makes me quite happy. Looking at someone I care a lot about brings a smile on my face.

Number three could be that he needs a social break. I can not handle being around people and talking to people all the time, so it could just mean that he needs some time to himself in order to mentally be ready to talk again. It's not that he's avoiding you, just that he needs to "hibernate" for a few days.

This is what I think based on personal experience.