i am so broken up today...

today was really hard on me. i was drug around town. i went into walmart and the secound i walked in the door i got so scared...like everyone is so judgemental. i know they probably didn't even see me. truning bright red wanting so bad just to run out of the store. then we had to go to the mall i stood outside and chain smoked and cried. i get so sad cause i'm so lonley and i have no real friends honestly i have no friends. and i long for friendship so bad. on new years i went to an old friends house with my dad i bought a six pack to share with my old friend we had a falling out cause he tried to sleep with my girlfriend, but i still tried to be nice i offerd him a beer and he just got up went to the shower and left with other friends. so i stayed there sat on the sofa alone and drank. i went home and spent new years alone. locked up in my room.

that picture is so cute. made me smile...

hey fourwalls

sorry you are feeling so bad, and that you had to go all those places while feeling that way, and that your new years was made miserable by your supposed friend.
I can't offer any advice, but hang in there..I know how it feels to be that lonely.

i'm tryin' thanx

What I find to be helpful when trying to be social is to start off slowly.

Play some online games that you like and meet others. You don't need to be afraid of being judged online because they don't know you, so that anxiety is gone right off the bat. Get some confidence online, then bring that confidence over to real life.

And if it makes you feel any better, I know LOTS of people that stayed home on New Years. Don't worry about it. News Year is just an arbritary date; it doesn't mean anything. I mean why are we celebrating the Earth going around the Sun? Seriously?

Good luck!

And how are you doing now, Fourwalls? Is your anxiety level any better?

sadly no, i have been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder with marked avoidant personality something i can't remmber how he put it. also borederline personality disoreder, and generalized anxiety. anyhow for me to go out in public he put me on 1mg of xanax, but i've struggled in the past with pills so i don't take it. i don't go out at all or go in any stores i love drive up's and drive throughs. and like wise i have zero friends. besides the friends i have online.
thanks for asking.

(((fourwalls)))

((((((((((( fourwalls ))))))))))))

you all are so kind i wish a new more good people.
sending my love and prayers your way....

May you feel the support of the PC Community, fourwalls.

Hi, nice to meet you. I have no friends here. I will be your friend here. Just send me a private message. I lock myself in my apartment and my mom goes and gets the stuff I need then I pay her back. Peace, Allen279