Avoidant? So confused...

So, my T is absolutely convinced that this is what I have now. We've gone back and forth between a few ideas, and she acts like she is positive that I'm Avoidant and not Borderline. After years of thinking that there's a chance I could possibly be borderline, this newest therapist is convinced I'm avoidant. It's so confusing! Because she thinks I could be bipolar too.

So, I guess we'll run with it for now? I've hardly even heard of avoidant personality disorder, let alone really know anything about it. I guess I'm just really confused and not sure what to think or do. Cuz the criteria does fit me.

Hi jnt1989. I quote from wikipedia (perhaps not the best source, but it has some intriguing info): "Although it is not mentioned in the DSM-IV, earlier theorists have proposed a personality disorder which has a combination of features from borderline personality disorder and avoidant personality disorder, called "avoidant-borderline mixed personality" (AvPD/BPD)." Not suggesting this might be a possibility for you, but I do notice personality traits and disorders can have quite a bit of overlap from what I have read.

Here are some resources I have found on AvPD:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidan...ality_disorder
http://www.avoidantpersonality.com/
http://www.social-anxiety-shyness-in...ersonality.htm
http://books.google.com/books?id=fGS...20plan&f=false
http://www.gulfbend.org/poc/view_doc...&id=41572&cn=8
http://www.peopleskillsdecoded.com/a...lity-disorder/

I have avoidant personality traits - they seem to be fairly common - and suspect I might have developed some form of this disorder. I wish you all the best.

Hey, thanks...
I've googled it and found out a bit about it... I don't get to see T till next month... I guess it just confuses me that so many things get suggested n I don't know what to think about any of it...

*hugs*

Getting diagnosed can be a confusing process. Like Onward pointed out, many illnesses have overlap and similarities.

Diagnostics are meant to be strict, objective categories with clear boundaries (because the dominant approach to mental health treats mental disorders the same way as it does physical illness)--but we're people, and these are our minds, not our bodies. We don't work that way! We often fit into more than one box, and mental illness is a complex, fluid, and confusing thing... Avoidant has things in common with Borderline, and Borderline has things in common with Bipolar, and there's a lot of other intricacies and connections in there, too, I'm sure... Being confused when trying to figure out what's going on with yourself is a completely normal thing.

If it's any help, my situation is similar to yours. I was recently diagnosed with both bipolar disorder and avoidant personality disorder. Both disorders can be diagnosed simultaneously, since the former is a mood disorder, while the latter is a personality disorder. But also like you, I used to think I was borderline, not avoidant! And while I'm coming around to the idea more (I had an epiphany the other day, realizing that the Avoidant diagnosis explains so much of who I am, what I do, and how I interact with people), I still feel there are certain traits that fit more into the borderline box. Since I don't believe in clearly defined boundaries between mental disorders, I probably have elements of both. Perhaps that merged version which Onward suggested. :P

It sounds like you have some time to think about it, between now and your next T appointment. Bring your thoughts to her, when you next see her. If you still don't agree with the diagnoses after speaking with her, you can seek a second opinion. Different professionals will often diagnoses different things (objective science my foot ;P), and you are an active participant in your therapy. You know what you experience and feel better than anyone, so don't let others put a label on you, if you don't feel that label fits with your experiences.

And if it takes time to figure out what you feel best fits your experiences, that's ok too. It IS a confusing process.

*hugs*
Wishing you all the best! Please keep us posted on how things are going for you.

Hey, thanks guys...
Um, I have to admit that the more I read the same things over and over about it, the more I see how it fits me. There are just certain things that confuse me and don't seem to fit...
Like, the other night, I cried myself to sleep cuz I kept having all these thoughts about my grandpa dying. He's getting older and he's my whole world right now. I absolutely adore him! And the other night I kept having all these thoughts about "what would happen when he dies" and what it would do to me and how lost I'd be without him. It scares me to think about it. But I couldn't stop...the thoughts wouldn't stop going through my head.
Idk... I'm just ready to get some answers and be done with all of this mess...