[Captainkeefy]

So I went to see my psychiatrist today and she told me that I have Avoidant Personality Disorder. She said now I need to make the most out of my therapy now and to see myself as 50% of the person that I want to be an push to achieve the rest. Great advice until I self destruct again and blame anything but me.

[Ultra Darkness]

How the heck do you be half the person you want to be? That sounds... difficult.

[Captainkeefy]

Basically because I'm so self critical and I expect myself to be flawless and without error all the time and if I don't do everything 100% to my internal standard I get depressed and blame myself

[Ultra Darkness]

Ah. I get that way sometimes. When that happens, I usually have to step away for a minute. Then I can go back to it and things look better.

[Captainkeefy]

It's frustrating. I find I have to give something an hour sometimes before I come back to something and see it logically.

Im on the exact pase as you. Perfectionism etc.. I was just told to do 100% last week and ended up self defeating even worse..

The 50% sounds like a good idea.. I think..

[Ultra Darkness]

I've always been something of a perfectionist. While putting labels on boxes recently, I was told to just "slap them on". I swear I was horrified by the idea!

[Captainkeefy]

See now I would of heard "Just slap them on perfect and if they aren't perfect you a failure."

Can't believe someone posts on this thread then leaves the forum, makes me wonder what I did!?!

[Ultra Darkness]

Erm... Sorry? I'm not sure what to say...

[Captainkeefy]

I was just kidding when I said makes me wonder what I did. Stuff like that jumps to mind for a second

[Ultra Darkness]

Oh, okay. Anyway, this isn't an often-frequented forum, so I usually head back to the bpd forum or something when I finish here.

[Captainkeefy]

Yeah, the BPD forum is very busy compared to here. You should jump on the chat too!

Originally Posted by Captainkeefy

See now I would of heard "Just slap them on perfect and if they aren't perfect you a failure."

Can't believe someone posts on this thread then leaves the forum, makes me wonder what I did!?!

You generally have to put in to leave a good week or more before it's granted. It wasn't anything you did; just bad timing.

Originally Posted by Captainkeefy

So I went to see my psychiatrist today and she told me that I have Avoidant Personality Disorder. She said now I need to make the most out of my therapy now and to see myself as 50% of the person that I want to be an push to achieve the rest. Great advice until I self destruct again and blame anything but me.

I'm glad you finally have an answer. Keep in mind that you're diagnosed on observation and that your diagnosis can change a bit as your psychiatrist gets to know you better. Good luck!

[Captainkeefy]

Thanks Maranara,

Funny you should say that because I have told a lot of people a while ago that I see myself as comorbid Avoidant and Histrionic. I think I've shown traits of this in Therapy, my Pdoc said she thinks the histrionic stuff is me overcompensating for my true feelings. To be honest, I don't know. I agree though I do think who an Avoidant would think.

Anyway whatever it is I have, these are just medical terms for behaviours. I have Therapy next week and I'm going to throw myself in head first and get as much out of it as I can. I want to do something constructive with my life, I've wasted so much of it and I don't intend on wasting anymore.

[Ultra Darkness]

Originally Posted by Captainkeefy

Yeah, the BPD forum is very busy compared to here. You should jump on the chat too!

Believe me, I would if I could. Unfortunately, my device doesn't support chat.

[Captainkeefy]

That's a shame. would have been good to see you there.